Waterfalls wrote:
Yes, I struggle with it. Partly because I've been told I'm pretending, or difficult, at times but also because I experience myself as normal, and don't we all? And to take eye contact as an example, it does seem to me there are many people who don't have to think about it, and work to remember to look at and look away and to watch for signs of discomfort and try to correct---and part of me thinks, well, doesn't everyone? Doesn't everyone have to watch and think things through? I do, and that's my perspective, and it's hard to see how others live because that's not how I am. Makes it hard to understand the diagnosis. So I do struggle too.
I think this is an insightful point. Our experiences are all subjective and our language is inadequate for conveying that subjectivity. So when I hear people say things like "I can't stand light touch" as examples of ways ASD affects them, I'm not really certain what to make of it. I don't like certain types of light touch either. But I can't be certain where my experience lies along the continuum from NT to autistic. It seems unusual enough to confuse some people when they first encounter it, but it's not so bad that I'm reduced to meltdown every time someone brushes up against me. To me it's always been just the way I experience the world, a seamless part of the backdrop of what makes up my reality.
I wonder if it's different for those who get diagnosed as children.