Dear All:
Hi-
I'm writing in utter exasperation. I've read tons about AS for years now, since my SO of ~3 yrs (we were friends first) has this.
The more I read, the more upset I feel based on the strong negative stories of others. I had endless energy until now.
I've continued this relationship because I feel that there have been baby-step improvements, but at this point, unless there's a thoughtful verbal honest commitment, I think I'm on my way out.
Namely things are now/will be more difficult due to:
-his stress level- there is ALWAYS something hugely pressing every few weeks he has to "deal with", based on his lack of planning ability and inability to commit to ANYTHING
-his moving a few hours out of town since he sold his current place
-his admittance to me that he felt like he was "taking advantage of me" during his stay with me, causing me HUGE inconvenience due to his slovenliness
-his lack of commitment to this relationship
-my overage of time spent helping him manage his life (my fault, but somehow easier for me to deal with)
-his inability to make any plans and expecting everyone to drop everything when he comes calling
-this dynamic of manchild/adult makes me feel like his mother (but oddly enough his mother is a free spirit who lets him "be")
-relationship has turned completely platonic since there is NO romance (I think he has no idea what this is)
-I do feel that I love him- but truly don't think he really cares either way, but is somewhat dependent on me for certain things socially: he insists I go with him to certain functions, yet will NOT come to any of mine unless kicking/screaming/moping/pouting and/or having some other kind of meltdown/blowout
-I am almost 40 and was considering having a family prior to meeting this disaster
In reading what I've typed, I see no logical reason to continue this misery. I am just very, very sad about abandoning my hope for this relationship, though there have been not many positives in comparison to the misery. There was a quality very endearing about him at times, which made me wish to "get to know him" better and spend time with him; however, he is NEVER present, nor can he ever meet me in the emotional place I need.
Devastating.
27 Jan 2015, 6:52 pm
