How to choose between two girls?

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RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 5:40 pm

My ex wants me back. She wants to come back to Adelaide and be with me. I still have feelings for her. But I remember how crazy she was, how impulsive she was. How she said she wanted to marry me the day after she met and then six weeks later she'd just move to Sydney without warning.

And all the time in-between she'd alternate between declaring her love for me, threatening to leave me and crying at me because I said the wrong thing. I still have feelings for her but I think it would be good for me to be with a girl who's more stable and consistent.

Last week there was this girl at the lodge. I'd met her two or three times at the community center but this was the first time she'd come to the lodge. This was the first time I'd gotten to have a proper conversation with her.

She's nice. She's kind of shy but that only made her more endearing to me. She's not one to make discussions on impulse. She has cutest laugh where she scrunches up her whole face and body. She's skinny and small and cute, like a pixie, even though she's a year older than me.

I could ask her out sometime. It's just a bit awkward with her mum there. She goes everywhere with her mum. She still lives with her mum even though she's 28. Not that her mum hates me. Her mum said she really missed seeing me at the community center since I got my new job.

They said they would come back to the lodge. So now I'm thinking, how do I ask out a shy girl? Should I wait a longer time? Should I become friends first and then ask her out?

With girls in general I've always been bad making the transition from friend to dating. Is there a proper way to know when the time is right or do I just have to make a leap of faith?

Anyway, the girl I was dating before said she wants to stay in Sydney for a few more months before returning. She says she's saving up for new furniture, which she wants to put in my apartment because she doesn't like mine. Also saving up for bond for a better apartment because she doesn't like that either. :x I like my apartment and I like my furniture.

She says she wants a two bedroom apartment so she can have her own room. Not her own bedroom, her own computer room. She says sometimes she needs time to herself (I don't blame her for that, we all do).

This new girl? She says she doesn't like loud noises or strong smells like perfume. She says she has hypersensitivity in all five senses. She says she doesn't like being touched. That could make intimacy impossible (also her shyness). Whereas the girl I was dating before was more sexually liberal.

:chin: Girl-from-before was a few years younger and appealed to my Asian fetish. New-girl is a year older than me and not Asian but she's much skinnier and cuter.

Most importantly, new-girl is more stable and consistent. She may be shy but she's not crazy like the other girl was.

Advice please?


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kraftiekortie
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10 Apr 2015, 5:45 pm

I don't find the Sydney-Asian girl to be stable. I don't like girls who want to re-arrange your home.

I'd go with the second girl.



RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 5:50 pm

Good call. Now how do I ask out a really shy girl without scaring her away?


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kraftiekortie
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10 Apr 2015, 5:52 pm

Just say hi, and talk to her like you would a friend. Find out what her interests are. If there's a book for it, I'd buy it for her.



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10 Apr 2015, 6:01 pm

OK, here's what she's obsessed with. Canada. She got so obsessed with Canada she went there as an exchange student for a year. That was a decade ago. She says she wants to go back for another trip but she can't afford it because she's unemployed.

I'm richer than her so I could afford to take her there but I don't feel like I know her well enough to go on any transoceanic trips with her yet.

I'm sure Canada is a nice place but I don't really understand how she could be obsessed with it. Then again sometimes I obsess over going to Italy so same difference.


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10 Apr 2015, 6:07 pm

Yeah, your ex is bad news, don't get sucked back into that drama, whatever happens with the new girl. Sounds like you already have a good rapport. If you can't get rid of Mom, just ask her: "Why don't you tell this girl she should go out with me?" :wink:


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RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 6:13 pm

Maybe. I don't know if her mum would help or hinder. I could ask her mum if she's single (though I'm almost certain she is) but that might creep her mum out and it might get back to the girl in a bad way.

These introverted girls, maybe she'd be shy of me but Yahoo Answers is full of twentyager girls lamenting that they've never had a boyfriend and asking why no guy ever asks them out. Some girls get really depressed by that. I don't know if she'd be like that, I can only speculate. I don't know if she'd see me as savior or threat or just some guy.

Also I should mention what I really like about this girl. She hates kids, just like me :D

That girl from Sydney said I had to give her kids. She didn't give me much choice about it. I don't want to be a dad. I felt so objectified, like she only saw me as a sperm donor. Why do women always objectify men like that?

Not just that girl, but on the dating sites? About 90% of the women say they want kids. But a girl who doesn't want kids is like one in a million.


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kraftiekortie
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10 Apr 2015, 6:18 pm

Don't ask the MUM if she's single, ask HER! She's almost 30 years old!

Ask her what part of Canada she really fancies. I think people like Canada because it's a "mellow' version of America.



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10 Apr 2015, 6:44 pm

If only I could get her away from her mother... anyway, do girls get creeped out when a guy asks them if they're single?

She seems to like all of Canada but she has fond memories of rural North-Western Ontario. I'd rather go to Toronto because it's more urban but that's on the other side of Ontario. I guess the plane would land in Toronto anyway.

I'd love to see the Rockies but that's on the other side of the country. Wait, do they still have that train that goes from Toronto to Vancouver? The one with the dome cars? That would be an experience.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Apr 2015, 7:02 pm

The second girl is not a choice yet.



RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 7:04 pm

Yet? How does she become a choice?


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10 Apr 2015, 7:07 pm

Are your choices only between a girl who exhibits symptoms of a bipolar disorder and another who shows symptoms of an obsessive disorder?

Really?



RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 7:12 pm

No but I wanted to keep it concise. Is it really so bad to have a special interest?


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kraftiekortie
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10 Apr 2015, 7:13 pm

Northwest Ontario is very nice--like the frontier. I went there once. Once you get beyond North Bay, and especially once you get past Cochrane/Timmins, it's very isolated.

She must like secluded places.

I enjoy them, too.



RetroGamer87
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10 Apr 2015, 7:22 pm

So is it sort of like prairie?


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kraftiekortie
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10 Apr 2015, 7:24 pm

It's forest in northwest Ontario. Mostly evergreens.

It gets quite cold there--sometimes below minus 40 Celsius.

The prairie is west of there. In the southern half of Manitoba, Saskatchewan, and southeastern Alberta. Very similar to the Great Plains of the US.