What's the point of one night stands?

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albmsr
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19 May 2015, 10:02 am

Hello people,

I see that in our society a lot of people are really keen on one night stands. Casual sex with someone you barely met and are unlikely to repeat the sex, or are going to have sex with them like 3 nights at most and them stop seeing them.

As an aspie male, I don't understand what's the appeal of this.

1) For me, sex with someone you are involved with emotionally is at least an order of magnitude better. By just having sex with anonymous people, without emotions, how is this different from hiring a prostitute (putting aside the upfront cost, which, in many cases, the prostitute will be cheaper)?

2) What wouldn't I want to keep seeing someone that brings me (and I bring them) good times and good pleasure? Why for a lot of people "pump and dump" is better?

Can someone shed some light?

I don't mean to bring the discussion to a "puritan" POV, but to really understand the appeal of it, since for me there's none. (Unlike a long term relationship)



albmsr
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19 May 2015, 10:25 am

It looks like I need to get better at searching for other posts

viewtopic.php?t=280545
viewtopic.php?t=188442



autismthinker21
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19 May 2015, 1:30 pm

one night stands are idiotic and pointless. you teach yourself how to have sex correctly for money and everything. its not really great sleeping with every woman you see. its almost like a job after a while. if you dont see the point, dont do it then.


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Cartier
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19 May 2015, 1:31 pm

They're fun. You get to have sex.

If you don't like one-night-stands, don't have any.



autismthinker21
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19 May 2015, 1:35 pm

Cartier wrote:
They're fun. You get to have sex.

If you don't like one-night-stands, don't have any.


i am sure you had your days since you say that.


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Cartier
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19 May 2015, 6:19 pm

autismthinker21 wrote:
Cartier wrote:
They're fun. You get to have sex.

If you don't like one-night-stands, don't have any.


i am sure you had your days since you say that.


????



AspieOtaku
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20 May 2015, 1:29 am

Sex that's what they are for, have as many as you can weeee!! !


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hilaryy_renee_
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20 May 2015, 2:07 am

I personally view a "one-night stand" as having sex with someone who you have no emotional/romantic feelings with. It's just the act of sex, nothing more. I don't agree with engaging in "one-night stands," but if that's what a person chooses to do, that's their decision.

The point of a "one-night stand," in my opinion, is basically engaging in sex to fulfill your needs or urges that you may have, while at the same time, not having to worry about the emotional baggage that may come with being in an actual relationship with that person.


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Outrider
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20 May 2015, 2:12 am

Different strokes for different folks.

One night stands aren't really my thing but I can understand why some people like it.



rdos
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20 May 2015, 2:57 am

It's disgusting. Simple as that.



yellowtamarin
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20 May 2015, 3:19 am

albmsr wrote:
1) For me, sex with someone you are involved with emotionally is at least an order of magnitude better. By just having sex with anonymous people, without emotions, how is this different from hiring a prostitute (putting aside the upfront cost, which, in many cases, the prostitute will be cheaper)?

The difference is that in a ONS you both are attracted to each other physically/sexually. With a prostitute it is their job, so it is unlikely that they are actually wanting to have sex with you for the gratification. They didn't choose you.

Also, there ARE emotions involved in a ONS, otherwise you're doin' it wrong.

Quote:
2) What wouldn't I want to keep seeing someone that brings me (and I bring them) good times and good pleasure? Why for a lot of people "pump and dump" is better?

Because most people want more than just sex from someone they are in a relationship with. You generally need more than just sexually attraction in a relationship.

Sometimes a person isn't looking for a relationship but is happy to have sex as a fun activity. In these cases it can actually be risky to sleep with someone who you might be romantically compatible with. Feelings can get hurt. Best to just go with sexual attraction and learn as little as possible about them, if you don't want to get attached. (Or sleep with that hot friend who you know you could "never live with").



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20 May 2015, 4:00 am

To debase yourself.



yellowtamarin
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20 May 2015, 4:09 am

Dillogic wrote:
To debase yourself.

How so?



Dillogic
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20 May 2015, 4:36 am

Debase = lower value to some extent

To me, partaking in simple animalistic processes is something a civilized person should be above, and that certain things should be exclusively shared between partners of a lasting relationship (you can say it increases the emotional pleasure knowing that it's exclusive, and not something easily given out based on simple attraction and primal urges). Not to mention that people that can't control their basic primal urges probably aren't the best people in regards to stability, and speaking as an autistic man, stability is one of those needed things. Hence, value is lowered (albeit, only through my eyes).

Of course, to each their own and all, and how they see these things.



albmsr
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20 May 2015, 5:56 am

Very interesting discussion and points of view.



alex
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20 May 2015, 5:24 pm

Dillogic wrote:
Debase = lower value to some extent

To me, partaking in simple animalistic processes is something a civilized person should be above,


I agree. That's why I've decided to give up eating food, drinking water, and sleeping. You should too! :roll:


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