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Displaying affection and ASD

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xxZeromancerlovexx
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10 Jun 2015, 3:34 pm

My mom wants me to hook up with a guy with Aspergers.

I know and have dated a guys with ASD, but they don't like hugs or kissing. I'm very affectionate and I think an NT guy would be a better fit, but my mom says that a guy with Aspergers would understand me.

What should I do?


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Wolfram87
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10 Jun 2015, 4:02 pm

My suggestion would be to find out if the guy in question like hugs and kisses, and go from there. I have AS, and I'm very physical. The stereotype of aspies not liking hugs and kisses isn't taken out of thin air, but it's also not universal. Also, distinguish between displays of affection when you're alone together, and when in public.


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314pe
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10 Jun 2015, 5:16 pm

Some aspies are affectionate, but very careful about showing it. You may need some patience to win their trust first.

Looking for a person with specific issues is a bad idea. Having aspergers doesn't make you a better or more understanding. Aspies are just people.



kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2015, 5:35 pm

Just go out with guys you feel affection for, and feel like you have something in common with.

Whether he's an Aspie/autistic, or whatever is irrelevant.



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10 Jun 2015, 5:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just go out with guys you feel affection for, and feel like you have something in common with.

Whether he's an Aspie/autistic, or whatever is irrelevant.


This.


My son has Aspergers and he is VERY affectionate. Some can be.


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sly279
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10 Jun 2015, 10:14 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
My suggestion would be to find out if the guy in question like hugs and kisses, and go from there. I have AS, and I'm very physical. The stereotype of aspies not liking hugs and kisses isn't taken out of thin air, but it's also not universal. Also, distinguish between displays of affection when you're alone together, and when in public.


yep. this

most women aspies are against hugs kisses and touching too, yet you're not. I'm not either as a male aspie. I crave it. which makes never getting it worse.



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10 Jun 2015, 11:41 pm

I hug people I'm friendly with, but only kiss the people I truly love.



Kaufmancab51
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27 Jun 2015, 11:32 pm

Ask them!

The best way (IMO) to know whether or not a male with asperger's is comfortable with hugs and kisses is to just ask!


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izzeme
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29 Jun 2015, 3:02 am

I am very touchy-feely with those i trust and am attracted to.
I will not tolerate touch from just about anyone (regardless of who initiated), but i love few things more then touching/hugging/cuddling those whom i have an emotional bond with (primarily, a girlfriend).

Your mother has a good point about an ASD guy understanding you, i recommend you don't blow them off this easily, there's no harm in going on a date and finding out if this guy likes touching a loved one.



TheNameless
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29 Jun 2015, 8:47 am

Neither my husband or I are affectionate with others but we are very tactile with one another. Not liking affection from outsiders does not mean you do not wish it from a person you are romantically involved with.