Afraid of causing myself an aneurysm

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Today I got really stressed out and angry with my mom and I didn't know what to say to get her to go away. She kept nagging me really hard about cleaning boxes out of my room and wouldn't go away and I started to rage like I sometimes do where I just scream in my head, grit my teeth really hard and basically somehow increase the pressure in my head really really hard and see these little white flashy things all around my vision for a few seconds. It's kind of scary, is this dangerous. Sometimes I just don't know what to do to get her to go away when she wants to be in a certain kind of mood and I can't always handle the emotions. I also started hitting myself in the legs really hard. I usually don't lose my temper like that but sometimes she just needs to push really hard on things that don't matter when I'm already in a bad mood

Im sorry to hear that you are having this problem - its so frustrating & scary, i know.

Perhaps you could find a time when you are both calm to explain to her that the way that she is approaching certain topics is causing you to panic and stim. You could suggest that it may be easier for both of you (and you will be more able to do as she asks) if she tries a different approach. Sometimes I have better luck being able to do what someone else asks if they write down their request instead of saying it. This helps me because I don't like talking to people if I can avoid it (reading takes less energy) and also I can more easily remember the request when I am ready to do what is asked.

Good luck with resolving this & don't worry about having an aneurysm if your health is good. Many people who experience panic say they feel like they are having a heart attack, This sensation is just part of the fight or flight response. Try to calm yourself with deep breaths when this happens.

Your situation is hard and I'm sorry you are experiencing it, but the chances of you actually causing yourself an aneurysm are almost zero.