can people with autism live independently?

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can people with autism live independently and have successful lives ( friends, girlfriend,good job,nice house,nice car etc)?
I have aspergers syndrome and I dont see how Im ever going to have a success life. I havent had a proper relationship before and I find it hard to make friends. because of my asd I cant get a job since most jobs require good communication skills. I am probably going to be one of those people that still lives in there parents basement when they are 45. Ill probably never get married,I wont have children and i probably wont be able to get a good job. Ill probably die alone and no one will give a f*ck about me. I hate my life and I hate the fact that my future is ruined and that all my hopes and dreams are ruined. my life is not worth living...

Never fear I'm on the spectrum and live on my own and have a steady job actually 3rd in the chain of command getting hands on training with the manager that wants me to officially become one of the assistant managers

And I was in a stable relationship for 4 years but left him due to his drinking saddly and we have been talking bout getting back together

Life has not been easy but I'm very independent

Though I am on the mild end

We have members here are autistic and who have done all of those things so the answer is yes. But there are caveats. The severity of ones autism is one factor, the type of people the autistic is surrounded by is a big deal do they accept the person or do they view the autistic as diseased burden, ret*d?, and how does the autistic view thier autism? The first cavaet is beyond our control, the second is beyond our control until we are in our late teens then we can control it but it can be quite difficult if we don't have money, the third caveat is totally within our control.

I think trying get all these things may be too much to think about and do at once, so maybe one or two goals at a time is the way to go about it. Also you need to define success not as what everybody else thinks is success is getting what you really want. If you follow those suggestions it will be difficult but you may find yourself in a lot better place then you think possible right now.

I live independently with help, I have my own apartment and pay my own bills but I live off disability and my parents transport me places as I have no car. I ride the bus too, I would say I function about like a 6 on a scale to 1 to 10. Holding down a job is hard for me cause I have sereve communication problems, I can do the work to a degree but without fail, a few weeks into a new job and co-workers, customers, managers all say I have been rude, crude, threaten, etc. I am genuinely confused as to how I put off that image as I have been disowned from colleges, jobs, churchs, etc for this behavior and whats weird is I always have one or two friends from these places that say I did nothing wrong. I am confused, if I could solve this one problem in my life, I really wouldn't even consider myself disabled. The only thing I can think of, is I must come across as borderline threatening for some people to defend me in these situations.

Either that or I have just had a lot of bad experiences and I have done nothing wrong, which I doubt actually cause if the majority of people perceive you one way, there is probably some truth to it.

Many Aspies manage to do very well for themselves and even to raise great families of their own. I can live semi independently but I have never succeeded to live fully independently. My main issue is I can't hold a job. But I can live in the house by myself. I actually prefer that. I am married and love my husband but sometimes his presence can be overwhelming to me. Sometimes I have difficulty with paying bills and stuff and eating and doing chores when I am overwhelmed but I can manage to do them enough to be able to live alone. But I do need financial support.

Many autistics do live independently, earning their own keep. Many are married and have children. The "Parenting" forum here on WP has a lot of autistic parents, parenting autistic children. Or occasionally autistic parents with NT children, which is generally more confusing.

Others live semi-independently, with help. I'm in this second category. I'm on disability so I can eat and pay for rent, and I have an aide who visits weekly to help with instrumental ADLs (for example shopping, paperwork, that kind of thing). I'm also going to college, because I'm much better at learning academic subjects than you'd expect from my independent-living skills, which are... patchy at best.

Some autistics have live-in help, whether in group homes, on their own with a daily aide, or with family like parents or a spouse. (Yes, spouse. There are severely autistic people who have fallen in love and gotten married; don't be surprised, love isn't limited to NTs.) These people need help with a lot of things, but many of them still make their own decisions.

So... your answer is: It depends on the person; but whatever your level of independence turns out to be, you can end up with a high level of self-determination--that is, making those decisions you are capable of making.

I'd like to point out that your idea of "success" is very much the typical idea of success--money, a hot spouse, kids, a good job, popularity, etc. Do yourself a favor: Challenge that. Yes, that is society's rule about what you are "supposed" to want, but you don't have to obey that rule; in fact, it's not really a rule at all. People are happy in many different kinds of lives, rich or poor, married or single, with all kinds of jobs or none at all.

You should not be trying for the stereotypical "successful life", but for your own ideal existence, your own happiness and fulfilled potential. It is who you are and what you want that determines that, not the rest of the world. If you do end up living with your parents, and you are happy that way--then that can be your ideal existence (but do remind them to plan for what will happen as they age--you will want to hire an aide to do the jobs they may not be able to do when they get older).

The most important parts of life are not the material things. Happiness comes from being able to pursue your goals, from doing things that you feel are important and purposeful. It comes from being able to be yourself. My happiness comes from making blankets for foster children and keeping a database of autistic homicide victims so that no one will forget them; it comes from going to the library and learning new things, from going to the lab and watching a rat learn how long fifteen seconds is. Happiness is a purring cat on my pillow and the quiet of deep night under my weighted blanket. There are always difficulties, but all in all, those things make life worth it.

I am not rich, I do not have a spouse, I do not have a job, but I do have purpose and I make my own decisions. Those are the important things. Do not let the world tell you what you should want.

I've earned degrees, held down jobs, got married, raised a family, and except for a very dark time in the late 1980s, I am generally satisfied with my life!

I really like what Callista is saying about defining success for yourself and not falling into the trap of trying to live up to the success standards of other people. That is a really excellent point. And Fnord, as an Autistic person you have not only raised a family but your children are beginning to raise their own families as well. That shows that Autistics can do very well in family life as well as academically and in the job world. But each individual, just like for NT's or anyone else, has to know his or her own self and decide if he is able to raise a family or if she can do a traditional job. I know that I cannot raise a family and I have never been able to keep a traditional job. But it really depends on you and what your body and brain can manage.

I don't see why not. With Asperger's, the deficits are in social things, not in self-help/independent living skills. In fact, no self-help deficits is a prerequisite for being eiagnosed with Asperger's.

Considering that Aspies are supposed to be extreme systemizers, I'd even say they'd be more skilled than neurotypicals at things like paying the bills, paying taxes, following maps, etc.

Yes, I think a great many people whom are on the spectrum have the capability to live independently. as it's a matter of how well your able to not only navigate the social difficulties but, manage to overcome the many other obstacles. Personally I have been on my own for 24 years though I,ve not had the so-called dream job or have been married nor had any long term relationship. Still I keep trying regardless.

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