The ironies of life
Lissa, thank you for your kind words.
You know those people who decide to do things, make grand dramatic statements, full of good intentions, know that they can easily just walk away from their obsessions - oh yes, easy peasy, piece of cake? They've just got to know when they're beat, that's all. Of course, I could leave anytime, oh yes, definitely. But this morning...someone's pinched my car keys! And I've got a flat tyre. Thelma says she can't go this weekend after all...maybe next weekend. Yes, that's it, next weekend. Probably. Not.
I find I'm just not strong enough to kill this obsession. There has to be a way of finding a balance, between the obsession and other things we need to do. Walking away from it ~ it's not possible, I've discovered anyway. I simply cannot do it. It just makes the obsession stronger. Arrrggg (primal scream) What to do, what to do? Thinking.
mmm it gets addictive but i just got fed up with it and went out for a day or so and stayed out for a while. later at home i was online, which was scary (MUST STAY AWAY FROM WP), but i was not tempted to look in here. in fact i had a repulsion for the place. it worked. you CAN leave! and come back! YOU ARE IN CONTROL. think repulsion (the opposite of attraction).
try it.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
Yeah. I used to love going to coffee shops.
But unique ones, where I could just mellow
out and smoke, and maybe meet people -
but at least watch them.
Starbucks, like so many other things in this
era, seems to be a canned experience, nothing
like what I was used to. I miss being in a place
where punk music was playing, and the young
skaters and goths could play with us older folk.
I have no real interest in hanging out where there
are only yuppies and students working on their
laptops.
I have such a black or white brain. I joined and was obsessed with this place for a few months, then my life changed and I didn't log on for at least 6 months - not even once.
Then things changed, I looked in here on a whim, and came back. Don't understand it.
I have so many things to do, I no longer have the leisure of hanging out like I used to.
I do have free time, however, and now I have to decide between here and the stack of awesome books I just picked up at my university library.
But back to the black/white thing - I think that's part of it for some of us. If we're here, we want to be here, be involved, know what's going on, see if somebody replied to our thoughtful post, see if a certain someone is still really depressed, if two other people are really making it in cyberspace, etc. I would say that as part of our AS there's a certain tendency to perseverate, and not to be too hard on ourselves when we do. If something REALLY needs to get done, you'll do it, right?
So my trick is to allow myself parameters if my schedule is tight. For instance, before I log on in the morning at say, 7 something, that I need to be off at 9am. I have a clock on my screen, so when it's 9, I log off. It works for me.
If I could go down to the local Starbucks and get the same thing, I would be there, too.
Merle
agreed.
In 2010 I will have much less financial burden and would like to travel (never been overseas). I was thinking I would like to stop over in Hawaii for a vodka (bloody mary), drop in by Oregon for a latte on the way to Alberta (I have a friend with family there who say they will take me hunting ), go to NYC for a long macciato, NC for an "ice pick" and a beer, swing by Arizona and Texas and maybe go on to the UK?
Still a few mystery stops yet to work out
_________________
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
I came up with a new drink the other day, "Aylissa's Paradise Special": Vodka, rainwater and raspberries.
You might like it
and your boys might like my girls
An acquaintance (was a client) married an American from Pennsylvania (hope I spelled it correctly) and they just moved to NC. She made me an "Ice Pick" which was raspberry vodka and iced tea. Very yummy.
_________________
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
Then things changed, I looked in here on a whim, and came back. Don't understand it.
I have so many things to do, I no longer have the leisure of hanging out like I used to.
I do have free time, however, and now I have to decide between here and the stack of awesome books I just picked up at my university library.
But back to the black/white thing - I think that's part of it for some of us. If we're here, we want to be here, be involved, know what's going on, see if somebody replied to our thoughtful post, see if a certain someone is still really depressed, if two other people are really making it in cyberspace, etc. I would say that as part of our AS there's a certain tendency to perseverate, and not to be too hard on ourselves when we do. If something REALLY needs to get done, you'll do it, right?
I understand what you mean about the black/white thinking. I've been thinking about it and realized that it's not WP as a website that I'm 'attached to', it's the people, the community. Aha! So why would there be a problem with that? I feel it might be an AS thing. To want to belong, yet I find it an uncomfortable feeling, 'belonging'. It's strange and I don't fully understand it. Another irony.
I think if one tries to run away from the obsession, then it just becomes stronger. Plus why leave somewhere you enjoy being. It is black and white; either/or. So I'm going to try and stay somewhere in the area in the middle, if I can find that spot, and try the time-limiting.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
That's alright, Starr, eventually someone will not respond to you or not in the way you wanted and you can go through a feeling of not belonging and be irritated about that too!
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
If I do (make it to Alberta) and you and I are still obsessed with WP, I'll meet you somewhere for a bloody Caesar
_________________
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
Strewth!
2010, you say?
A tour around the world meeting aspies is a fabulous idea.
I should warn you that, although I welcome anybody to visit me here in paradise, I am a crappy tour guide. I will spend the entire day in the house if I feel like it, even if a visitor is dying to go to the beach. Or I'll think hiking 10 miles to see lava flowing is a much better way to spend the day than going tourist shopping.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
No one's life is a failure. |
02 Mar 2024, 4:35 pm |
destroyed your life |
Yesterday, 10:53 am |
Adhd is ruining my life
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
28 Mar 2024, 5:02 pm |
My everyday life experience |
04 Mar 2024, 10:13 am |