Anyone Else Have Trouble Understanding Verbal Instructions?
Obscurelex
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 19 Apr 2019
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 60
Location: Hell
For as long as I can remember, I've always had difficulties understanding verbal directions/instructions by people. If I have it on paper, I could understand and most likely execute the task. But given verbally, it's strenuous to follow. One example is today I was outside with my mom doing yard work and she was telling me how to hold this tape measuring tool a certain way. The way she was instructing me was difficult for me to understand. She was getting irritated with me, which made it harder for me to follow the instructions. Another example is when my manager was telling me where something was in the pharmacy, and when he tried to explain it to me, I was having a hard time following. "No, it's around that corner, to the left." My eyes were everywhere, and I panicked. I felt like a complete idiot.
I guess this is the best way I can explain this. But does anyone else have the same troubles receiving verbal instructions and understanding them?
JSBACH
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 4 Aug 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 68
Location: Western Europe
Yeah. This is really recognisable.
If it is really important (doctor's appointment, hospital visit), I also bring my mother with me as a verbal backup, both for speaking and receiving spoken language.
My main coping strategy is recording audio. (Keep in mind applicable laws)
If I'm having an appointment where I have to rely on verbal communication, I write things down I need to say in advance, and take notes during conversion.
Often when I listen back to a recording, I'm baffled at what is said. There are really things I swear I haven't heard during conversion!
(And my memory is fine otherwise)
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Yes, this happens a lot to me too. My boss says something similar and I look in the wrong direction 2 or 3 times before he's specific enough that I find it. Other bosses have done the same, so I assume vague directions are obvious to everyone but me. It still embarrasses me.
For multi-part instructions, writing it down is key.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,931
Location: the island of defective toy santas
Depends on how complicated they are. Very simple orders with only one step cause no trouble as long as I am physically able to handle them (no, I am not taking the big vacuum cleaner from the first floor to the second. Way too dangerous with my weak and clumsy body!) However, if the order has many parts, it can get difficult. Two or three parts I can usually handle, especially if they're very similiar, like me needing to get certain three different ingredients from the fridge (assuming I find them of course), but if my mom were to say a lot of things she wants me to do during the day, like prepare the lunch, clean the lobby, trim the flower benches, feed the cats, fold the laundry, I'd be a little whoos what? Those are all things I can do, but if the list is this long I'll be sure to forget something if it's not written down since I can't do it all at once. Also, there's the matter of being specific. How well does she want me to clean the lobby? Organize it better, wash it or both? When does the lunch need to be ready? I can handle all this at home (minus feeding the cats since I don't have cats) since I can do it at my own pace and my own way, but it's harder at my parents' house. Fortunately, mom seems to have finally learned that I have trouble handling various things at once and tends to give me one order at time.
The biggest problem comes if people aren't specific enough, though. Like the clean the lobby thing; how thoroughly do I need to clean it? Or if mom tells me to set the table, I need to ask her to be more specific, like if she wants me to put only the untensils on the table or should I start taking out the drinks and such from the fridge, too.
Preparing for a party at my parents' house is the absolute worst, though. They want my help and I want to help, but since I tend to not get specific instructions, they end up not liking the way I've done things... bah, if it's so important how the napkins are folded and what kind of pile the plates are in they should either just give me very specific directions or do it themselves. But if they do it themselves then everyone will complain about me not doing anything... why would I bother when my sisters tend to destroy all the process I've made since it's not done their way and then go and do it themselves.
We actually have a big party coming up two weeks from now since the youngest of us is graduating and this time I'm gonna make sure to keep my foot down: if my sisters start to boss me around on some task, I will abandon it immediately and tell them to do it since they know so much better. Doing this enough times should make them consider their words and actions twice sooner or later.
Ooh. I can relate to that. (Yikes! I am not supposed to be relating to so many things!)
I mean. I find that if there are a lot of instructions given I will either concentrate on the first and come back to ask about the second and so on. I often need to write things down. But this is my way of multi-tasking.... One thing at a time.
Today was amusing. My mum had the last of her money in coins and I had about three pounds left also in small change. Now I thought "Just enough for a rissole and chips (Small portion of chips which is actually enough for me... USA people may struggle to know what I'm talking about! Trust me. They are nice!). Now I was counting the coins as the small portion of chips with the rissole came to £2.70. While I was counting the lady was asking if I wanted salf and vinegar. It really threw me off trying to think of that and count at the same time! The lady said "Men can't do multi-tasking"... I am not sure if she fancies me. I have no idea if she is being very nice or if she fancies me. She is a nice lady.
Anyway. I am getting concerned how I keep finding things in which I can identify with. I mean... I don't really know what to say. Is a bit of a shock. Is like "How come so many people have the same aspects to their character?" I thought I was rather unique... but now I'm feeling almost ordinary.
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Yes, I can struggle with this, though it varies a lot according to the environment and the patience of the person giving the instructions. If the person just keeps going with extra steps when I need to clarify an earlier one, I get lost very quickly - the new instruction won't go in until I'm sure I've understood previous ones. If the environment is noisy, or I'm a bit shut-down, just processing their language at the required speed can be too difficult too. I find that writing it down not only helps my concentration, but also encourages the other person to slow down a bit - it makes it more obvious to them that I'm processing something if they can see my pen scribbling away.
The "aha" moments are something you get used to after a while. Most people we're surrounded by, even the professionals, can only see what's plain from the outside, and only the effects, not the causes. Most only observe us in a limited range of situations, too. But here, you're among people who see autism every day and in every kind of situation from the inside. You're discovering people who you can empathise with and who empathise with you; and with time, you'll come to appreciate the "aha" moments (I still have them even after years as a WP member.)
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When you are fighting an invisible monster, first throw a bucket of paint over it.
Thanks Trogluddite for the reply. For me I basically came on this site to ask questions where I knew very little as it was about the energy loss I wanted to try to trace, and to cut a long story short, I thought I only had slight traces of autism (As in not being on the spectrum) and I am finding that I may be on the spectrum. Mind you, I am on the list to be checked, but I asked to be on the list as I am trying to sort my life out and others have said they thought I had asperges. It took me two to three years to ask a doctor about it.
Is a bit of a shock to find I may have it with traits I didn't know related to autism. Other then what I describe as energy loss, but could be called something else completely, oh... And faceblindness... I didn't think I had any other issues, but learning now through threads like this is a bit of an eye opener. Though, don't those who are not on the spectrum get the same things? It is as if I can relate to both worlds so much that everyone is normal to me if that makes sense? Lets say after the wait I am diagnosed. I am almost concerned to learn more incase I move into a situation where I think that I am autistic and everyone else out there who is not is different. While in the past I disn't even think about it. I just knew I was different and put this down to my individual character, as I was brought up to be an individual. (If I am on the spectrum I guarantee that my Mum is as well. I am not sure about one brother who is three years younger, but my brother who is 18 years younger is not. He is completely different. Very sociable. Wants to be around people etc).
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