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bigboff
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22 Apr 2010, 4:21 am

these are brilliant because i hate it when other make fun of our problems but these jokes make us laugh and we cna get away with them like blakc people can tell jokes about black people like we can tell autisitc jokes and they make me smile thnakls all of you because its great we have jokes that only we as community have



CockneyRebel
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22 Apr 2010, 5:12 am

This big guy in that picture is an aspie.

How do you know?

Look at the eyes!

Wow! He's really looking out the corners of his eyes. It's almost like he's avoiding eye contact, with the photographer.

I thought my eye contact was bad.

Image Mick avoiding eye contact.


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Henriksson
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22 Apr 2010, 7:44 am

My big sister was visiting one day, and we were talking about health. I was the only one in the house not sick at that particular moment.

Sister: "Except you've got Asperger's Syndrome, so you're sick all the time."
Me: "..."
Sister: "It's OK! I've got ADHD, so I'm sick too."


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wendigopsychosis
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22 Apr 2010, 9:05 am

I'm terrible at coming up with jokes, but my variation of the light bulb classic:

- How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb?
- Just one, but it takes him three months to read up on electrical engineering first to make sure he's prepared.

Another corny on-the-spot joke:

- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Orange!
- That's an odd name, were your parents hippies? Orange who?
- Orange you glad to see me?
- No, because you still haven't told me your last name!

(Sorry, I told you I was terrible with jokes ;))

Also, I know misspelling Asperger's is a soft spot for some people, but I find it a very endearing pet name. And you can't deny it's an awkward sounding word, so I like to make the most of it.
One of my friends and I were talking about how awkward sounding it is, so I photoshopped a logo for my (joking) future fast food chain:
Image
:D


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pat2rome
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22 Apr 2010, 10:07 am

Hahahahaha, I am definitely saving that picture.


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Asp-Z
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22 Apr 2010, 11:17 am

How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and one to research the history of light bulbs, all the different makes, how they work...

---

What do you call an Aspie sitting on a volcano?

Why would you even ask that question? That situation is very stupid and illogical.



MONKEY
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22 Apr 2010, 1:31 pm

Did you know that if you counted up all the pies bought at football matches every weekend in the UK, the chances are...
You're autistic.

An unfortunate sequence of events occurred, when the guests were asked to toast the happy couple at the Aspergers society wedding event.
Luckily the emergency services were promptly in attendance..

Autistic kids rock.

I got these jokes off sickipedia. Some jokes I couldn't put on here because they're rude.


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JCpatriots
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22 Apr 2010, 10:59 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change the bulb and one to research the history of light bulbs, all the different makes, how they work...

---

What do you call an Aspie sitting on a volcano?

Why would you even ask that question? That situation is very stupid and illogical.



Ahahaha, I loved these jokes. :lol:



Followthereaper90
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23 Apr 2010, 11:52 am

wendigopsychosis wrote:
I know misspelling Asperger's is a soft spot for some people, but I find it a very endearing pet name. And you can't deny it's an awkward sounding word, so I like to make the most of it.
One of my friends and I were talking about how awkward sounding it is, so I photoshopped a logo for my (joking) future fast food chain:
Image
:D
omg ...i so want [ to post someting ....img]http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/3/24/633734755725510360-assburger.jpg[/img]


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pat2rome
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23 Apr 2010, 11:55 am

I love the jokes with the Asperger answers; they crack me up.


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wendigopsychosis
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23 Apr 2010, 5:58 pm

MONKEY wrote:
Autistic kids rock.


Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha- that took me a second...
I want that on a t-shirt! Or maybe a bumpersticker for my car.
The only problem is I bet I would offend a lot of people who'd have no idea I'm autistic (I apparently "don't look the part," whatever "the part" looks like), and think I was just making fun of autistic children...

EDIT: Since I made the "ass burgers" logo, I thought I'd make a t-shirt design for this one too ;)
Image


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Bluefins
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23 Apr 2010, 6:45 pm

About assburgers - you know what the ass on a pig is called?
Ham.

Quote:
Sedaka: Man leaves his cabin to go bear hunting. He starts out by heading due north, then goes due west where he finds and kills a bear. He then heads due east back to his cabin.

What color is the bear?

White.... He killed a polar bear cause he's at the north pole.

JustMax: You can't go north from the north pole...

TallyMan: Yes, for the joke to work he would need to go due south, then east then north and be back where he started. Or South, then west then north.

Lau: No. The wording is only slightly off. The deduction is correct - that the bear is white. The elaboration, that the hunter was AT the north pole, is inaccurate. It should say that he was NEAR the north pole.

In fact, he was at any distance of the form A/2+B/((2n+1)π) from the pole, where A is the distance he travelled in a straight line after setting off due north, B is the distance he travelled always due eastwards and n is the number of times he passed his cabin before stopping.

You can also throw in a few circumnavigations of the globe, through both poles... but that would be rather unlikely.



danmac
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24 Apr 2010, 12:27 pm

how many aspees does it take to cross the road?
what
what do you mean
I meant light bulb
no bulbs don,t cross roads
I was saying.......
just shut up


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kreb1958
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25 Apr 2010, 6:34 am

How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to actually change the light bulb, another to record its make and serial number to his record, and a third who names the old bulb and adds it to his collection in neat rows!



MONKEY
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25 Apr 2010, 7:07 am

I wonder how many variations of the light bulb joke we can cram into this thread?


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