‘Love on the Spectrum’ Netflix show
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,904
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Yep. True on both counts.
One way in which the episodes produced in the US were better was that the producers seemed less beholden to the idea that autistics are the best match for other autistics.
Agreed. I know this is very much wishful thinking, but it would be really awesome if someday ABC did a season of "The Bachelor" with a guy on the spectrum.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
An extrovert is fantastic at getting the confidence out of the more introvert types. It's a night and day difference with me. If I'm around someone who just doesn't seem to open up, then neither will I.
Confidence seems to be contagious, be it plenty of or a severe lack of. At my age, dating someone who still won't open up when their 30+ is just a massive step backwards and will undo a lot of the effort I made to overcome my own problems. I imagine it'll be the same for others.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
Agreed. I know this is very much wishful thinking, but it would be really awesome if someday ABC did a season of "The Bachelor" with a guy on the spectrum.
Well they did one with a guy in his 70s so why not?
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
That can happen. The other scenario is that, the woman finds the guy attractive, and basically just has sex with him. He's perfectly happy because of the constantly available, drama free sex, but at the same time he does nothing to work on the relationship because everything's fine. Then one day the woman meets someone else she thinks is just as hot and the first (autistic) guy never knew what hit him. An NT woman, even if she started having sex right away, (more likely than not in my experience) is going to insist on talking about the relationship sooner rather than later, and will be better motivated to make the relationship work.
I should say sometimes the relationship just works. There's one woman on WP who told an autistic guy in her day program she wanted sex, and 7 years or so they're still together and getting married. But it's not typical.
^ What makes you think that autistic women and NT women are that different from each other in the way you’re suggesting?
It seems like most women on WP want fulfilling, romantic relationships (i.e. “love”) and are motivated to make them work. Not many solely want sex with random people, probably not more than the general population.
_________________
Exit, pursued by a bear. – stage direction from Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
This very much reminds me of Tony Attwood's concept of "social secretaries" where the more extroverted NT partner plans most of the autistic partner's social outings.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,904
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
That had been my experience too.
Case 1
Me: Hi
She: Hi
Me: How are you?
She: Good
Me: …Ok.
Case 2
Me: Hi
She: Hellooooo been a while eh? Come sit have a coffee with me. Let’s catch up!
Surely the case 2 is gonna win.
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
That had been my experience too.
Case 1
Me: Hi
She: Hi
Me: How are you?
She: Good
Me: …Ok.
Case 2
Me: Hi
She: Hellooooo been a while eh? Come sit have a coffee with me. Let’s catch up!
Surely the case 2 is gonna win.
They do pretty much every time.
All autistic guys really want while dating is a woman who's easy to talk to, approachable, and will give them a fair chance of ending up in bed if all goes well. Even 10 out of 10 cheerleaders offers better prospects than a shy introverts who don't want to change.
The easiest jump to last base I ever had happened in minutes with someone who was gorgeous and she spent the rest of the time talking about the best McDonalds burgers. She was great and I still bump into her. Got to keep her bra as a trophy too.
If they have an approachable personality then they're just decent people, looks completely aside.
^ I didn’t realize that all autistic guys thought the same. I’m surprised that any expressed interest in me then. All this talk about being outgoing and personable is making me think about my childhood role models. I was just a little girl with big dreams.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFS-fWHTdA0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TAGtY1SsfU
_________________
Exit, pursued by a bear. – stage direction from Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale
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