differences between boys and girls with autism
Yeah, because Aspie women/girls get so much attention - no one ever focuses on the Aspie guys...
Sometimes I get really sick of how the guys on this forum b***h and complain about how the women here have it so much better. What a bunch of bull. Men are allowed to act like teenagers at pretty much any age and most people just find it endearing. Women over college age, on the other hand are seen as social pariahs if they don't magically morph into mature social sophisticates or motherly types by a certain age. I watched as the female friends I had growing up changed into mommies while I still felt like a 12 year old boy, that's when I really knew something wasn't "normal" about me.
Everything I've been able to find about Asperger's has focused on males. It's like finding the holy grail to actually read something that talks about females with AS and how it affects them
If you ask me, it's about damn time someone started to focus on us.
I agree wholeheartedly. But first I have to say the 10:1 or 4:1 gender ratio is a big bunch of BS. I've been to autism functions where its 50/50 or even 60% females/ 40% males. I find this upsetting because even at meetings when the gals outnumber the guys the focus is ALWAYS, ALWAYS on young MALE Aspies. Nobody ever worries about the female Aspies over the age of say 10 and what problems we may be encountering. Even the few AS schools and living centers are all for guys only. Meanwhile the females are left to suffer in poverty, abuse, loneliness, ill health all of their lives. We are even expected as AS women to behave normal like an NT while AS & NT guys alike are allowed to act like children their entire life.
richardbenson
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
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maybe more women go to the meetings because there more social? i know i dont go because im embarresed and unsocial.
living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.
_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
Me too. But I still want a boyfriend. And then there's the dance perseveration, which doesn't help matters any.
So I need to find a guy that I'm attracted to, who doesn't bore me stupid, AND isn't driven away by my aspie-ness, AND who partner dances.
This is why I'm single.
Oh yeah rape and abuse are just so wonderful for us Aspie females. And we don't even have to ask for it; we just get it! ( Just an FYI the average Aspie female does not have normal relationships.)
living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.
There's a home for males in Camp Verde. And many low spectrum autistic males have caregivers through the Flag Hozhoni program or however you spell it. There is a school for autie boys in like Mesa or Tempe too.
All of the males that show up at the meetings are embarrassed and unsocial. One guy even sit and cried cause someone bumped his chair. The females are similarly unsocial and vary from silent as mice (me) to won't shut up. I'm not sure I would call the can't shut themselves up as social, rather more like social failures. Most of the guys you have to poke them to see if they're still alive. But at least they show up.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.
There's a home for males in Camp Verde. And many low spectrum autistic males have caregivers through the Flag Hozhoni program or however you spell it. There is a school for autie boys in like Mesa or Tempe too.
All of the males that show up at the meetings are embarrassed and unsocial. One guy even sit and cried cause someone bumped his chair. The females are similarly unsocial and vary from silent as mice (me) to won't shut up. I'm not sure I would call the can't shut themselves up as social, rather more like social failures. Most of the guys you have to poke them to see if they're still alive. But at least they show up.
_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
Oh yeah rape and abuse are just so wonderful for us Aspie females. And we don't even have to ask for it; we just get it! ( Just an FYI the average Aspie female does not have normal relationships.)
Male; despite efforts against anxiety ...no girlfriends PLUS I've been raped numerous times. its not 'oneupsmanship' just a point that 'we' can be screwed over in that way with our gender-specific problems to boot. ....I landed in the shallowend of the fourtune pool.
It's not like AS guys don't get abused, too. There are downright evil women who will take advantage of an AS man in a heartbeat. This stereotype of men as abusers is just plain invalid. Either gender can be the aggressor; the only difference tends to be that abusive women will try to humiliate, dominate, or belittle their targets more often, and men will get physical more often.
The societal expectations are different. Men can be "immature" for longer, but women aren't expected to be assertive and independent. Either way, there are drawbacks.
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as far as girls having an easier time... well, no. I got beat up on at home and at school. the only relationships I had were with older men who wanted sex. when I did get married it was to someone who seemed fairly desperate and I "settled", thinking I wouldn't do any better, and at that point I really did want to be married. it sucked though, because he expected me to be subservient and "female" without notifying me in advance of the requirement. he also displayed (and still does) severe narcissistic traits, if not NPD (haven't managed to get him diagnosed yet).
my second marriage is to a guy with AS who is much younger than I am. IMO he was lucky to stay out of "relationships" when he was younger because he avoided the emotional damage I endured. maybe he was lonely, but so was I, even though there seemed to be plenty of men willing to have sex with me. they just didn't actually want to have sex with ME, they just wanted to have sex.
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