How do any of you ladies handle with getting older?

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catpiecakebutter
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12 Jul 2023, 11:59 pm

I'm turning 40 in 8 months which isn't exactly tomorrow or week. But I feel like I'm a young girl sometimes trapped in a nearly middle aged body. If you guys can picture the movie 13 going on 30, the older movie Big or Freaky Friday (I'm feel like I'm various ages going on 40.) Anyway, I feel sometimes my goals about getting a job haven't worked out well. I didn't finish high school properly, never went to college, (I don't think I can do any more education because I can't understand things that are at a complex level, and I don't see too many friends in person often. My closest friend is over 21 years old than me and I have low self esteem issues. How do any of you ladies handle getting older knowing you have regrets?



IsabellaLinton
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13 Jul 2023, 12:29 am

It looks like this was cross-posted with General.

I'm older than you are. How do I handle it? There's nothing to handle afaik. Knowing I have regrets? What makes you think we all have regrets? I don't have any regrets despite living through a lot of horrible violence and trauma. I've lived my life authentically being the person I really am. If other people couldn't handle that sometimes, that's their problem. I'm referring to people who caused my trauma starting when I was just a toddler. I have no other regrets although I wish I had more kittens in the past, instead of denying myself things I loved.


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traven
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13 Jul 2023, 1:00 am

children growing up to middle/high schoolers, i'd investigate getting a little business from garden-produce
no that can't happen here, the produce-administration said, go on a course, and i did
funny that going back to school, i could not hold a pen in my hand for that long,
& i didn't want to invest in goat-cheese farming and then going to sell it yourself as well,
so it had to be sheep,
agricultural- politics - is next - (i even got blacklisted imho for saying i didn't buy industrial animal-food, never saw a rep again-wow)
for land; do much pioneering and upkeep, green maintenance for ruined orchards, mostly
and the human condition / the difficult part/ you can't win, there's always more trouble
--very interesting and busy times,
but also the strange resistance of old retired guys and too energetic early retired guys, they got very territorial with all this- :mrgreen: :skull: -suddenly they're all policing for the gov, in their minds



deannatrois
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23 Jul 2023, 12:53 pm

I am not too far off pensionable age. Growing older is causing some problems due to a combination of issues. I have kind of worn myself out and unfortunately have some physical conditions that affect day to day abilities.

My big issues right now (I have others) are due to a lack of NHS dentists, I got gingivitis, most of my upper jaw is gone and I need my teeth removing. Dentist couldn't cope with my panicked reaction (and anger at the neglect that led to gingivitis going so far) so I have no idea what will happen now. I do know I can't cope with the idea of having all my teeth removed (I am diabetic so how do I eat whilst waiting for everyone's dream - dentures). No questions answered so I am unable to plan to do anything.

I also have lung problems, rh arthritis, and IBS which makes life challenging at times.

I've become a bit of a hermit, and decided to find out more about autism, try and interact with ND people (joined this site) and also found a lot of Youtube videos (like the Inside Autism stuff). Bit upsetting because the things discussed bring up past issues.

I also have masses of regrets. Almost estranged from my older autistic son. He has a gf who has decided I am abusive for her own purposes (honestly). I had an upbringing where I was told I was useless and wrong constantly so tried very very hard to be supportive for my two sons. With limited success it seems in spite of really trying so hard. The things you did extremely well at don't seem to mean much lol. But I know life is like that. I did get involved with two long term bad relationships so that definitely didn't help. But little to be proud of really.

So feeling a dreadful failure at just about everything. I was unable to hold a job down when younger, can't cope with people very well. So there's not a lot on the 'pro's' side to reasons for my existence. But I am still keeping going. I know I shouldn't be so ashamed, shouldn't hate myself, but its hard to be positive.

So not finding getting older very pleasant lol. Still have my ironic sense of humour though, I apologise for being whiney. Trying to find positivism through all the stuff I have written in spite of the way I've made it sound.

In spite of all the 'I's in this post, I am aware that this is a common experience and I am by no means unique. Just trying to find ways to adjust and live with fewer 'failure' memories coming up so often. Not sure how I do that, right now, but trying to find a way.



bee33
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27 Jul 2023, 4:15 am

Except for a terrible disappointment I've suffered in the past year that has really upended my life and caused me great pain, I think that in general getting older is much better than being younger. I am more comfortable in the world, because it has changed with me, so it makes much more sense now than when, as a newly hatched person, I was thrown into a world that preceded me and that I didn't understand (not that I understand everything now, but most of how things work now makes at least some sense to me).

I am more tolerant of other people's flaws and mistakes. I can take things in stride better. I am more accepting, both of other people and of the random things that can happen, because I know now that unexpected things can happen, and that it does no good to rail against them but it's better to accept that the world is as it is, unpredictable and sometimes sucky.

I am better at not passing judgment and recognizing that people are who they are, and that I'm not going to be changing them, and also that some things I don't like or think are wrong are actually fine, in that they exist, and I don't have to concern myself with judging them or shaking my fist at them. (I'm still angry, sad, frustrated, etc, but not as intensely and not as often.)

My health is worse. My ability to do things has diminished. But I'm also better at accepting those facts.

As far as looks, I've never been pretty, so I am not worried about losing my youthful looks, since I never had them.



Caz72
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27 Jul 2023, 4:56 pm

i do worry about losing my beauty but even now at 51 im already got wrinkles but being a alcolic for 10 years + taking drugs might have aged me now but i always wear make up to hide all that
the picture of me in my avatar is a recent photo


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jul 2023, 5:07 pm

I'm so beautiful it doesn't matter how old I am.
My beauty will fascinate men until the end of time.


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Caz72
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27 Jul 2023, 5:11 pm

im not one to say everyone loses their beauty after age 30 or 40 or whatever and no being old doesnt mean ugly but just how i feel i like to look younger and not see wrinkles when i look in the mirror but i dont have a problem with other women who age


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TwilightPrincess
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27 Jul 2023, 5:28 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm so beautiful it doesn't matter how old I am.
My beauty will fascinate men until the end of time.

We are so beautiful we have to beat men off with a stick on a daily basis. I keep one next to the coatrack by the front door.


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Caz72
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27 Jul 2023, 5:32 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm so beautiful it doesn't matter how old I am.
My beauty will fascinate men until the end of time.

We are so beautiful we have to beat men off with a stick on a daily basis. I keep one next to the coatrack by the front door.


me too

im always getting asked out on dates

not boasting ro anything just saying how it is


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TwilightPrincess
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27 Jul 2023, 5:34 pm

It’s hard being so damn beautiful.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jul 2023, 7:56 pm

I try to balance my beauty by wearing the wrong colour, at least once a year.
Otherwise, men would be dying in droves and I'd feel a bit guilty.


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TwilightPrincess
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27 Jul 2023, 8:01 pm

I try to just wear my heels and red lipstick on days when I'm not going out. I don't want men ogling me more than they already do. You know how it is.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jul 2023, 11:04 pm

Seriously tho, if you wear them on your channel you'll make more money. ^


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Sweetleaf
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28 Jul 2023, 1:17 am

By worrying about it...I know it's not healthy.

But I miss how skinny I was in my 20's and now I got 30 year old pudge around my belly and I don't really like it but my boyfriend says he likes it just fine but still I miss how I used to look i mean its not too much different now I just feel like I've gained weight in places I never have before and it bothers me. I am not obsessed about it but it certainly weighs on my mind at times. I am not even overweight or anything but seems like I have gotten more body conscious than I ever have been before.


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Sweetleaf
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28 Jul 2023, 1:24 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm so beautiful it doesn't matter how old I am.
My beauty will fascinate men until the end of time.

We are so beautiful we have to beat men off with a stick on a daily basis. I keep one next to the coatrack by the front door.


I do have a wizard staff if such a situation was to come up, has a rock on the end probably wouldn't be fun to get hit with, haven't tried it out myself but the rock does look like it would suck to get wacked or jabbed with.


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