Help please with email sent to prospective love interest

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Somebody said I should have just said this:

i think something like this, "hi, do you remember me? I'm that girl from yoga class 2 years ago. I thought we had a connection and I'm wondering if you'd like to get together and see if there's a spark. Maybe we could go for a walk?" would be sufficient.

Instead I had gone into a long detailed message about how I found his work email, how I hoped he wasn't offended that I had, how I had reacted badly to him trying to approach me in the supermarket when we had never even spoken in the yoga class.
Which is why I walked off straight away.

How I was autistic and had other serious health issues meaning that I don't socialise, so could only cope with a walk.

Etc.

Did I do something really off-putting and awful?

Yes I'm autistic (not sure if my profile says that or not) and I do have other serious chronic health issues:

I have suicidal depression, chronic fatigue, OCD and Complex-PTSD.
I often can't interact with anybody because of all of the above.

I heard from someone else in yoga that he has a stutter and struggles to make conversation, as well as my general feeling that he was also autistic from what I've observed.

I thought disclosing that I'm not socially 100% okay myself would put him at ease.

Apparently I made myself look bad.

Thoughts, please?!

I don't have any on topic advice to offer but please don't create multiple identical posts across multiple boards, they'll be deleted.

Why did you wait two years to contact him?

funeralxempire-

Okay, apologies, but I'm new and I didn't know which forum this subject was best suited to.

I think I have managed to delete this same question in General Autism Discussion now.
Thank you

TwilightPrincess-

I waited two years for a number of reasons, including PTSD around men, the fact that I have been very unwell and trying to recover from multiple things, as well as the fact that I wasn't actually single when the incident happened with him trying to approach me.

Now I am

So- change in circumstances as well.

I have thought about him and a lot since it happened.
Whether I'm actually interested in him or think it viable etc.

I understand his circumstances may also have changed, which is probably why I wrote so much as well

How long ago did you send this?

MaxE-

I emailed his work two days ago and it sent an automated response saying that he's on annual leave until Monday.

Have I blown it by writing too much and sharing too much personal information straight away, is my question.

Any insights very much welcome

I can answer any questions

No worries, I just don't like people to start off on the wrong foot, so to speak.

I'm not sure emailing him at work is a good idea, but I also wouldn't imagine it's so off-putting to be a deal-breaker.

All the details of your short-comings probably aren't needed that upfront either.

I can't be certain if you've "blown it" but it's certainly possible. That said, if you have, learn from it and move on.

Well you might get lucky. If he's the right guy for you then he'll be less likely to be put off. Not sure if it helps, but when I was 22, a woman once approached me and announced she had schizophrenia, and I dated her anyway, for about 3 months.

funeralxempire-

I emailed him at work because I am autistic with serious social impairments, and supposedly he has a stutter and is possibly also autistic.

I didn't see how I could approach him in the yoga class after two years when we'd never even spoken before, two years after he'd approached me in the supermarket.

I just couldn't do it

He was on LinkedIn.

It's not that bad really, he has a public profile

MaxE-

That's interesting.

Thank you

I understand your logic, it's just often viewed as a faux-pas to contact someone at their place of work over personal matters.

I can sympathize. Sometimes you have to work with what you have. To a great extent, I credit whatever success I had with dating when I was young to pursuing anyone I thought might be a prospect by whatever means were available. Often I embarrassed myself, but I had to keep trying. Like when I took an evening class in Spanish at a university and at one point decided to hit on the instructor, who was somewhat older and most likely out of my league, but you have to just keep trying.

funeralxempire-

Well where else was I supposed to contact him?

The supermarket?

It simply wasn't going to be possible for me.

Would LinkedIn have been better?

Or a handwritten letter to his office?

I actually contacted a work colleague of his in complete confidence first and asked if he'd be likely to respond with anger, annoyance or offence to me contacting him in that way, and he said from what he knew of him, he thought almost certainly not.

I was very careful and thought about it for a long time

MaxE-

Yes, plus I tried Facebook and he most definitely doesn't have a profile on there.

Otherwise I'd have used Facebook, which is seen as more socially acceptable.

Generally speaking, one takes the L and moves on with life rather than actually following through on their desire to contact the person.

Putting in the amount of effort you did might be a red flag for some people.
If the person isn't interested that amount of effort you put in qualifies as stalking.
Most people view stalking them as a red flag, no matter how harmless the person doing it insists their intentions were.

Don't get me wrong, I wish you nothing but the best of luck and I hope he is interested, but I feel obliged to tell you how people will commonly understand aspects of your behaviour.

It's my understanding that everybody gets one shot at making an inappropriate advance. If the advance is turned down, but the person persists, it can be considered stalking or harassment. I think the worst that could happen is that the guy publicly shames you. I would like to think only the worst sort of jerk would do that.