Do all men ''have'' to be and look muscular ?

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chris1989
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24 Sep 2023, 8:56 am

Maybe its just me but I seem to feel as though I see more advertisements (commercials), media coverage, and so on a lot more now than maybe 10 years ago about gyms and stuff and there seems to be a lot more dotted around in towns and places but they still don't persuade me in wanting to go in and join one. I don't if its because I don't want to because of the environment or feeling socially awkward and self conscious about myself in front of other people I don't know or that I don't have to bother as I have weights to use at home which I don't use all the time accept occasionally.

I do at times get this urge to compare again but it still hasn't motivated me to go to one of those places. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others like with so many other things but it feels hard when you see it all over social media, on TV etc. I am probably quite a thin person but probably not as very thin as 10, 15 or more years ago but I can still feel my rib cage. I am not exactly muscular either but I have used weights and done press-ups at home on occasions in the past and I did do it quite regularly during the pandemic because I heard from people saying the healthier and fitter you are the more likely your body would fight off Covid but obviously I still got it and was quite ill for a week or so.
I have noticed a hardening in the muscle in the top half of my arms which is probably an indication that its because of the weight lifting and so on. I also walk to work than drive as I only work 20 minutes away from where I live. A week ago also did a lot of walking for a while as my car's MOT ran out. One day I did a 50 or 60 minute walk to a clinic for an ear syringing which was on the other side of the river, and then the next day I did another 50 minute walk for an appointment with my therapist on the other side of town.

All this hasn't really made me look like a body builder and I personally wouldn't want to look like one and also I have quite a fast metabolism which probably makes me unable to put on a lot of weight and I don't feel very keen on putting on a lot of weight as I'm worried it could lead to things like diabetes and so on but I still get this feeling as though you're ''missing out'' because you are not working out a lot more and that sometimes I feel bad when I shouldn't be about not having known about it a lot more like 10 years ago.



IsabellaLinton
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24 Sep 2023, 9:03 am

No


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KitLily
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24 Sep 2023, 9:38 am

All men are different.

All people are different.

We don't need clones in this world, we need individuals. Those men you see on adverts for gyms are MODELS. They are chosen because they look unbelievably perfect and their photos are probably airbrushed anyway. Plus when they are filmed they have a team of make up artists and hairdressers making them look perfect in every shot.

My husband isn't muscular or tall, he is wiry and short. But I love HIM, I don't like people because of how they look.


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BTDT
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24 Sep 2023, 10:06 am

The pressure is worse for women. Nobody looks like those magazine covers.



bee33
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24 Sep 2023, 10:26 am

Most men are not muscular and physically fit, so clearly men don't "have to be" muscular and physically fit.



blitzkrieg
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24 Sep 2023, 11:21 am

In answer to the thread question, I would say no.

I am guessing by the title that the question is really "do all men have to be and look muscular to be attractive to other people"?

And again, that would be a no. Although some women are into that, there are plenty that are not and even the ones who are into that might end up with somebody who doesn't fit that physical description for other reasons, including the wealth of a man, their personality and so on.



FleaOfTheChill
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24 Sep 2023, 11:54 am

KitLily wrote:
All men are different.

All people are different.

We don't need clones in this world, we need individuals. Those men you see on adverts for gyms are MODELS. They are chosen because they look unbelievably perfect and their photos are probably airbrushed anyway. Plus when they are filmed they have a team of make up artists and hairdressers making them look perfect in every shot.

My husband isn't muscular or tall, he is wiry and short. But I love HIM, I don't like people because of how they look.


^ bolding mine.

Truth. They hire people who are abnormally fit especially for those commercials, and even then they make them bulk up, diet like crazy, or other stuff just to get the job, and then comes the photoshopping to achieve this image of perfection that isn't even there. Plus they make those people stand in certain ways, use lighting to help, exhale and freeze. It's crazy, totally manipulated, fake, and so on.

They (business owners and advertising agencies) do that sort of stuff to make people watching think, wow, if I go to that gym, I can look like that to. But reality is that unless it's your job to look like that because you're a model or something, no one has the time in any day to go and workout that much, adjust their diet to that extreme and so on. Life doesn't allow that for most people. Gyms make a killing from ads like that (especially around new years eve when people do that whole new year resolution thing) but the reality is most people don't even use those gym memberships often (if at all after the first month of joining).

So yeah, the reality is that no, all men do not have to be and look muscular, because most men are not muscular and do not look that way...regardless of what ads try to tell (I mean sell) you.



alwaysRootingForTheAI
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24 Sep 2023, 6:50 pm

No.

Some women I have spoken to actually feel uncomfortable around more muscular guys and actually find it threatening.



KitLily
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25 Sep 2023, 2:11 am

alwaysRootingForTheAI wrote:
No.

Some women I have spoken to actually feel uncomfortable around more muscular guys and actually find it threatening.



^You are 100% right here, well said! I prefer more normal looking men- not body builders or models etc. I like approachable, unassuming, kind men with a good sense of humour.


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KitLily
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25 Sep 2023, 2:35 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
Truth. They hire people who are abnormally fit especially for those commercials, and even then they make them bulk up, diet like crazy, or other stuff just to get the job, and then comes the photoshopping to achieve this image of perfection that isn't even there. Plus they make those people stand in certain ways, use lighting to help, exhale and freeze. It's crazy, totally manipulated, fake, and so on.

They (business owners and advertising agencies) do that sort of stuff to make people watching think, wow, if I go to that gym, I can look like that to. But reality is that unless it's your job to look like that because you're a model or something, no one has the time in any day to go and workout that much, adjust their diet to that extreme and so on. Life doesn't allow that for most people. Gyms make a killing from ads like that (especially around new years eve when people do that whole new year resolution thing) but the reality is most people don't even use those gym memberships often (if at all after the first month of joining).

So yeah, the reality is that no, all men do not have to be and look muscular, because most men are not muscular and do not look that way...regardless of what ads try to tell (I mean sell) you.


Well said!


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RetroGamer87
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25 Sep 2023, 4:28 am

Well there isn't a law saying all men have to look muscular.


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magz
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25 Sep 2023, 4:49 am

Do all women "have" to have big boobs?
I don't know, maybe in some social environments these "requirements" are something real. I avoid such environments.

Bodybuilders are not particualrily appealing to me. I don't mind muscles (I do a bit of sports myself and my own arms aren't exactly thin and super feminine) but muscles have to be for purpose not for display.
Bodybuilding exercises often do a lot of harm to joints. What's your gain form big muscles if your joints can't let you use them?


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nick007
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25 Sep 2023, 10:08 pm

alwaysRootingForTheAI wrote:
No.

Some women I have spoken to actually feel uncomfortable around more muscular guys and actually find it threatening.
My girlfriend would be one of them. I never been muscular & I was thin when we got together. I gained a lot of weight after we moved in together due to adjusting to more independent living(instead of living with my parents), binge-eating partly due to stress, & med side-effects & Cass thinks I'm more attractive fatter. Cass is fatter than me thou & also gained weight after moving in together for similar reasons. That said, she wants me to be healthier even if she finds me less attractive in those areas.


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KitLily
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26 Sep 2023, 2:56 am

I think certain styles suit certain people, you just have to find what suits you e.g. some men look their best very neat and tidy in a suit etc. Some men look best kind of rugged with a beard/stubble and outdoorsy clothes. Some men look best slim, some more muscly, some fatter. As I said, everyone is an individual.

e.g. Adam Driver is the perfect example. When he has short, neat hair and wears neat clothes, he looks very ordinary. But when he has wilder hair, a beard/stubble, and wears something like armour or rugged clothes, he is gorgeous!

It is just finding what suits you individually. Obviously applies to women too but I don't study those :lol:


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chris1989
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29 Sep 2023, 5:37 pm

I seem to find myself sometimes comparing to other men because I feel like as if I haven't got as much muscle as the guy I'm looking at and yet despite it still doesn't inspire me to want to get to a gym to get muscles. It just makes me feel like I'm the only one that's not really that interested in it as though every man is into it, even though I have weights at home I use on occasions and that seeing all these other men who are my age or younger on social media and so on just fuels the negative comparison thoughts even more and makes you seem like you are the only one out of the crowd.



IsabellaLinton
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29 Sep 2023, 5:45 pm

I've never known any men who go to gyms.
That includes my kids' friends now (ages 20s - 30s) and my partner (61), or his brothers.
Some men play sports but most stay fit by doing home repairs or being active.
I think most men who go to gyms around here are gay.

*That's not a knock on gay men. It's just not common for most men.


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