Do you ever feel sad seeing happy friend groups in media

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GreenVelvetWorm
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29 Sep 2023, 6:06 am

I was reading a manga the other day where a girl moves to a new city and she makes a bunch of supportive friends, and I started crying while I was reading it. I don't cry often nowadays, but it made me feel so lonely. Feeling a similar way now after watching a show about a fun, affectionate friend group. It feels so unattainable to me.

Do you find media about friends to be a comforting escape, or does it hurt to see? (directing this question at other people who are lacking in friends)



bee33
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29 Sep 2023, 7:39 am

For sure, especially for me on TV shows. I suppose in part it has to be done that way on a TV show because it would be hard to make a show in which the main character spends most of their time by themselves, but people in TV shows always have such effortless friendships, even with characters who are not their friends per se. They can just come across someone who is having some issue and they talk about it and try to fix it together and it just feels like... what? How does that happen?

But yes, many times in a show there is a friends group and they are always hanging out together and it seems so impossible, and it does make me sad.



IsabellaLinton
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29 Sep 2023, 9:22 am

I notice the same thing but with happy family groups. I'm always aware of shows where there's a large extended family and everyone knows everyone's story, or helps each other like a team. The communication kills me the most, like when families are sitting around big dining room tables or celebrating the achievements / birthdays of one person en masse.

The show I noticed it most with was a TV show called Parenthood. I know it was overblown Hollywood stuff but at first I had a bit of a meltdown because I found their lack of privacy overwhelming, but within a few episodes I was so envious of it I was actually in tears. I had to ask a few online friends if that was "normal" family behaviour. I was shocked that they actually said it was.

My family is very small and very private meaning we don't tell each other ANYTHING. We deal with all our crises alone and very seldom get together even though it's just my kids, my brother, and my mum. When we're together it's a game of mutism because no one wants to upset anyone else by sharing their struggles or bad news, and there's never anything good to say.

As for friends, I've never really had any so I assume it's not believable. I'm not envious of it because I don't really want friends, but I'd love to have a communicating family. This mutism business is for the birds. I hate it so much.


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Summer_Twilight
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29 Sep 2023, 5:38 pm

I am a big fan of and I wanted the same life long bond as DJ and Kimmy. When my childhood friend and I became teenagers, she lost her interest after meeting her first boyfriend. I was very upset when that happened.



blitzkrieg
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29 Sep 2023, 8:28 pm

It depends on the type of media.

Social media is mostly fake, and there are people who exist in that domain of 'reality' (more like an unreality), who spend time on so called friends who definitely wouldn't help them in an emergency, and some of which who wouldn't bother pissing on them if they were on fire.

It is a cultural sickness. Bringing lonely people together with a delusion of togetherness, interspersed with often hostile behaviour of mentally ill & delusional individuals.

Add in a topping of disinformation and people who can barely string an intelligent thought together to make a status update, and you have wonderful places such as Facebook. :roll:

In terms of broadcast media, such as television, the shows are scripted and no-one needs to be jealous of fiction.



GreenVelvetWorm
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29 Sep 2023, 10:28 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
In terms of broadcast media, such as television, the shows are scripted and no-one needs to be jealous of fiction.



Yeah, I know it's not logical. I think it just tugs at a part of my brain that knows something is missing in my life

It's like seeing a picture of a burger and suddenly realizing how hungry you are



aerithstrelitzia
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10 Oct 2023, 2:15 pm

oh yes. seeing the dynamic between Ventus, Terra, and Aqua in Kingdom Hearts BBS made me cry. I don't think I had ever felt so lonely. it was what gave me the strength to ask my parents to sign me up for face to face school though, so I'm very thankful for that and I've met some lovely people who I don't think I could live without since then. <3


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c.yaggason
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12 Oct 2023, 4:19 pm

im fairly critical of most media's depictions of all human relationships...
the "Friends" show was a good example.
Ive never known anyone to have such a friend-group that wasnt a flash-in-the-pan sorta thing...
and it usually ended with scandal and drama.
already feeling isolated probably makes these shiny fantasies seem an even more alluring an idea.

romantic relationships in media were unbearable when i had been single forever... they still piss me off... because
of how long i followed this lead as if it were something meaningful or valuable by which to steer or judge my life...
nope... just made for a good story... and ultimately gave alot of people backwards ideas on what to expect or strive for.

all the best!