Recent Self Realization Of Autistic Traits

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Hi everyone,



I have always had this feeling that the way I process things and go on about it is different. I have been married for the past 4 years and this feeling has only gotten stronger.



1. I have always been easily distracted by my surrounding: I used to be more concerned that someone couldn’t find a pen during my exam than my own exam.



2. I am always intimidated by strong personalities: I have many strong personalities in my life and they always want something specific emotionally/physically and when I fail to provide those they get very angry and I feel intimidated by them. This is making me very frustrated and angry inside. No courage to speak out.



3. I feel like no one understands me or my feelings, and I can’t be expressive about them. When I convey that it is hard for me to change this behavior or achieve something, no one understands and blame that i am not willing to achieve this. My wife wants me to be expressive and i really want to be that but I just can’t do it.



4. I have this impulsive desire to do something even though it is absolutely unimportant: I sometimes enter kitchen and see some dirty dishes, although I went there to maybe get some fruit for my son, i would have this desire to wash the dishes although my wife takes care of all the house chores and all I wanted was to just help a bit, it was not important at that time. I just can’t keep my focus on the matter at hand. It happens at work as well.



5. I have this desire that if my wife for eg. is angry at me, that I have to ke everything ok in that very moment. I don’t or can’t give her time to calm down and then approach her. I am very bad at dealing with angry person.



6. At the end of the day I am so tired fighting and struggling with all these things that I just feel like crying: Trying to focus at work, trying to make the people who I really care about happy, making sure I don’t say anything that hurts their feelings makes me very tired. I can’t be energetic and involved in the evening.


I am really new at this. Not with the situations but I recently could name these problems and realised that I have always been autistic. What do you guys think of my above mentioned issues? By the way I am 31 years old.

Thanks and regards!

Hi!
One of the things that my semi-diagnosis gave me were words to describe my feelings. Not the regular emotions but things like sensory overload.
Do you have some space only for yourself, where you feel happy the way you are?

It does sound like you have some ND issues of some kind, and with a lack of focus, that sounds more into ADHD territory.

If you suspect you have autism you should see a relevant doctor for a referral. The cost may vary from country to country (it it free on the NHS to be diagnosed in the UK, for example, though waiting times are long for this service).

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

Besides Autism and ADHD I would also look into OCD. I suggest that because of the compulsion to clean and other things.

I would advise that do seek a professional assessment to figure out what is going on because whatever it is it is making your life difficult and it’s free where you are. Finding out what the issue(s) are is helpful in dealing with them.

Feel free to look around and ask questions here.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My wife had OCD so I know it very well.

There is/was a web site call stuck in a doorway.

An OCD literally gets stuck in a doorway. They need do their compulsion no matter what.
Lets say they need to make sure the oven is off and touch the knobs.
What happens if you remove the oven. No oven. Nothing to touch.
An OCD invents a new compulsion they need to do!

With me, give me a shiny new object and I'll forget about whatever looks like OCD.

Some great responses so far and I think they are onto something ..

I myself have Aspergers.. recently discovered I also have ADHD ( following my daughter’s diagnosis) and OCD .

It’s quite a ‘heady mix’ as they say .. extremely fragile and soooooo exhausting physically and mentally


It’s such a pity that nobody can see how we all suffer with these invisible issues

Hi,

I'll never understood why people want you/me to behave like them. You can learn a lot, but if it doesn't feel comfortable and it takes so much energy that you have to go to bed early or sit in a dark quiet room for 3 days, than it can't be healthy.
You should accept eachothers shortcomings in a relationship.
I am not authistic but I do get sensory overload quite often I"m also sensitief for light. I find it difficult to speak up when something is bothering me. Somehow I'm unable to make a sentence in my head. The circulate unfinished. When comfortable I join in a conversation.