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Kitty4670
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10 Nov 2023, 6:35 pm

Why Aspergers can make me feel very young? I can get sooo overwhelmed that I can get more anxiety, cuz I don’t know how to deal with things & be very responsible. I’m a very worse adult.



Lorikeet
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10 Nov 2023, 6:46 pm

How old are you Kitty? We all develop maturity at a different rate. However, yes, it is a known trait that people with autism seem younger than NT people of similar age. I felt so unprepared for adulthood. All through my 20’s I still felt like a teenager and completely masked my way through life, pretending to be a real “grown up”. I was probably in my mid 30s before I finally felt like an adult. Although never a capable adult but no longer a child!



MatchboxVagabond
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10 Nov 2023, 7:38 pm

Lorikeet wrote:
How old are you Kitty? We all develop maturity at a different rate. However, yes, it is a known trait that people with autism seem younger than NT people of similar age. I felt so unprepared for adulthood. All through my 20’s I still felt like a teenager and completely masked my way through life, pretending to be a real “grown up”. I was probably in my mid 30s before I finally felt like an adult. Although never a capable adult but no longer a child!

Or much older because we largely avoided doing most of the usual immature and mindless things. A lot of the common stuff that kids do was just outright painful for me in ways that I can't properly express. Or from spending no time with kids and just copying what the adults are doing.



MagicMeerkat
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10 Nov 2023, 9:32 pm

I HATE this concept so much! My parents used it as an excuse to make me hang out with this neighbor girl 7 years younger than me who only pretended to like me so she could use my laptop and play games she didn't have. She came from a religious family that hated Mormons for some reason. She was in a fourm for other kids her age. I didn't care if she used it as it was intended.

She found out another little girl on the fourm was Mormon and wanted to create a new user account just to bully this girl. I said, 'If you want to do that, you're gonna have to find another computer. If you use mine, you have to obey my rules for it. You don't have to interact with this Mormon girl, but you CAN'T be mean to her." I tried to tell my parents I really didn't want to basically have to babysit a teenager who didn't need a babysitter and had other friends. My parents were like, "Well you're autistic and because of your mental age you can't make friends your own age!"

I also had to go to a swim class, even though I NEVER expressed any interest in swimming and we lived in a landlocked state but since they were specifically catered to autistic kids, I HAD to take them. Aside from a girl who was non verbal and either in her late teens or early 20's, I was the oldest one there. Ever other kid there was either a toddler or preschooler. But again, it was fine and dandy because "you're autistic and your mental age is younger".

If I wanted to do something I was legit intrested in some activity or group that was for my actual age group my parents were like, "No, your autistic and your mental age is lower". I was never allowed to quit any of the activites my parents insisted I do becuase they didn't want me to develop a "quiter" mindset. I never wanted to be a "starter" for most of these in the first place.

I never really had any desire to make friends, even friends my own age. I was content to be alone doing my own thing but if I did desire friends my own age I would have had to kiss that goodbye becuase since my parents only let me do activities for younger kids beucase they were adamant my mental age was drastically lower than my chronological age.


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auntblabby
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10 Nov 2023, 9:39 pm

my mental age is variable depending on what areas of life one is talking about.



jamie0.0
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11 Nov 2023, 12:12 am

i still haven't accepted adulthood
even though i have all the responsibilities and achy bones of an adult.

i do belive i will be an senior citizen with the mental age of about 17

youth is a mindset, not a description of a physical form.



Kitty4670
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11 Nov 2023, 12:24 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I HATE this concept so much! My parents used it as an excuse to make me hang out with this neighbor girl 7 years younger than me who only pretended to like me so she could use my laptop and play games she didn't have. She came from a religious family that hated Mormons for some reason. She was in a fourm for other kids her age. I didn't care if she used it as it was intended.

She found out another little girl on the fourm was Mormon and wanted to create a new user account just to bully this girl. I said, 'If you want to do that, you're gonna have to find another computer. If you use mine, you have to obey my rules for it. You don't have to interact with this Mormon girl, but you CAN'T be mean to her." I tried to tell my parents I really didn't want to basically have to babysit a teenager who didn't need a babysitter and had other friends. My parents were like, "Well you're autistic and because of your mental age you can't make friends your own age!"

I also had to go to a swim class, even though I NEVER expressed any interest in swimming and we lived in a landlocked state but since they were specifically catered to autistic kids, I HAD to take them. Aside from a girl who was non verbal and either in her late teens or early 20's, I was the oldest one there. Ever other kid there was either a toddler or preschooler. But again, it was fine and dandy because "you're autistic and your mental age is younger".

If I wanted to do something I was legit intrested in some activity or group that was for my actual age group my parents were like, "No, your autistic and your mental age is lower". I was never allowed to quit any of the activites my parents insisted I do becuase they didn't want me to develop a "quiter" mindset. I never wanted to be a "starter" for most of these in the first place.

I never really had any desire to make friends, even friends my own age. I was content to be alone doing my own thing but if I did desire friends my own age I would have had to kiss that goodbye becuase since my parents only let me do activities for younger kids beucase they were adamant my mental age was drastically lower than my chronological age.


That was so wrong of your parents to tell you what do to, my mom tell me I have to join a club or take classes to make friends, I wasn’t making friends, my mom wasn’t too bad. I don’t know why parents think they know better than you, your parents should have asked you. Do you still live with your parents?



Dylan the autist
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13 Nov 2023, 2:45 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I HATE this concept so much! My parents used it as an excuse to make me hang out with this neighbor girl 7 years younger than me who only pretended to like me so she could use my laptop and play games she didn't have. She came from a religious family that hated Mormons for some reason. She was in a fourm for other kids her age. I didn't care if she used it as it was intended.

She found out another little girl on the fourm was Mormon and wanted to create a new user account just to bully this girl. I said, 'If you want to do that, you're gonna have to find another computer. If you use mine, you have to obey my rules for it. You don't have to interact with this Mormon girl, but you CAN'T be mean to her." I tried to tell my parents I really didn't want to basically have to babysit a teenager who didn't need a babysitter and had other friends. My parents were like, "Well you're autistic and because of your mental age you can't make friends your own age!"

I also had to go to a swim class, even though I NEVER expressed any interest in swimming and we lived in a landlocked state but since they were specifically catered to autistic kids, I HAD to take them. Aside from a girl who was non verbal and either in her late teens or early 20's, I was the oldest one there. Ever other kid there was either a toddler or preschooler. But again, it was fine and dandy because "you're autistic and your mental age is younger".

If I wanted to do something I was legit intrested in some activity or group that was for my actual age group my parents were like, "No, your autistic and your mental age is lower". I was never allowed to quit any of the activites my parents insisted I do becuase they didn't want me to develop a "quiter" mindset. I never wanted to be a "starter" for most of these in the first place.

I never really had any desire to make friends, even friends my own age. I was content to be alone doing my own thing but if I did desire friends my own age I would have had to kiss that goodbye becuase since my parents only let me do activities for younger kids beucase they were adamant my mental age was drastically lower than my chronological age.


That's awful that you had to go through that...



BillyTree
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13 Nov 2023, 3:59 pm

Ever since I was a kid people have mistaken me to be younger than my actual age. Until I was around 30 it was totally a bad thing. The only girls/women attracted to me was 4-5 years younger than me. Now, at the age of 57, I think it's quit positive and flattering when people, especially women, think I'm in my 40's. I am not sure if it is a mental thing - me acting immature - or if I actually look physically younger, or if it's a combination of both.


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CockneyRebel
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13 Nov 2023, 9:40 pm

I was never ready for the restrictions of adulthood. In 2016, I decided that I was going to do whatever I wished and nobody could stop me. That's when I first started unmasking.


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BTDT
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14 Nov 2023, 1:04 am

My friends say I look 20 years younger than my actual age!
They said I could pass for my 20s if I dyed my hair!

I constantly learn new things. Pick up new hobbies every five years.



IsabellaLinton
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14 Nov 2023, 1:07 am

My ASD diagnostic doctor said I have the social-emotional maturity of a 14 year old, max.

I stopped at that age because of ASD but also trauma.

When I'm triggered I go even younger, usually to 7 but also to 3.


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auntblabby
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14 Nov 2023, 1:31 am

i didn't start to look old until covid hit me, then i suddenly aged.



colliegrace
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14 Nov 2023, 1:43 am

I look far younger than I am, but I wonder if it's subtle mannerisms that add to the perception that I'm young?


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auntblabby
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14 Nov 2023, 1:59 am

i was told i had the posture of a girl and sit like a girl.



CockneyRebel
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15 Nov 2023, 10:18 am

Just because I'm almost in my 50s doesn't mean I have to dress like I'm in my 50s.


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