Feeling literally out of Earth

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It has been a week since the disaster between me and my trans friend that resulted in a decline in our positive outlook toward one another. I couldn't stop venting about my inability to handle trans people and my grandmother even berated me for not interacting with trans people. At this point I feel like my preferences are enough to make other autistic people uncomfortable. I understand, I am different, I think differently but if my preferences are this bad then am I worthy of this autistic community?

Feels like I can't find pain-relief in this forum these days. Am I really worthy of this community or am I part of a whole new autistic community?

Here's what I think: Autism and LGBT rationalizations are both products of social progress. If you can't stand LGBT, you have to accept that some people can't stand your autism. The latter requirement seems to be in conflict with the spirit of the forum? In general, you can try to publicize your ideas, but I don't recommend it.

Why were you venting about it at all to your trans friend? I don’t understand.

Because of one grave mistake I've committed. Mislabeling them as a girl. They didn't tell me nor did they explain their sexuality and gender dysphoria until two weeks after we first met. Because throughout that time, I didn't even knew that they were trans, I treated them like a girl and even called them a "soft tomboy girl". Now I regret ever making that mistake since I know what emotional pain and impact has brought upon me.

It went from a blooming friendship to a cold war with my family over my preferences. Never have I experienced such emotional pain and it's all my fault for labeling them as a girl because their female image is forever engraved in my mind and it cannot be rid of. I had to sacrifice myself to save her and myself from greater turmoil. It was one way or the other for me as either decision would mean emotional pain for me.

I know that people can't stand my autism. Usually, neurotypicals (not all) aren't good in terms of handling people with autism. And then there is me, an autistic person who can't stand LGBT. How is that normal for other autistic people who are usually more friendly to the LGBT and yet I have trouble understanding simply because I had no prior experience in real life with any of the people from LGBT. Not even a trans person talked to me. The classmates I had and have are simply neurotypical. Only one is neurodivergent and they are trans.

I was stupid and labeled them a girl cause they looked like a girl despite identifying as a man and that is how it led to this great tragedy that would negatively impact me. I have discussed and argued with people on other forums regarding this specific issue with my autism and all I got out was that my apparent preferences were making others uncomfortable. In the end, I have nothing else but regret of myself for not being more related with other autistic people because of my preferences and my autistic mindset.

It looks like you are still mislabeling him.

It could be a learning experience. We can all learn and grow. I identify as a tomboyish woman and am a biological female, but I prefer to be thought of as a person first. I don’t like it when people pigeonhole me based on my gender. I’ve experienced too much of that nonsense. People always wanted me to be something I’m not. In my opinion, conceptions of gender are mostly due to nurture rather than nature anyway.

A learning experience? What have I learned? All I've learned is that I am a poor bastard who prioritized my own outlook and preferences over an innocent being because I never had any interactions with autistic or ADHD people in my life beforehand. Because of the opportunities I didn't have earlier in my life, my mindset is simply stuck to the simple, close-minded, restricted view on the world.

I wish I'd learned the right way but I have learned this the hard way! I wonder if there are any neurodivergent people I can find in my school to talk to because I am sure that I am never getting any because almost everyone is neurotypical and has different interests which makes me lonely. No wonder why I projected my frustration and sorrows because of how lonely I was for most of my childhood and teenagehood. The only thing that kept me sane was my family and I am grateful that I am still alive and standing.

I think that if people are aware they can change. I was homeschooled in a fundamentalist family who had close-minded, bigoted views regarding just about anything including LGBTQ+ stuff. The few friends I had had the same views. My brother and I were both able to evolve out of that mindset. Change is possible. Reading and research might prove useful. It was for me.

Good for you but I don't know about myself. Not all people are lucky to change their mindsets like that.

I think that if people have awareness of their mindset they are usually capable of changing it.

What I am aware of makes me more worried than ever. The fact that I am "isolating" myself from most of the community because of my preferences is what makes me aware. If I were to change my mindset, well I might never even pursue for a relationship and I'd be a dead loner who has tried to make history but never got the recognition in life he desired for.

But no more. I can't let this "gender warfare" attack me no more. It's all a distraction by the rich to let them exploit me. That is what I am aware of and I will defend myself against the capitalist system that tries to purposefully exploit me and use my loneliness for their gains.

No one is saying that you have to pursue a romantic relationship with a person who is trans. They are saying that you should avoid venting about it to trans friends because it gives the impression that you are transphobic. Do you see what I mean?

I see. Then I shouldn't be around trans people. It's better that they live peacefully without me because whenever I thought about my female friend being trans, it often caused sensory meltdowns simply because I could not comprehend how unaware and helpless I felt. The greater problem is that they're my classmate and I don't wanna be suspended because of my inability to properly react as it is caused by my autism.

That’s not what a sensory meltdown is. A sensory meltdown is caused by being overly stimulated by bright lights, loud noise, etc. Sensory=of the senses.

Just treat him how you would treat other humans.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 17 Jan 2024, 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Huh. Well I am sensitive but in a sense of emotions. Again, I tell of you that when my friend revealed their transgender to me two weeks after we became friends, it was then that I had a overreaction inside which caused confusion to be replaced with tears. At first my friend was understanding of my emotional outburst because it was my first time with a trans person but the outbursts didn't stop and even then they still continue after my friendship ended with them.

And before you say, I had teared up a little today because I felt nothing but regret on my life choices. But soon, that will fade away as I will one day find someone who will understand my pain and they will understand me very well than the last friend. I don't know why am I saying this but I should not drown my hopes and continue pursuing for true love.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	This thread was moved from Love and Dating to The Haven and is therefore now subject to a special rule set. See: viewtopic.php?t=297515