29 and never had a date

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I've reviewed topics on WP before, so I hope it doesn't sound redundant. A quick introduction, I'm 29 and never had a date or first kiss. I feel that being socially awkward has a role to play in this, which is why I hate being on the spectrum. I'd like to know any strategies that may help in dating especially when I have restricted interests and can't perform a new hobby without being bored after a few hours. Thanks!

I'm also almost the same age, and same inaction; never kissed, never date, etc.

Reason: Sheer Indifference.
We ain't the same.

I cannot relate that desire and the reasoning of having "social awkwardness" (I'm not even sure if I can relate to social awkwardness as a situation instead of as a mood) getting in the way of said desire; and hating autism just for 'that' particular 'aspiration'.

Though it's an all too common topic amongst autistics. Particularly, allosexuals/alloromantics...
My indifference is not merely for 'being autistic' or socially anxious and in-denial for those who cannot relate.


All in all, I recommend putting this thread to Love and Dating; a section that I never even bother remembering it's existence for asking dating tips and relationship advices.

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Try not to feel to bad about never dating anyone. I'm turning 40 in March and I haven't dated anyone since I was 22.

My son (who I think has a bit of ASD) was 29 when he complained to me that he'd still not had a girlfriend. I advised him to try to engineer his social life so that he'd come into contact with more single women. He found a partner not long afterwards, though I don't know how helpful my advice was.

I also went through some angst about feeling left out of the dating and mating game, though I somehow got lucky well before I was 29, and I suppose that gave me a bit of experience and confidence.

Prior to that, one of the hardest things was learning not to act desperate even though I felt desperate. I also didn't know quite what I wanted a girlfriend for, and didn't know what my criteria were for selecting one - I guess I felt that beggars can't be choosers and so I didn't much care who it was as long as it was somebody. After a couple of painful failed relationships, I remember figuring out one day that I was going to have to get more picky, and that thought worried me because it was very rare that I found even one woman who seemed interested in me.

I think it helped when I figured out that relationships are just a specialised form of friendship, and that if I became good at making friends generally, then relationships would likely follow. And it helps relationships to work well if your partner is also your best friend. Also it's easier to bear being partnerless when you have friends, and very likely the opposite sex is rightly wary of suitors who have none.

I don't know that my interests have had much to do with it, except that I'm a musician. One guy said, "women like a man who plays a guitar and sings a bit." There's probably some truth in that, but my musical skill has rarely been the direct primary cause of new relationships. It's been invaluable in getting me accepted socially though, so I suppose there must have been some indirect effect. Anyway, unless you happen to be really interested in performing music for its own sake, it won't help you. I've not been able to share my special interests with others very much at all, because others are hardly ever interested in the tedious details I indulge in, but they often like the results.

I don't know what else to advise, except that sometimes the way to get North is to go South - i.e. it may be better not to try to solve the problem of partnerlessness in a full-on, direct way, but to just try not to worry about it much, and to gradually develop your general social skills, make friends, and figure out what you want in a woman. But I know it's easier said than done, and that being partnerless is a thing that often nags at people horribly.

Hope this helps.

If it helps for context, I was obese the past 5 years and just started recently slimming down. My height is 5'10". Now I'm at 183 lbs when I started last year at 205 lbs. Another factor is balding; looking at earlier photos of myself, I had a full head of hair and now it's significantly thinned, so I'd probably need a hair transplant to fix that.

It seems "politically incorrect" to mention appearance being a factor in dating, but I believe that's a major cause. I NEVER hear women say, "You're too desperate", "you're not funny", "you're not confident", etc. So, my personality doesn't have major flaws. It could point to me being below average in looks. I've used Tinder and Bumble (dating apps) and pretty much get no matches, so that's evidence of looks playing a role.

When I laugh, I can see my double-chin, which is embarrassing.

I'm 49 and I've never had a date. That doesn't really bother me. Relationships are not my top priority.

I might always complain about my current partner-less situation but I can at least say with 100% confidence that I have dated before and I have also been kissed on the lips (passionately I might add)!

I have also came VERY close to having sex!! !

I’m 53, I had one boyfriend at a disabled workshop, I was 20, we never dated, I had my first kiss, it was like a wet fish, we made out too, my relationship with him lasted 4 months, we broke up, cuz he cheated on me. I talked to alot of guys online, I had online boyfriends. My last relationship was online, I was going to meet him.