Why do non autistic people have to assign their own views...

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Why do non autistic people have to assign their own views to things that autistic people say/do?
For example, if someone says "You were being annoying on purpose", when you had no idea, and they don't believe you when you say you did not know, even when you did not?

What about if the person is a caregiver?

Last edited by justanotherpersonsomewhere23124 on 28 Jan 2024, 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

They assume the most likely motive because they're not used to considering multiple potential motives.

Or, they don't care about the motive, they just want the annoyance to stop.

Why not?  Freedom of Speech permits it, and Freedom of Thought cannot be abridged.

Because it's a free world.

It's very upsetting to be blamed for doing something on purpose when it isn't on purpose at all, and then not being believed when you explain that it was not on purpose and you didn't even know that what you were doing was bothersome.

A caregiver should be particularly aware that the person they are caring for might have a different understanding than their own, and should in any case be sensitive and helpful rather than disbelieving or blaming the person they are caring for.

But unfortunately we all assign our own views to the things we see other people do and say, at least to some degree. It's not easy to imagine another person's point of view. The caregiver is probably thinking that if they were acting that way, they would be doing it on purpose, so it's hard for them to imagine that your view and your motives are different than theirs and that you are in fact not doing it on purpose. I'm not excusing the caregiver, other than to say that it can be hard to see another person's point of view. They should be trying harder to be understanding.

Many people are in the habit of jumping to conclusions. I suppose they do it because they either don't know how to do critical thinking or they don't feel they have the time to use it. It's also convenient for them to jump to conclusions that put blame and responsibility onto other people rather than themselves, conclusions that make them look or feel superior, sometimes only relatively so by making others look bad. Probably some of the time they don't know they're doing it. It's hard for a person to feel superior if they know perfectly well they're talking rubbish. I guess they might also jump to judgemental conclusions to hit out at people they've taken a dislike to. Caregivers aren't necessarily kind, wise people. Some people aren't very good at their jobs.

Autistic people may be a bit more thoughtful in general, and they're very likely more honest.

They lack Theory Of Mind

I don’t think that is what freedom of speech is about

I'm guessing that it's because non autistic people want to be right all the time and they think they know the autistic person better than the autistic person knows themself. This has been going on for far too long and it needs to stop. It's no longer the 1980s.

It's part of Allism.

You only have one brain. So does everyone else. So like everyone else you assume everyone else's brain works the same way yours does.

It takes effort to make the intellectual leap to recognize that another person just "thinks differently than you" and then to "get into their head" and try to imagine how that person thinks.

If a NT caretaker a) cant imagine any motive for your behavior other than to be deliberately annoying, and or (b) cant believe that you could be so blind as to not see that your behavior is annoying...then said person will conclude that you are doing the thing to be annoying on purpose.

NTs are the majority. Autistics are the minority.

So they dont need to cater to us. But we have to bend over backwards to get into their heads...suss out THEIR minds and understand them. Life aint fair for the minority group, but thats how it is.