The Tomboy Question

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What is a tomboy? A tomboy can be defined as a woman who dresses in male clothing and tends to also emit masculine behavior. Tomboys are content with their female bodies and do not really have a serious case of gender dysphoria in order to be considered as trans men which is a key difference between tomboys and trans men.

Moving on, tomboys are often stereotyped as butch lesbian women (by homophobic reacto-conservatives and reactionaries) as Freudian Psychology as well as backlash against LGBT people resulted in moral panic over tomboys in the 20th century and this stereotype is also used in Hollywood movies. In nationalist politics, they're represented as strong and proud female soldiers as a means of reaching to the female audience and making them embrace nationalist propaganda.

However, the truth is that tomboyness doesn't indicate lesbian behavior among women. Indeed, more lesbians report being tomboys than straight women (Dianne Elise, 1995 essay) but it's not an indicator of a woman's homosexuality (Phillips & Over, 1995). Some lesbians and straight women also find it offensive for someone to associate tomboys as "butch lesbians".

Sources

- Abate, Michelle Ann (2008). Tomboys: A Literary and Cultural History. Temple University Press. ISBN 978-1-59213-722-0

- https://web.archive.org/web/20170108210903/https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/01/tomboy/512258/

- Craig, Traci (October 2011). "Tomboy as Protective Identity". Journal of Lesbian Studies. 15 (4): 450–465. doi:10.1080/10894160.2011.532030. PMID 21973066. S2CID 35791467

- Gabriel Phillips & Ray Over (1995). "Differences between heterosexual, bisexual, and lesbian women in recalled childhood experiences". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 24 (1): 1–20. doi:10.1007/BF01541985. PMID 7733801. S2CID 23296942

And what is the question?

I consider myself a tomboy, but I don’t dress like a man. Well, I’m definitely not keen on wearing dresses unless they are comfortable and I can wear them with leggings. It comes down to personal identity. I’ve not seen tomboys be “stereotyped as butch lesbian women.” “Tomboy” is often used to describe women who enjoy outdoor activities, like hiking, climbing trees, etc. and who aren’t especially interested in stereotypically feminine things like makeup and fashion. I enjoy some feminine things, but I’ve never been especially girly.

Quite often, trans men have no desire to transition. Being a trans man and being a tomboy are two different things. As a tomboy, I still identify as a woman; trans men do not.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Feb 2024, 1:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Is there a possibility that tomboys are going extinct due to the stigma they face from stereotype that the media and literature give along with the more recent assumption that tomboys are now trans men?

This article -> https://www.shoutoutuk.org/2020/12/24/h ... e-tomboys/


This article I've read also discusses the issue regarding the misconception that tomboys are trans men. It is not that it enforces transphobia but it tries to explain that we need to avoid making wrong assumptions about tomboys. We have so far witnessed how tomboys are first portrayed as butch lesbians and I think that this correlates to the misconception that tomboys are trans men. Tomboys do indeed break the traditional role of a woman but I don't think that tomboys have gender dysphoria. It's just that these women like dressing as men and that's all.

Have you watched any media or read any literature? Wikipedia has a dedicated page which lists all tomboy characters in fiction.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tomboys_in_fiction

No, I don’t think this is the case at all. I don’t face stigma and people don’t think I’m trans, not that there’s anything wrong with being trans.

Keep in mind that you are one person who is a tomboy. There are also some tomboys who may be stigmatized by the social media over this. Not all are stigmatized but there is a chance that such stigma exists due to social media.

Yeah, that’s not the whole story.

It would be absurd to think that someone else’s identity invalidates my own.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Feb 2024, 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ofc, it's not the whole story. It's just that I remember one example of a tomboy character being depicted as lesbian. In RWBY, Yang Xiao Long, who is a tomboy character is in a romantic relationship with Blake Belladonna. But then again, there are other examples that I could find of where tomboy character are depicted as butch lesbians.

I was called a tomboy.It described girls that liked to dig in the dirt, climb trees and preferred bikes to barbie.

I never felt stigmatized for my tomboyish style. I think someone would have to be really disturbed to stigmatize someone for reasons you listed. If social media turn toxic on someone, it's time to turn the social media off.

Maybe if people are already defying gender norms to some extent, they are less likely to care what others think.

I don't think it's going extinct. These days there are plenty of female protagonists in movies and TV series who don't fit the traditional stereotype. That wouldn't be the case if tomboys were particularly hated.

Tomboys, back in my day, were just girls who enjoyed boys' activities and dressed for those activities. Then, when puberty hit, they started being more 'girly'.

Their sexuality never concerned me.

Why obsess about it anyway?

This.

I think of the word 'tomboy' being for children.

An adult woman wouldn't be a tom-BOY, but rather a tom-MAN - although that word doesn't exist.

I don't think we need to label women (or girls for that matter) who like to dig in dirt or play outside as being anything related to male unless of course that's what they choose for themselves.

As for being lesbian, that has nothing to do with it.
Sexual orientation and gender identity aren't the same thing.

FWIW, boi is also sometimes used by queer women (adults) who present in a masculine fashion. Tomboy is also typically applied to both girls and women, not reserved for only girls.

I think the tendency to apply it only to younger women is based on unspoken social expectations, essentially that women who are married "should" abandon those sorts of hobbies.

Tom-man doesn't quite make as much sense, since ultimately the intention is to compare the person with a stereotypical rambunctious young male, not a grown man.

The term is probably losing relevance, considering most of what would get one labelled as a tomboy is now accepted as the norm for girls (wearing pants, play that will get one dirty, etc).