Casual sex poll
Female and I...have no idea what I think. I've been alone for sooooo long. But at the same time, it should be with someone I'm in love with. I'm somewhat demisexual but then I don't know. I have no clue what I am. I'm confused. Probably best for me never to say yes to casual sex. But then again I don't want to fall in love with someone and then get to that point of seriousness with them and be like "Oh wait, I can't do this. Sex is gross" and offend them. Whereas if I first tried casual sex and got the answer to whether or not I even could do it with someone then at least if that answer was no at that point it would be taken less personally.
tl;dr version: I don't know.
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Diagnosed with ADHD, Strongly Suspecting I'm also Autistic
Even now I still don't feel comfortable being naked in front of a man so I will probably never have true sex for that reason!
The farthest I am willing to go is foreplay
Like he can press me up against the wall kissing me passionately and carry me into the bedroom
That is what happened with Robbie
You don't have to take all of your clothes off or be naked to have sex.
You can also get naked without having sex. You could take your clothes off and watch a SpongeBob marathon.
tl;dr version: I don't know.
If you fell in love with someone and didn't know if you wanted sex, you could just get naked with that person and watch SpongeBob with them.
Seriously, for most people on the AS, casual sex is probably not as effortless as it might seem. Like if you don't have many opportunities then you find someone who is willing to have sex with you, you will probably want to do it again and again and again. And pretty soon you will have expectations of that person, then you'll have a hard time if they don't want to anymore. I have experienced casual sex a few times, however only one situation in which it was understood from the start that it would never be serious, and when that person eventually got into a serious relationship with someone else, I was sad I'd never have sex with her again. It probably leads to some sort of bad feelings more often than not. So even if you say you're willing, the reality might not be a rousing success. The only people who regularly get away with it are people who regularly get lots of matches on Tinder and their expectation is to have sex with lots of different people over a short period of time. For the rest of us, it can be a minefield.
Is that what you and your wife usually do?
We aren't asexual and we don't watch SpongeBob since our kids stopped watching it.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
It seems a bit high to me. There are lots of reasons why someone might not be eager to have sex.
And even then, they think anything other than missionary is evil.
I can't deal with people like that, but I live in Texas, so it's hell.
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MuddRM
Velociraptor
Joined: 2 Sep 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 439
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township, PA
Reasons I’ve never had ANY kind of sex:
Any and all feelings of affections for a girl were forbidden, lest I get my fat arse beaten by my parents, and the object of my affection was vilified by my parents.
I have been sexually abused by a girl about my age, when I was a teenager. I never said anything about that incident since I knew I would be blamed and physically punished by my parents for allowing it to happen.
I also got abused by several older teenaged girls at a school bus stop that managed to get their hands down my pants. Again, I never said anything to my parents for fear of getting my fat arse beaten by my parents for allowing it to happen.
Yes, I still have nightmares about this. I desperately wanted to see a therapist, but my parents and relatives all followed Louis B. Mayer’s dictum regarding mental health. It’s part of the reason I’m so grossly overweight.
That's a big thing. An episode of casual sex could lead to something more. Like both people enjoyed it and want to keep doing it, so they continue to have regular contact, then it gets to the point that they see no reason to stop. So they just stay together indefinitely. If they basically like each other for other reasons than just sex, they have the basis for a relationship. This is why I would recommend to people that, depending on the circumstances, they shouldn't automatically turn down opportunities for casual sex, even given the risks. Plus it's worthwhile to me to be able to experience how different people function when in the throes of sexual arousal, it's a side of them you wouldn't otherwise see. I am amazed at the degree to which women vary as to what they like to do or have done to them.
I wouldn’t make such a recommendation. I think that people should do what they want to do. If people aren’t into the idea of casual sex, they probably shouldn’t have it. Just because some are into it doesn’t mean that others would be. Everyone is different.
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nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
I wouldn’t make such a recommendation. I think that people should do what they want to do. If people aren’t into the idea of casual sex, they probably shouldn’t have it. Just because some are into it doesn’t mean that others would be. Everyone is different.
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Can I even call myself demisexual at all if it is possible for me to have sexual attraction for people that I haven't first fallen in love with? The only reason I float around the word demisexual at all is the fact that the two people I have fallen in love with I had no physical attraction to them until after I fell for them romantically.
I try not to think too much about any of this. My sexuality is full of contradictions and I don't know what any of it means.
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Diagnosed with ADHD, Strongly Suspecting I'm also Autistic
Sexuality doesn’t always fit neatly into one box or category. We’re all different. Sometimes it’s helpful to use labels because it helps other people understand, but things aren’t always so clearcut and it leads to confusion sometimes too.
As far as my personal identity as a demisexual is concerned, I wouldn’t say that I’m asexual nor on the asexual spectrum even though demisexuality is often considered to be so, not that there’s anything wrong with being on the asexual spectrum. I have a high sex drive and would have a normal sex life if I was in a decent relationship. Until that happens, I’m more than happy with taking care of things on my own. I personally think of demisexuality as being its own thing. I’m attracted to personalities, not so much physical appearances to the point that I don’t have a preference concerning gender. I don’t fully grasp physical attraction because I don’t really experience it. I’ve never had sexual feelings for nor fantasized about a celebrity or someone I didn’t know or didn’t have romantic feelings for.
IMO, it just comes down to: we like what we like.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess