Personality matters if they find you physically attractive

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I'd say you are a catch BB.

Your boyfriend is a lucky dude! Don't underestimate your powers of womanliness.

While I believe some people find an ideal eye/hair color or nose shape, certain elements of looks, such as body fat percentage and balding are mostly objective indicators of attractiveness. No doctor says that obesity is healthier compared to being at a healthy weight. Also with hair strength, balding can make someone appear 10 years older, which is a turn off for most young women.

Personality can be a reason if it's exceptionally bad, but most of the time, people don't know your personality until weeks or months of getting to know you. If anything, a guy who has personality issues and is constantly rejected due to that would receive verbal feedback more often than on his looks; because people assume that personality is changeable whereas looks is mostly not.

I don’t usually date people until I’ve known them for weeks or months at least. Building friendships first could be helpful for some.

I have, so perhaps I should clarify.

Appearance, employment, debt, dependents, family, health, personality, politics, religion, sanity, wealth, and whether or not the person even likes you make up the entire "All-or-Nothing" package.

I care more about someone's personality than I care about their looks.

There are conventional standards of beauty (think fashion models or movie stars) and then there is attractiveness, which is very individual and subjective. Just because someone doesn't look like a model, that doesn't mean that they are not attractive. If only the most beautiful people were attractive, then the majority of everyone would be single!

That raises the question then:

Why are they single?

Well I like fat guys but already found my chubby guy, and I ain't the only chubby chaser out there.

look out for your health, but you don't have to be superfit or anything to get a partner like there are still some people out there who acecept people as they are. And care more about a connection that if you look like some model or whatever.

Most people are not seeking for models, but most people wouldn't date someone they find ugly either.

I don't think the OP is aiming to become a model, this is a black/white thinking.

Personally, I toally agree with the OP, that was my observation as well.

I think it's different for men vs. women.

Women are either attracted or they aren't. Why they are or aren't attracted may not be obvious, but like I said, they either are or aren't.

For men, there's really two thresholds. One threshold might determine whether or not the guy pursues. The second one is a deal-breaker if the woman is below it. Between the two is a gray area in which he might not have asked for a date, but would accept a date if the woman asks for it, implying she's physically attracted to him.

Fortunately for the world, those thresholds are different for different men. Some men are attracted to, or even prefer, plus-sized women, while for others that's a deal-breaker.

It depends on the man and woman. Taking into account individual variation, I actually doubt men and women are different at all in the way you are suggesting. It’s not something I’ve observed with myself or my female friends on or offline. Sometimes there’s not an initial attraction or spark, but after deciding to give someone a chance or building a friendship, those things develop, so it’s not always an either/or thing.

For myself especially as I get older, personally matters more and more. I use to say looks first then personally but now it's more the opposite. I am willing to look past a lot of things if someone is kind, accepting and respectful to me. I mean looks are a factor, I still have to find her physically attractive enough to have sex with her. If you're getting treated like dog sh*t what's the point in dating someone, really?

As a guy who lost 100 lbs, I suggest you do both at the same time. You can improve your diet and exercise, while still putting yourself out there and dating at the same time.

Otherwise, what may happen is that you'll get in shape, but you'll still have the lack of dating/social experience, and there will be a mismatch. Your body is an A+ and your social skills are an F.

Dating is a numbers game anyway. You may need to meet 99 people who aren't a fit to find 1 person who does. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll get it.

The obese person may have get rejected twice as much as a fit person, but the obese person who tries is still way more likely to get a girlfriend than the person who doesn't try at all.

This has not been my experience at all. I am 60 years old (and a woman) and I have had two long term relationships (14 years and 15 years), one short term relationship (9 months), and I have recently met someone and we have been together for about six weeks. I have never gone on dates with strangers. I find the idea of treating my personal life as if it was a series of job interviews very off-putting. The person I'm with is a friend of friends and when I met him at a small party I knew right away that I liked him. We only spoke briefly at the party but I later sent him Facebook messages asking if he wanted to get together sometime. I suppose I could have then discovered, when we met up, that I didn't actually like him, but I didn't because I think you can just tell. (Or he could have and could still decide that he doesn't like me.) I think that thinking of your personal relationships as a numbers game is actually not conducive to getting together with someone, because you are always judging the person you are on a date with and wondering if there is someone better. It's too impersonal.

This is very good advice, I above this message.

I care more about a person's personality than I do about their looks. Opps I've already said that. I've found that the best looking people aren't always the nicest people.