Wanting to reach out, but too tired to try?

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First off just want to say I was a member here YEARS ago and I guess I'm back out of... loneliness? I used to be pretty active here between maybe 2005/6 and 2009 or so.

Any way, I reached a point in my life where I feel lost. I've distanced myself from people for several years now. I used to be able to make friends fairly easily and maintain them, but I've let all of those friendships die off for whatever reason. I just wasn't interested any more in having friends. Part of that, I think, was that I had a girlfriend since 2015 and so I felt I had all of the interaction I needed from her. Here in the last couple of years we've really drifted apart and I'm pretty sure we've silently broke up, though we're "together" (that's more out of necessity for her because she doesn't have a car and relies on me for getting places. I still love her a lot but I know she doesn't love me).

Anyway....I haven't been lonely in years but now suddenly find myself to be just that, only I don't know how to dig myself out of it. Its like I've forgotten how to socialize. I'll want to talk to people but I end up saying "why bother? they're not interested". Or I'll spend some time writing a reply to something on social media only to turn around and delete it thinking "why bother?". And its like I KNOW what to do to get out there and meet people, but its like I'm just too tired to try. I didn't realize how lonely I was until the last several days or so. And its not like I'm looking for a girlfriend or anything, its like I just want...a connection with someone..or something. I don't know.

I don't know if I'm really asking for advice or what this post is even for. Part of me wants to say screw it and delete it but I think I'll just post it....maybe someone else is going through the same thing and can relate? I dunno. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore lol. Ignore this I'm just rambling. I don't know what I want any more I guess.

EDIT: apparently I've been a member since 2008...but I KNOW I was posting here when I lived in California and I moved here in 2006 so....??? Weird. Maybe I had a different name or something. Glad to see some members from back then are still here today