How do I stop feeling like my time is ''running out'' ?
I seem to think that not only am I doing this thing of trying to compare myself to others my age, having kids, getting married and so on. But I seem worry that doing it 10 years from now would be ''out of the question'' or ''too late'' to do it and a lot of people seem to do it still in their 20s and 30s and I seem determined not to have any regrets but because I'm still not currently in a relationship, I can't make that decision.
I also find myself worrying about health issues which I probably will never have in the future and thinking that the chances of dying are increasing more and more and people have told me before even during a crisis such as a pandemic that I'm only in my 30s, you do a lot of walking, don't smoke, eat a balanced diet and that I'm more likely to get killed in a car crash or be run over by a car and I don't seem to worry about that.
I believe that I can relate to what you're writing about. I too compare myself to other people, mostly of my age, but also those younger than me, and it feels like I'm so far behind everyone else. I have achieved nothing in life and I don't think I ever will. I will always be behind everyone else and that makes me feel incredibly sh***y.
I also worry about my health, even though there probably isn't any reason to do so. I worry mostly about my heart. Like everytime my pulse quickens I'm afraid that I'm about to pass out or even die.
Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.
How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,257
Location: Right over your left shoulder
Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.
How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.
Because we've decided some numbers are more special than others.
_________________
“Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas, this is part of our strategy” —Netanyahu
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
GOP Predators
Milestones do not tell you where you are. All they tell you is how far away the next place is.
How come then do we see in shops, balloons and cards with 18, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and so on ?
If those are not also milestones then I don't know what is.
Marketing.
'All I want for my birthday is another birthday!' -- Ian Dury
_________________
#ActuallyAutistic
Born 1964. Diagnosed 2023.
Oxbridge dropout. Sober since 1993.
There is a God.
mgurak
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 24 May 2024
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: Virginia, United States
As far as relationships go, I got engaged for the first time when I was 54. It may be too late at her age for us to have kids of our own but I'm not sure I could handle being the father of a newborn at my age anyway. She has kids from a previous marriage so I'm looking forward to being a stepfather and hopefully one day a grandfather. Even if she didn't have children I love being an uncle. My nieces and nephews may not be my own children but I try to be a part of their lives.
Healthwise I used to think like you do. I was absolutely convinced in my 20s that I would die in my very early 50s. But here I am at 56. I'm on dialysis but I'm determined to live to a ripe old age anyway. Knowing that you will probably never have those health issues you worry about is actually a good first step. Now the trick is to take that knowledge and use it to help you stop worrying so much. It's not easy but I find that taking the time to examine those worries in light of the facts really does help. Do it as often as you need to. And be kind to yourself as you do that. Your worries are coming from somewhere. Acknowledge that they exist and don't put yourself down because of them.
_________________
I wanna rock and roll until bedtime with the music kept to a decent level and party for an hour or so unless I'm with my trusted friends.
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