How do YOU define “Giftedness”?

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I can't judge the full-time Gifted program because my kids chose not to do it, but the kids they know who did ended up feeling quite disillusioned. It was as if they thought they would have academic or career opportunities in life which the others wouldn't have, whether that was stated explicitly or not. That wasn't true, at least not as a direct result of the program.

Of course it's great to be smart and that will always be an advantage in life or in one's academic pursuits. Of course it's also nice to bolster kids' self-esteem by pointing out their strengths if they're identified. I have no problem with that, especially for kids who also have learning disabilities or ASD etc. I guess my point is that enrichment programming can be done from home these days, without making an arbitrary "smart room" for withdrawal unless it's really equipped with something special. Most Gifted (big G or small) kids will find enrichment opportunities on their own even if it's in visual art, music, sport, leadership, community activism, etc.

I think AP classes are an excellent choice for high-achieving students because they're goal-directed and offer early placement in uni programs. That's something tangible. Both of my kids took AP level classes in high school and I taught AP classes for a while myself. IB programs (International Baccalaureate®) are also an option for some, although they're quite expensive and thus not accessible to all.

I was never afraid of failure. But I was not given the chance to find my own definition of success.


I was channelled into an elite university. I was never offered any career guidance of any kind whatsoever. It was simply assumed that I would "succeed" (see above).

Aunt Eller:
I’d like to teach you all a little sayin’,
And learn the words by heart the way you should.
“I don’t say I’m no better than anybody else,
But I’ll be damned if I ain’t jist as good!”

- Rodgers and Hammerstein - The Farmer and the Cowman (Should be Friends)

The same happened to me based on achievement, despite the fact Gifted programs didn't exist back then.

My son who is off-the-charts Gifted was also streamed into an elite uni / program.
Luckily, he wanted to go.
He also knew better than to think he was smarter or more equipped than anyone else.
He went to grad school and did very well with academic awards, but then what??
He's still limited by his autistic personality, so he wasn't comfortable going into the fields he originally envisaged.

My daughter was a different story because of her arts-based talents.
She didn't want to do arts-based degrees because it would suck the fun out of her interests.
She didn't want her art to become a prescriptive or academic chore.
She dropped out of several programs before publishing some books on her own.
She finally found a job she likes where her partial degrees weren't even needed.

Sometimes I think about a therapy session I had with a former therapist. I told her about my old school counsellor. How my counsellor would berate me if I didn't answer perfectly and how she hated the questions that I asked.

My therapist remarked that despite my counsellor considering my questions to be stupid - they actually showed advanced thinking at that age. I'm not sure if my therapist said that as a comforting lie or if she's correct.

I'm glad I wasn't labelled as gifted. That seems an awful lot of pressure. Although I did receive a fair amount of 'Oh, you're just being lazy. You're not stupid enough to really have such problems, you're faking it'.

I sure am glad that I will never have to repeat going through the school system.