the never-had-a-girlfriend boy

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Never had a girlfriend either. Welcome to the club.
But I feel that it's difficult trying to date when you're not attracted to a girl.
And I always felt that physical attraction isn't enough: a girl is attractive to you when you feel you really understand each other; and it's not easy to understand others, and when when people says you're an "unusual "guy, you feel it's like a wall between you and other people, not mention girls.

Still single myself, and that never changed during my hiatus around this site. I'm not really trying right now, because as someone else said, it gets boringly predictable when I do try. Even the feelings of attraction to women isn't what it used to be for me.

I'm also at a tricky age though, 21. Girls my own age and a year or two younger are dating guys who are 23 and 24. On the other hand, if I were to date a girl 3-5 years younger than me, I'd be dating someone between 16 and 18. Little bit young for me right now as they're in high school and not mature enough (physically, emotionally, and sometimes intellectually), but another couple of years from now they'll be in their 20s and more on par with me. It should work out.

It pleases me that as people get older, the number of girls making poor boyfriend choices really drops off. It's really a teenager thing, and that got me very bitter a few years back.

Don't look for a girlfriend. She will find you.

Then I think I forgot where to wait.

Pfft. I'd have more faith in that notion if women didn't look at me with a mixture of bemusement and pity most of the time.

They usually look at me with fear and desire.


Oh wait, no. That's geese, when I have corn.

http://www.incelsupport.org

It is better to be single than be with someone who treats you badly. I wasted alot of my time with the wrong people when i could have achieved more quicker without people I wasn't compatible with dragging me down. Don't rush anything--- being with the wrong person can put you further back (emotionally, financially, etc.) than simply being single.

Sorry, but that kind of advice just doesn't help. And don't think we haven't heard it a million times already.

Pretty much where I'm settling to.
That which has to be worked for,
isn't worth having.

Now, I just have to remember
to stay true to it.

My two best friends are super hot girls (knockout figures, great faces), but we're just friends. One of them, Roula, has a Playboy Bunny body (huge rack, tiny waist, great style), but we've known each other since we were kids...

So true

This is what a lot of inexperienced people are forgetting;
Relationships aren't some kind of utopia preferable to being single.
Being in a relationship means you have to make quite a lot of sacrifices.
And It's kind of pointless to sacrifice so much for a relationship that doesn't work for you.

If you're desperate for love, you're going to end up with the wrong people.

ive been by myself all the time, iv'e only just recently fallen in love with my one of best freinds lizzie, i have told her but she wasnt ready for a relationship its really annoying thinking that she'll be off with someone else when she knows ive fallen in love with her, ive talked to her every day on msn but i havent met her in three years and been able to speak to her ive really had enough of not being able to speak to her face to face instead of typing

Yeah, I've never had a date either, although I once came close. I think the most important thing one needs to ask a girl out is raw audacity. The basic self-control to ask. And to thrash out a relationship first. The best thing is to just perserveer, pour some beer...and to never admit it. You'd be suprised what you can get if you use the power of denial, even though she can read you like a book.

And the control NOT to frighten,
when you do ask.



Not sure what you mean here, but the more ambiguous the
situation, the safer it is. You start talking about a lifetime
together, before you live with one another, and you're
only asking for trouble.

If there were any women that were into the incompetent "playing dumb" approach, I would have a girlfriend right about now...

It's not so much that I'm completely freaked out at the concept (well maybe I am, but that's beside the point), but the fact that, owing to the general aspie traits such as "not knowing anything about the person in question going in" or "not being able to hold an NT-acceptable conversation for >5 minutes", I come off as completely incompetent. I know this completely, yet am powerless to stop it.