Does anyone here hate going to sleep at night?
I know what you mean. By the end of the day most days I feel like a spring with too much tension...I think if I didn't have that time to unwind from the day I'd break from all the stress. Sleep? Isn't going to happen...until I can wind down for a couple of hours anyways.
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toboo
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yup. i hate it. i postpone it doing the stupidest stuff. i tend to start cleaning at about 2am.
any time between 7pm and oh 5am it'll take me at least 2 hours to fall asleep. but during the day i'd have no problem. i hate it.
i have two kids. i can't sleep all day and be awake all night. luckily i function pretty darn well on little sleep. but it sucks.
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Toni
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wsmac
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I was telling my daughter last night that I'm tired of staying up til 3am every night.
We finished watching a movie around 1am then went to bed... or at least I did... she may have stayed up in her room for all I know.
I usually work the 3pm to 1130pm shift at the hospital.
A typical night will have me hanging around the hospital til 1am, 2am, 3am... then finally I am so tired I head home... or else people keep telling me to go home
Even on nights when I do not work, I still stay awake either on the computer, or playing my guitar, etc.
I've been thinking about it more in the last few months and I still don't understand it.
I'll wake up around 6am and either get up or lie back down for a couple of hours.
Then that night... I'll just keep finding things to do... it's sort of like I'm avoiding going to bed.
I actually feel reluctant... even uncomfortable with the thought of going to bed.
It could be that I sleep alone now, but even when I was married I had nights when I'd stay up for 24 hrs or more.
What I'd really like is to go to sleep before 10pm, and get up at 4, 5, or 6am.
There was a time when I was getting up an hour or two before everyone else in the house and I really liked that quiet time.
Up in Fairbanks, I used to stay up late or wake up late and I'd go for walks outside in the winter.
I really loved the cold on my face when I'd do that. Plus, living outside of town... it was dark and quiet.
I do worry that my sleep habits are doing harm to me. I'd just like to get a regular, continuous 8-or-so hours of sleep every night.
I don't have a problem falling asleep, btw, my former wife used to complain that once I'm in bed and my head hits the pillow... I'm OUT!
So I don't think I have some kind of sleep disorder... just some crazy 'fear' of going to bed I guess.
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I spend a few hours just "thinking" before I go sleep.
I only hate going to sleep because it means I either have School tomorrow, and/or I have to come off the laptop and stop talking to my boyfriend. Who I'm unlikely to be able to talk to 'til lunchtime, or after school. *sigh* Stupid school. Stupid distance.
wsmac
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Thinking about it a little more I can say that the feeling I get when I know I should be going to bed but don't... it's more like an obsession to stay awake.
It seems similar to when I'm eating some sort of snack or candy... I can just keep dipping into the bag/bowl and keep on stuffing my mouth in rapid succession even though I'm not hungry and do not need to be eating at that moment.
It's just an obsession with eating that damned candy or whatever.
I can think about how I should stop, but there is something going on in my brain that overrides that logic.
Same thing when I'm up really late and every once-in-a-while I think, "I shouldn't be doing this... I should go to bed now", or "If I had gone to bed instead of getting on the computer I could have been asleep for 2 hrs already", yet as soon as the thoughts are done, my mind goes back to focusing on whatever it is I'm doing, or else looking for something else I can do instead of going to bed.
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ButchCoolidge
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A lot of times I hate it, although not so much because I have trouble going to sleep anymore, which used to be the case. In my years of drugging/drinking, I came to associate nighttime with freedom from responsibility. Even though I am now sober, I still feel much freer at night due to this association. So, when I am up at say, 11 or 12, even if I want to go to bed, I want to stay up because I feel so much freer then than I do at other times of the day, most notably when I wake up in the morning. When I wake up in the morning, I feel the opposite of free. I feel like I am a rat on a spinning wheel and I have to wake up for one more go-round, and all of the tremendous pressure that I always put on myself to do the right thing and to be productive comes crashing down on my chest and head. So, I both hate going to bed and waking up. It really sucks, but I'm working on it.
If I stay up too late I end up feeling anxious that I am going to be too tired the next day. Although in the past few years (of many sleepless nights) I realised that even an entire night without sleep doesnt do too much harm and I have become more relaxed about it - ironically through sleeping badly. When I was married I slept very well, but it was very rigidly controlled by me - a certain time each night, earplugs even if it was quiet, husband had to be there too (otherwise I would worry about waking up when he came to bed), but at a suitable distance from me (I hate people touching me when Im trying to sleep). Before being married I had problems getting to sleep - even as a child I would stay awake for an hour or two worrying about things or just daydreaming. Now I sleep perfectly, but I think its due to the medication.
It is a struggle to fall asleep everyday for me. For some odd reason I just can't find a good position to sleep in. I try to go to sleep around 10 or 11 every night but sometimes it takes me until 1AM to fall asleep! Then during the night I keep on getting up! Some nights I do sleep the whole night through though. There are times where I get bad insomnia and sleep 2 hours and other times where I get severe hypersomnia and sleep for 14 hours straight. My sleep patterns are not normal. It would be easier if I didn't have to fall asleep at all but my meds put me to sleep and make me tired all day long.
ButchCoolidge
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Joined: 22 Sep 2006
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It seems similar to when I'm eating some sort of snack or candy... I can just keep dipping into the bag/bowl and keep on stuffing my mouth in rapid succession even though I'm not hungry and do not need to be eating at that moment.
It's just an obsession with eating that damned candy or whatever.
I can think about how I should stop, but there is something going on in my brain that overrides that logic.
Same thing when I'm up really late and every once-in-a-while I think, "I shouldn't be doing this... I should go to bed now", or "If I had gone to bed instead of getting on the computer I could have been asleep for 2 hrs already", yet as soon as the thoughts are done, my mind goes back to focusing on whatever it is I'm doing, or else looking for something else I can do instead of going to bed.
I identify with this a lot. I don't have trouble falling asleep once I decide I want to go to sleep, but I have issues with actually putting myself to bed because once I am "in the zone" on the computer or playing a game or reading or whatever, I want to keep doing it.
I can relate to your issues, I was a terrible insomniac until two years ago, now I'm so busy with work and the kids that I'm often ready to collapse.
I can't go to bed awake and fall asleep, I have to be almost asleep when I get to bed, and walk into my room with my eyes closed etc.
Do something boring like read a book just before bed - NEVER be on the computer just before bed. It will help.
Mikomi
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I can relate, though I had to stop. I was going on very little sleep and living on a completely different schedule than I should have been. Now I feel much better, though even reading this post makes me long for the quiet nights alone, sans interference from humans and phones. I also quite enjoyed and found myself very creative in those moments before I finally gave in to sleep, where I felt drunk of fatigue and my mind wandered calmly through very lucid thoughts. That is the only time I can write poetry.
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