I'm a depersonalized - and well adjusted - aspie. Living in Phoenix, hoping for the best and wishing for more - to no avail. I'm the son of a jerk, and son of a mother. I love them both yet - the one I relate to the most is the jerk because he teaches me the most about who I am and what I am. My choice in life is to be alone for now because, I can't seem to find someone that I can treat as I'd want to. I can't reach out and calm them because of my own fears and I can't seem to find a balance in life because of the depression/anxiety I feel day to day. I work in a job that keeps me active for the sole purpose of keeping me healthy. I use diet to my advantage to try to stop my symptoms from biting me on the butt.
My favorite color is green. My favorite pair of pants got a hole in the knee today - so I'm going to have to find a new pair that's exactly the same somehow. I seem to dwell every day in fantasy rather than reality and my only hope is that somehow - someday, I'll find the answer I'm looking for. But that may take a lot of soul searching..... But I'm sort of hoping that one day I can stand on top of a mountain, and actually feel the wind blowing on my skin - actually feel the sun on my lips... and know for that second, I am actually standing there, and that I'm alive.
But until then, i'll be around, searching for something or someone with no fresh idea's. With a grasp I don't have. With a answer I haven't seen. I'll try what I can and give up on what i don't need. But, I'm just saying hi. You can call me Nim, I'll be around.
08 Sep 2008, 12:21 am
