Secret message?

Post Reply New Topic

Ok so there's this girl I kindave like and we've hung out and played video games or watched a movie a few times, and it's always her asking if she can come over and play games or watch a movie all the time and I'll usally say no becuz I mean I like hanging out with her but I don't much want to interact with peers outside of school or the internet , but recently Ive wondering if there's some secret message she's trying to get across to me like that she likes me or something, or am I just looking to much into it. Btw I'm a sophmore and she's a senior

Without any more information on the matter.....I would say there's a pretty good chance that she has a crush on you. Usually, girls don't want to just "hang out" with one guy unless they're interested, especially if she is a senior. If you like her, invite her over, and things might just work out.

Hmm...it's possible she could have a crush on you, or maybe she seriously enjoys hanging out with you.

Do you have a casual way of finding out whether or not she has a boyfriend (such as facebook/myspace)?

Sounds like she's interested in you. Let her come over.

I'll just agree with John on this.

If you think you are looking too much into it, just relax and let things flow from there. If she's not interested don't take it so personally.

ok how should i confront her/ask her if she likes me or if she wants to go out

NO!! !! !!


Not right away at least...and if you do, don't put her on the front. Share some of your feelings as well but not too much. Just tell her you like being with her and then if she responds ask her if she likes being with you too and then let it go from there.

Who knows maybe she'll do the responding but don't force her to feel like she has to make a quick decision like that. Most females want to get to know their mate better IMO.

She almost definitely likes you. Lucky you.

Ok so today I accedently heard her talking to her ex who just broke up with his gf and she was telling him she still loved him and so he told her that he don't love her and that they were just friends and he wants to get back together with his gf whom he still loves and she started crying and he just left I wanted to hurt him so bad but I didn't and I went to my next class and was completly shutdown and I almost had a meltdown I didn't do any work that period at all and I wasn't even able to comfort her I hate myself

rightfully you should for being such a coward in light of her prediciment.

Oh my, I see some things happening here that you may want to remember. If a girl asks to hang out somewhere beside school, take her up on that. Just see where things go. Asking right off the bat whether they like you or not isn't going to get you very many places.

Although, it sounds like she just wants to be friends. I would still take her up on it. It's possible she likes you, but I wouldn't worry about it. It's high school, and most people in there are confused out of their minds. Just have her come over for some video games, or a movie, and leave it at that. She may just enjoy having someone to play games with and watch movies together.

You really need to quit thinking so much about it. Like, when she was heart broken, if you weren't thinking so much, you would have instinctively acted, by either comforting her, or going after him. Either would have won you some points in her book. This is the thing about relationships. You have to act, and put yourself out there. It's not always logical in how it works out. You need to understand that.

To be honest, now that you've given such a response, she may be a bit off-put to the idea of movies. If you let her know how you reacted to the whole scene, and how much it got to you, you might be ok. I would just tell her how seeing that happen made you feel, what you thought, and ask if she wants to come over. Just avoid pushing for a relationship at this point. The thing about AS is we may be a bit stunted when it comes to social skills, but we can make that work for us. Just tell her exactly what you felt, and how you felt it, and ask if she wants to come over to watch movies and play games, and leave it at that.

Might help to word it in a letter, but don't send it. This stuff is better said face-to-face. It would just be for organizing your thoughts.

ok so now im done im freaking done, so yesterday she was talking to me alot and asking me stuff and just hanging around me and stuff and i was in the middle of doing stuff but i was listening but i quess i wasnt talking as much as she probably wanted so today one of my friends (not anymore) who knows i like her, goes and asks her out, now apparently their bf/gf i cant believe this happens im shocked that one of my friends would be such a dick and im pissed at myself for not talking to her more

You're not the only one that has happened to. We Aspies are famous for totally blowing it like that. Look at this as a lesson learned the hard way and don't hesitate for so long next time.

Here's how I see it (hope I'm wrong)

Girl comes on friendly to you, while either close to or in the process of a breakup with her boyfriend. How to respond? Make him jealous? Hang around with other guys.

You're a nice guy. Maybe something could happen, if you shows some interest.

Meanwhile, she's trying to get the boyfriend back. It's not working. This is probably when you could try to comfort her. Maybe something could happen.

Since she didn't see any (well, for an NT) sign of you making the first move, when the other guy came along, she was ready for a 'fallback' guy, and they're together.

It happens to us all the time. It even happens to NTs. Maybe not so much for this generation, but in my time and earlier, women expected the guy to make the first move, unprompted. They set up the opportunity, but the guy has to take the chance. And they're perfectly free to turn the guy away, if they choose. They felt upset if they had to make a move; it looks desperate to them.

It doesn't feel fair, and it may not be, but now that you have some experience, you know not to do the same thing again. You can do it, so get back on the horse, you'll win in the end.