question for 'non-rich' girls

Post Reply New Topic

do you feel intimidate it if a rich guy takes you out to an expensive restaurant?

i just had dinner with this girl i like and when she saw the bill, she gasped and said 'wow, so expensive!'. i dont know if it's good or bad. i didnt want to intimidate her / made her feel poor. i wasnt showing off my wealth either. i took her to that restaurant because it was one of my favorite restaurants since i was a kid (i think it's been there for 30+ years). my parents used to take me there and i really loved the food. the price didnt matter to me.

(note: im not saying im rich. let's just say, im upper middle class and shes lower middle class)

Maybe she hadn't been there before, and was simply surprised about how pricey it was.

Ive gone for dinner in expensive resteraunts and I was not intimidated, but I saw it as a waste of money and I thought the food was not good enogh to cost the same as a weeks shopping. It also made me think that I did not have much in common with the guy and that we had very different values.

Im not representative of other people so I would not read to much into it. I expect your date would be flattered and like you spending money on her.

i hope so...this restaurant's good tho. i wouldnt spend money on an expensive restaurant if it's not good either...

^^Seconded.

Thirded... even if the food is good, it doesn't matter once you're done eating it... and since I don't see mealtime as a social occasion, I put less value on the taste of food...

I'll second that. My thoughts were always "I could make that for a lot less at home."

Eesh I wouldn't feel right about being taken out to an expensive restaraunt. It would make me feel very guilty that he spent that much on me because I'm not worth it

-edit- I think to many women the situation you describe would be heaven, though

Well, it was a bit tasteless of her to look at the bill and make a comment.

I'm not a restaurant person, don't ever go alone, but when I do go out with people, I always look at the prices on the menu and order the cheapest thing. Because I feel a sense of (unspoken) obligation towards whoever is buying the meal, in direct purportion to the cost. I've never been on a formal date, but image that if I did, I'd try to a) aim for a cheap place b) pay my half c) try and take him out the next time.

Of course, maybe the sense of obligation is why guys are "always" tryng to buy the girl dinner?

Like, I buy you dinner, now you let me put my hand here?

That's what I would be thinking, and trying to avoid. I'm not saying going out to a nice place is bad - but I think the old fashioned insistence on guy's paying starts the relationship on an uneven keel.

The guy says, I've got it. The girl says, I'll get my half. The guy should say, are you sure, cause I don't mind. And the girl should say, no really, I'll get my half. And the guy should say okay. You know, in my vision of a perfect, equitable world. (Then the guy should hold open the door for her on the way out.)

If she dosen't offer to pay, then she's fine with paying in another way. That's the way I'd see it.

Wow, paying in another way would never cross my mind!
Good thing I've never been on a formal date, either lol! Seems like I would have failed that test!

I would try to eat cheap and offer to pay my half though, but not out of trying to avoid a physical obligation but just becuase I feel like I should.

Yes, it is a bit intimidating to be around anyone who has a lot of money.

Even though it isn't always true....financial bliss = social hierarchy. Social hierarchy scares me into being something I'm not even when I do have something in common with them.

I think I identify with lotusblossom. I'm a bit of a miser and find money spent like that wasteful. But I could see how one would it enjoy on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings but when you need to draw the line.

I can't remember how many times when I when I was encouraged to spend money as if it were water. I'd go into a panick and tell them that it would cost more to use a silly card without actually paying for it and that it was a waste..

^These are the girls I use work with whenever I'd go on "shopping sprees" for free time. I couldn't help but notice that everytime I'd ask "Isn't that expensive?"...they'd jokingly comment that their boyfriend would take care of it.......

It's a good indication I guess, not a typical gold digger's sign.

Worry not, she wouldn't stop dating you because of your wealth.

or you could use it as a way to initiate another date. "i've got it" "i'll get my half" "how about this, i'll cover this one and you can cover the next"

i wouldn't worry too much about it. if you didn't act like "i'm the s**t, i'm so rich, look what i can buy you" and acted naturally, meaning you didn't look like you were going out of your way to find a really nice expensive place to bring her, then she probably didn't think much of it and was just surprised at how much it cost. the "you can cover the next one" idea might not be a good one in this case though, it could put her in an awkward situation because she may think she's expected to do something of similar cost and might not be able to afford it.

maybe the food tasted like pureshit and she was surprised you would pay that much money on something that taste like it came from the toilet.

I was trying to act... and said I would like some red wine. He bought a bottle of red wine. 'It's top quality," "The best," he said. I had half a glass and didn't drink any more. It was f*****g disgusting.

Yes...rich people have a strange taste in food like caviar, goose liver, and foods that don't look all that appetizing such as an animal with its head still on its shoulders....