How do you know if someone's joking?



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SteelMaiden
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11 Mar 2009, 3:49 pm

Sometimes people use sarcasm or they say something but don't mean it...they're just "joking".

How do you tell when someone is not telling the truth i.e. is just "joking"? I can never tell and I always take them seriously, getting myself worried and then the person that is joking starts laughing at me....


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protest_the_hero
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11 Mar 2009, 4:17 pm

That's a sense that I've slowly developped over 16 years.
They just seem like they're obviously joking. Or maybe they're trying to seem serious so it's more funny when they're like "Not! I'm joking!"



buryuntime
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11 Mar 2009, 5:02 pm

If I'm not sure, I just laugh no matter what. Sure I've laughed before when I was being made fun of but I heard some people just laugh off insults so I think that works out the best.



gina-ghettoprincess
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11 Mar 2009, 5:04 pm

Sometimes "jokes" like that are just cruel, like when boys ask girls out for a laugh then say, "I didn't mean it!" It's proper childish too.


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xalepax
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11 Mar 2009, 6:50 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
How do you tell when someone is not telling the truth i.e. is just "joking"? I can never tell and I always take them seriously, getting myself worried and then the person that is joking starts laughing at me....


Good question! I dont know it either as Im just as you are. For me its not natural to "think in joke terms" as I also take things seriously. I can get very offended if someone suddely say it was a joke, and by that time I already had built up some anxiety or whatever to what the person said and then suddenly I found out that all of it was pure bullshit!


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ImTheGuyThatDidThat
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11 Mar 2009, 8:02 pm

I dont have much useful to add..i have that problem
sometimes but even more so, and this happens way
too often, i say something that is not ment as a joke
and everybody starts laughing - when i re-think it i
realize it was funny in one way but not in a way that
had anything to do with what we were talking about.
And i tend to laugh at the wrong time or place, when
other seem to not think its funny i just loose it some-
times :)



Homer_Bob
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11 Mar 2009, 8:38 pm

If they say something with a smile on their face or a real obvious sarcastic voice, then that's usually how I can tell if someone is joking. I have a hard time detecting sarcasm if they joke with no change in their tone of voice.



Polgara
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11 Mar 2009, 9:10 pm

I had a really hard time with that, myself.

If they say something that seems out of character, that they normally don't say, it may be a joke.
If they tell you to do something unusual, that doesn't make sense to you, it may be a joke.

For example, if somebody is sharing treats, and some falls on the floor, and they tell you they are all out and you should get yours off the floor, that's unusual. And it's a joke at your expense.

If someone asks you out on a date and tells you to meet them somewhere weird, it's probably a joke.

If they say the LOVE something you have heard them say they hate, it's a joke.

Use logic and analyze. A remark that doesn't fit is probably a joke. Ask yourself if it makes sense.



TheKingsRaven
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12 Mar 2009, 3:17 pm

Unless its obvious I can't tell, but my friends know that and nudge me when I miss a joke.



SteelMaiden
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12 Mar 2009, 4:16 pm

Thanks. I will try and apply these ideas to such situations.

I have one ex-patient (from the hospital) friend who jokes around with me a lot. It just scares me and I wish he would stop doing it.


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jamesp420
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12 Mar 2009, 11:21 pm

I really don't know how to tell if someone's joking, but I can almost always tell. I'm also always joking around myself, which idk if thats normal for an Aspie as I've honestly never met anyone else with Asperger's.


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Arcanyn
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12 Mar 2009, 11:42 pm

I have trouble telling when someone's not joking. Often when I observe other people saying something spiteful, bigoted or whatever, my initial instinct is to assume they're joking, because surely nobody could be so mean spirited as to say things like that and not be joking. However, after seeing them go at it for a few minutes I can usually deduce that they are in fact not joking, by studying the context of their sentences and noticing the absence of such features as wit or irony, at which point what faith I had in humanity is somewhat diminished.



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13 Mar 2009, 2:58 am

Quote:
How do you know if someone's joking?


I don't. It leads to many misunderstandings.


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13 Mar 2009, 7:24 pm

It's tricky sometimes, unless they're being obvious about it.

It helps if you've had the opportunity to observe the person for a while. If he/she pranks and says silly things quite a bit, then the chances are high that they will eventually try to pull one over on you.

I work with a guy like this, who jokes quite a bit. When I'm not sure if he's joking or not, I don't let on to him; I just give him a 'quirked eyebrow' expression and wait to see how he responds. If he starts fighting back a grin, then I know whatever he's saying is a bunch of bull.

Sometimes, it just pays to wait it out silently. :wink:



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14 Mar 2009, 2:17 pm

As time has progressed, I've noticed a certain tone of voice and body gesture, as well as choice of words when someone is joking. It's hard to explain, but I can usually tell if someone is joking now.


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