Do you generally do what you want?

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I've become noticeable to NT's to say the least, this has recently been sourced down to my inability to react to social cues and acceptance. NT's have attempted to make it known to me but I unable to understand and therefore unaffected. I've become aware of their non-verbal attempts to make it known to me, laugh, smile and move in close proximaty towards me. I've later become aware that this is a tool used to make me aware of their presence and to put me down, make themselves known that they're better than me, regardless of intelligence or education.
I misunderstood laughter for happiness and smiling for positivity, and of course I often returned the favour by smiling also, when required and often as a result of social phobia.

Apparantly my' smile' reaction was misunderstood for superiority, the NT's attempt to make me afraid of them failed. And a smile accompanied with it shows to them the extent of the failure. I believe they had mistaken it for intelligence too, those that aren't afraid aren't afraid of those of lower intelligence.
To impact the effect on them further, as always I was being genuine, I wasn't acting to compensate the reaction.
As I had mentioned previously in a post, their failure to do this had caused a great deal of confusion and failure within them, on one occasion I was talking to a customer throughout. Smiling on all occasions due, the customer in respect was aware I had no affect on him, even though for the previous years it was succesfull for him on all attempts.
On this occasion he chose an aspie, I noticed thoughout the conversation that he was struggling for breath, tried to convince me he was intelligent. And had the look of defeat, he mistaken my non reaction and smiling as superiority, intelligence, whatever it is the NT was seriously shook up and shook my hand afterwards, wwoooowww.

The reaction was similar to all the staff within the company I work for, they knew I was unnaffected, genuine and further to impact their poor minds. I smiled at them and other customers, aaaahhhh.
The manager couldn't confront me becuase he was scared, he was stumbleling in his speech, not a reaction that I wanted to see. I'm not intent on harming anybody.
Even though I am slightly aware of it, I'm more than convinced I am more intelligent than these stupid creatures. Who all share the same opinion and who cannot be genuine and who do not have any interests other than work and home. Restrictions are in place within the NT community, by having the freedom to do what I please the restriction doesn't seem to apply to aspies.

On a few occasions though, I have attempted to see the logical side of it. And attempted to ridicule or place my opinion on what I believed I could see. It doesn't work, NT's are very cruel and are intent on making themselves look much more superior. It goes against all religious qualities that I know of, perhaps NT's are a product of Satan's creation, all following the qualities set out by the devil himself.
I've become vocal over the matter, confront those that I feel are stupid which applies to all NT's. And make it known to them that it is wrong and incredibly dumb and immature. While it had risked my job the extent of their belief in national belief was very apparent, it doesn't work.

Do you often do what you please, and are their restrictions that you follow set out by NT's? Identical lives and behaviour is often very apparent within the NT community, it is also incredibly boring and annoying for me.

i live how i want to live.

I try to do what I want to do and never do what I don't want to do. Sometimes I have to compromise because I don't like to hurt anyone. I am the matriarch of a very large family which means many responsibilities. I chose this life, and played along with everyone for so long, doing what was expected of me, going here instead of going there, doing this when I wanted to do that, all to keep the peace and make everyone happy. Not always, but too often I'm afraid. This has come back to bite me hard, as now they have come to expect me to continue as always and because I am saying "No, I don't want to do that," or, "No, I'm really not interested in going there," they seem to think I am just deliberately being difficult or that I have suddenly gone crazy. I am the same person I have always been, but since learning about Asperger's and understanding why so much of my life was lived in a subordinate status, not so much with family, but with others outside the family circle, especially in the workplace, I have a strong urge to make up for lost time and find the lost me. Please don't think this is a sob story, it's not. It's a thank god I'm not going to my grave clueless story.

Within the limits set by financial considerations, my conscience and the laws of physics, I do what I want.

In a way. I'm not really bothered what the mainstream population do.
After hanging around with people for a year at school I got fed up of having to follow 7 people constantly and decided to do what I want when I want. It's minor, but not to me. I get to go where ever, when ever at lunch time. Usually it's the computer room, but if I want to read outside, then fine, and I don't constantly have to worry about doing something wrong in a friendship group and having to agree to stupid things(like 7 people sitting on a four-seated table, as opposed to the free, 8-seated table right next to it) or talking about subjects I find boring and shallow.
I tried doing what I wanted inside the group,(cuts long story) but in the end they didn't like the me not following their 'follow-our-stupid-awkward-ideas-which-in-under-no-circumstances-are-we-willing-to-change' attitude.
EMZ=]

The irony is that we are TOLD that when someone tries to put you down, you should just not let it get to you, and you are doing just that without even having to try! That's a good thing.