telling them

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So I have a friend who I was growing really close to but within the last couple of weeks we have grown more and more distant. Even though we still do things together (as a matter of fact im spending the weekend with him since were off of school but that was arranged several months ago so im not sure if it was just because he didn't want to be rude). Anyway I think that part of the reason is that he's become friends with the person who lives next door to me. once I joked with my neighbor about whether he wanted to be my best friend and the friend whom I am growing apart from said that he was my best friend but he later recanted. at first I thought he was joing but he's said it a few times now and it seems more serious. while I would like to be his besty if he doestnt want to that's fine. my question is do u think that after talking to him to see if anything is wrong I should tell him that I have AS? I've met with a psychologist a few times to discuss AS issues and he's many tims suggested it but im afraid of what will happen if I tell him. help

Your instincts are probably right more often than not. They are certainly not 100% right, but enough that you should listen and consider them. A lot of people, especially men, would be turned off by an attempt at a heart-to-heart at the wrong moment. I don't know how important that is in your situation.

Well, speaking for myself, almost every time I tell someone about the AS, things change drastically, and not for the better!

someone once told me, when I was so worried that others might find out I was AS, was this "Well, they know SOMETHINGS up with you, anyway."

might as well tell them. It might explain a lot of things to them. However, the hope I once had that 'if they only knew they would be nicer to me' has really never actually happened. They just know that I wasn't intentionally bugging them.

Merle

Don't tell him that you have AS; it will just make you seem really weird to him.

If he already calls you his best friend, then he most likely knows you well enough to know that you are a bit different, and he likes the difference for some reason and has accepted it in you.

It doesn't matter how you word it - introducing "autism" into a relationship that is going well will only cause problems. Personally, I had a couple of my good friends take the Aspie test and then showed them my result, and they are still treating me differently then they had previously.

The difficult part about this is paranoia; just don't let it show and carry on like normal. Supposedly, every friendship goes through ups and downs, because NT's get bored of 'hanging out' with the same people all the time. If you keep questioning them about whether or not they are your friend, they'll see you as insecure which is an equivalent to telling them that you have AS.

I hope this helps,

~S_O_S~

I wouldn't bother telling him, since it doesn't really have any bearing with your interactions with him. Well, unless you've been very affected when around him and you'd like to stop having to do that.

In my case, everyone's just considered me "weird" for so long that I have to constantly remind them I have AS, especially at work.

Does anyone know if AS is covered under ADA?

Well said.
***

Just remember that once the cat is out of the bag.....you don't get to stuff it back into the bag again...when you realilze you may have given more information than was needed or wanted...it's too late to change your mind.

Let the chips fall where they will. IMO your #1 responsibility is to make yourself happy or fulfilled. No one else can really help much with that. Friends are nice when you have them, but your happiness should be derived from being true to yourself.

So my advice is to work hard on loving who you are... on sculpting your life into a reflection of That.

Having AS becomes a problem for many ofcourse.
Telling someone is basically what you think about the situations going on. If you feel its right to tell them then do so, if you do not then just leave it as it is.
If you think the person can handle it then tell them, its going to be a temporary fact that you have AS depending on yourself.
If you do not want to tell them and you like the idea that you just know him as someone then don't tell him anyways.
What you could do is at least find any way to prevent contact with you and your friend of that person.
People are people, they'll have to realize something on their own, either way something is going to happen and maybe there will be someone that is feeling down in the end. It's important for whoever takes action first you know? . . .
Good luck and, there is nothing wrong with trying and the things that you are trying.

I have 'protected' status under the Family Leave Act. I get to take my vacation time when ever I can't hack it at work. They set it up where I could actually o what ever I wanted since I get top honors for punctuality, adherence, accuracy and (believe it or not) my clients rave about me to my bosses. I might go for a leave of absence if I can get some money ahead. I hope so because keeping up the 'being perfect because I am terrified of being fired' is killing me.

Merle