Forgiveness/letting go or justice/revenge? What's better?

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donnie_darko
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18 Apr 2011, 8:04 pm

From my experience, most people value forgiveness, but only for minor things, like saying a verbal insult or maybe stealing something. Most people feel like murderers and rapists are 100% evil and deserve nothing but pain, hate and misery, and should not be allowed to feel sorry for what they have done.

I personally believe that everyone deserves unconditional love, and if possible, a second chance. For nobody was born evil, we are all the same, it is our circumstances that shape us.



MCalavera
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18 Apr 2011, 8:10 pm

I can let go without forgiving. Why forgive someone who doesn't want it?



leejosepho
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18 Apr 2011, 8:27 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
I personally believe everyone deserves unconditional love, and if possible, a second chance [and should be allowed to feel sorry for what they have done]. For nobody was born evil, we are all the same, it is our circumstances that shape us.

"Unconditional love" does not mean "no punishment", of course, but yes, everyone deserves an opportunity to change ... and even if/when incarcerated for life or even on death row. One of the worst things that ever happened in my life was when I was a young 'teen and I heard a man tell his story of all the evil things he had done when he was younger and that he had since been forgiven. In my own mind, that gave me license to just go do as I please for as long as I could get away with it ... and I did.


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hale_bopp
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18 Apr 2011, 8:35 pm

I think forgiveness is the answer, but it's something to be struggled with especially for really really horrible things. I have trouble forgiving people for minor things and it's probably half the reason for my health problems.



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18 Apr 2011, 8:37 pm

I forgive, but I don't forget. I spent much of my life being mistreated. Letting go of all that was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Some things perhaps aren't forgivable though, but it is still best to move on and not let anything in the past consume you


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Fnord
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18 Apr 2011, 9:39 pm

Forgiveness? What a concept!

I prefer to outlast those who've harmed or offended me, then remind those who knew them of exactly how mean they were.

This is kinda easy, especially if the only encounters you've had with such a person involved harmful or offensive acts on their part, and doubly so when you can produce valid documentation to back up your claims.

Of course, if someone ever issues a sincere apology, then I feel the obligation to at least act as if I've forgiven them, but let them screw up just once more, and ... :twisted:


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blauSamstag
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18 Apr 2011, 10:37 pm

As a christian, I was unable to forget but was commanded to forgive.

As an atheist, I find that in most cases holding a grudge or seeking some sort of vengeance is really exhausting, and turns me into something i don't like.



iamnotaparakeet
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18 Apr 2011, 10:50 pm

How about when somebody wrongs me I just bombard their planet from orbit with myriad salvos of 50 megaton nukes 490 times over and call it even?



AceOfSpades
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18 Apr 2011, 10:54 pm

An eye for an eye and the other for the inconvenience.



Master_Pedant
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18 Apr 2011, 11:06 pm

Most definitions of "justice" I have seen do not equate it with revenge and, as a matter of fact, it is usually defined in a way that is compatible with forgiveness.


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18 Apr 2011, 11:09 pm

iamnotaparakeet wrote:
How about when somebody wrongs me I just bombard their planet from orbit with myriad salvos of 50 megaton nukes 490 times over and call it even?


Personally, I use the Molecular Disruption Device (the Little Doctor... :) )a la Ender's Game. There is only a pile of dirt left over, and whether they got the message or not becomes irrelevant :)


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Raymond_Fawkes
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19 Apr 2011, 12:04 am

I forgive but I never forget .. I hold grudges.. It's a drawback.



Jacoby
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19 Apr 2011, 12:25 am

never forgive never forget



ruveyn
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19 Apr 2011, 4:55 am

revenge is a dish best eaten cold.

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LadyGray
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19 Apr 2011, 4:56 am

Justice over all.


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ruveyn
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19 Apr 2011, 5:01 am

LadyGray wrote:
Justice over all.


Don't hold your breath.

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