Ever broken a bone during a meltdown? Tips to prevent it??

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Hi there, I have broken my 2nd bone in 3 months from a meltdown. This time my finger from flailing my hands into the dash board. Previously I broke my wrist from punching it into the floor. I'm late twenties and never done this before until just now. I have hurt myself a lot though just no broken bones. I dont know what to do but its scaring me for my future.

I also date someone who, when i have a meltdown, screams at me and pushes me and it drives me over the top with meltdown rage and such---They also refuse to leave me alone when i ask. Theyve promised to get better...they just havent. I dont know how much more I can make it clear that it isnt effective. Still it isnt their fault I have autism.

How to help? orYou too?

I have never broken any bones but I do have a history of breaking stuff. When I really get into meltdown mode I beg whoever is around to leave me alone and generally they do not. I usually just end up freaking out, crying, rage and screaming. My instinct is to get into bed and be alone with my self hatred. If that does not happen I try to leave. If I am unable to leave and the person I am with will not leave me alone that's when I start smashing stuff or go into a suicidal panic. I really believe that if I could be left alone when I reach the point of no return that everything would calm down and de-escalate and then maybe things could be dealt with later.....much later.

exactly. I also go into a suicidal panic, I feel the deep immediate urge to kill myself its so overwhelming it feels like the only reasonable answer and like Ive put it off my whole life and it must be done NOW. It doesnt help when people are there not leaving me alone and staring at me like I am a circus animal

I know this may sound harsh, but I think both of you need to break up with whoever you're dating--at least for a little while so they get the message. They need to know how important it is for them to leave you alone during these meltdowns; it's dangerous for you, and it's dangerous for them. I've had a significant other who was VERY unhealthy for me, and I can tell you that whoever you are with, no matter how much they may seem to love you and be good for you, is not worth putting yourself and others in danger. I'm horrified at the way they treat you.

Ynnep--I just realized I misunderstood what you wrote. Only Brown06 should break up with whoever he/she/it is dating.

Yeah Ive tried that, Ive tried to be as clear as I could. I broke up with them for a couple weeks hoping things would change and they did but went right back into it. Its like we have the same conversation on a loop where things are promised to change and they dont. I wish I could feasibly leave but bc of my finances I'd have to basically drop out of school and move across the country back to my parents tiny duplex---id have to lose my entire life as i know it basically. I am hoping things get better in time, or if they dont, then by next year i will be financially independent anyway

its just the now that is so so so painful and disappointing. Last meltdown they screamed at me, shoved me, and called me psycho. Thats the one i broke my finger on.

ive even sat down and shown them informational videos on what goes on during meltdowns, how not to take them personally, and what to do. They are very well educated on what to do. I constantly say "YOU have to be the bigger person b/c I am not able to be" and even during my meltdowns I will say "I AM NOT HERE RIGHT NOW" to make it clear that arguing and screaming and attacking me isnt helping their case b/c Its not me thats in control, its the meltdown.

I dont know where to put my rage or pain and i lose control and hit as hard as i can against things and such

Yes, the knuckle connecting my right middle finger to my hand. Solution: do not punch soft things if they are very close to hard things. Also, if you can get a punching bag, it substantially raises the threshold for meltdowns, or at least it did for me.

Is this guy supporting you? Because if you are sharing expenses, find a share arrangement with someone else, preferably another woman (less relatioinship drama). Your safety is worth the effort to make alternate arrangements. A lot of destruction can be done in a year by a partner who will not accept reasonable boundries.

Yes I have done that twice myself
one time maybe broke my nuckle punching a mirror...in a total meltdown.
and another time I punched a inflatable bed that was flatter than I thought and ended up punching the concrete floor below and broke my hand. That really hurt.
I had an art project duein art school and my teacher was an evil sadistic b*st*rd that would tell me how great I was doing, then land me with a C over trival crap...anyway, I had a few hours left and my art project was not going as planned plus it was due that night. All the sudden, I just nutted up screaming, throwing stuff and then punched a barely inflated bed and broke my hand...I even heard a crack sound.
Then I was like....crap!!
Well ironicly, it worked out well. I just happened to break my right hand...and I am so right handed that it is crazy. I type only with my right hand and can type pretty fast too...back to the story.
So mom got a speeding ticket going 95 in a 55 to come and pick me up...cause I was 2 hours away and she made it there in about an hour...she took me to the ER. and they found that I broke it where most people break their hand punching inmovable hard objects...on the pinkie finger side of the hand.
Well because my hand was in a brace for he rest of the quarter, my teacher gave me an A by default on all the projects I did with my left hand, after my mom explained that my left side is weak from partial paralysis on that side as a kid. It is better now, but still weaker than my right side.
I didn't tell the teacher how or why I broke my hand.

As far as the mirror thing....I was young and dumb and blindly in love....and had the hormones of a rabbit and mom busted me making out with my boyfriend behind an abandoned building. I was not supposed to be dating him, seeing him at all cause mom thought he was "trouble waiting for a place to happen"...which he was cause after I broke up with him, he was caught plotting a school shootout with me and a guy I was dating as the main targets.
whew..that was a close one.

Anyway, I have long since given up dating because of my spetacularly bad taste in partners.
But back to the mirror and breaking my nuckle....sorry
Anyway so when mom busted me...after she left me in the car to go in the store. I was soooo mad because she really hated him and refused to let me see him (for good reason) even to the point of embarassing me by tracking me down like the over protective mother bear she is.
Well I threw a ringtail fit complete with hair pulling, scratching myself and then I punched the passenger side visor mirror and it hurt real bad and swelled up big and red. I never told mom about it and kept gloves on cause it was winter...I am not sure I broke it. It look broken and I could not use it for a while, but I knew if I told mom about how I did that and why...she would get really mad at me and I would be further grounded.

Anyway. I also broke my finger catching a frisbee and my big toe getting it caught in a deep crack in the sidewalk while racing a friend while wearing sandals.

Anyway as far as what to do about it.
Well for me, now when I meltdown, if I am at home...I just wail the crap out of my pillow.
And when I am not home or near a pillow I try to get into a dark quiet place if possible to minimize the overstimulation and try to calm myself before it reaches that threshold of where I cant stop it.
But the most important thing is to try to prevent them in the first place.
If you feel you are about to meltdown...try to get somewhere dark and quiet to calm down cause overstimulation goes into overdrive during a meltdown...so decreasing excess stimulation can advert a meltdown...if you can get there before the threshold is reached.


As far as the boyfriend....chase him out of the house, lock the doors and and put in earplugs.
Then you need to call someone after the meltdown to deal with him.

I suggest moving in with someone else, like above poster said about female roomate.
If he tries to follow you, put a restraining order on him


Jojo