Do you like or get along w/ LGBT (as in any) better?
...than heterosexual or cisgender people? If so, why do you think that is? I saw a thread I now can't seem to find, I believe on here, where someone said they believe LGBT people are often more respectful because they have to earn their respect in society as opposed to taking it for granted as heterosexual cisgender people may. (Something to that effect)
My own personal experience as reflected that belief about 80 to 90 % of the time, though I bet I got lucky at least some of that time.
Also, do you think your AS (if applicable) may have anything to do with whether you find it easier or harder to associate with LGBT people? If so, do you further find it easier or harder to be around gender-variant people as opposed to people who are cisgender & LGB? For me, the sequence is transgender/genderqueer (gender-variant) of any type > LGB > cisgender heterosexual.
Same (and for reference, I'm a trans guy). I think part of it for me is a basic safety level; I'm able to feel more comfortable around other people who aren't cis because then I don't have to worry about transphobia. I have experienced cis LGb people who are just as transphobic if not more so than the average cisgender straight person, so I can't always count on that aspect there, but overall I still feel that I get along with them better than with people who are both cis and straight.
I do have very close friendships with people who identify as gay and lesbian. It seems to be because we like the same movies, music, sense of humor, etc. They know I am supportive and love them for who they are, and I feel that they have been supportive of my quirks in return.
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Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer
I still haven't meet much queers. I should really go to the queer club at my university one day, but I'm too shy...
I know a pan-sexual girl who is really awesome! She's the only person I can honestly talk about how I feel feminine inside and that would love to date a masculine/dominant girl or a feminine boy. I think I'd get along better with gender-queers, trans and pan/bisexuals.
I think I have more difficulty identifying with gay men though. I knew 3 gay men and I couldn't relate with them as much. I understand straight guys more since I didn't knew I was pansexual before.
auntblabby
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i have found the bulk of LGBT people i've met to be at best cold as a well digger's knee to me. IOW they are not especially sociable to my type. aspie-ish gays were even more unfriendly to me. even straight NTs treated me better. if one lacks the gay currency [fluent social functioning and statuesque gymrat good looks] one is strictly SOOL with them, for the most part.
I've found myself disillusioned with the gay community because the vast majority of gay guys my age that I've met have been superficial party boys who only care about looks and would rather slam their dick in a car door than have a meaningful relationship that lasts longer than two weeks. I can tell you from experience that they would rather date a gorgeous as*hole than an average looking nice guy.
I've had three boyfriends, and all of them were way out of my league in the looks department. One of them was a model. Just when I started to wonder why these gorgeous young men wanted anything at all to do with a lump of coal like me, I found out that I was just a placeholder boyfriend until the guy they really wanted to date became available. Their idea of hanging out was showing up, having some sex, and leaving. I don't demand complete and utter commitment right up front, but it would be nice to have something slightly more substantial.
And do you suppose that they ever had anything at all interesting to talk about? Any personality whatsoever? Take a guess.
The straight people I've known have been much more diverse. Some are pricks all around and some are nice, accepting people who I could and would gladly talk to for hours. With the gay guys I've known, it's been almost exclusively the kind I described above. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, they won't even look at you. And if you do, all they want is sex, preferably with three more guys waiting in the wings.
I once read a satirical article with thirty "theories" about why people are gay. One that stays with me is:
The "Mutant Genius Theory": Some highly evolved, cultured beings are put on this planet to steer human evolution and development. But if these people were to breed, it would cause humanity to advance too quickly, so they are born gay so that they don't. This theory presupposes two things: one, that we don't breed, and two, that we are highly evolved, cultured beings. The first premise is disproved by the number of gay and lesbian parents out there. As for the second, some of us are not, in fact, highly evolved, cultured beings. Some of us are, in fact, complete a**holes.
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--James
ive been around two different groups of queers. the first was friendly but i felt uncomfortable around them and the second i like and feel ok around because they dont mind the fact that im a misfit and a lot of them are too. i felt comfortable around both groups more than i do non-queers because i dont have to hide the fact that im bi around them though at the same time i feel comfortable around left wing political people for the same reason.
I find it hard to get along with most of the gay men. The majority I have met so far are extremely shallow and only tolerate the LGBT center as a way to pick up other gay men. However, the few gay men that I do get along with, are the best group I get along with.
I get along with lesbians and other transgenders too.
I think it's because I am a transman so the majority of gay men don't like that.
auntblabby
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I tend to get along with straight men better than gay ones, despite being a gay man. I've made an effort to put myself out there more and tried to get into the "scene" but it turns out I can't feign interest in conversations about Katy Perry's music. Ok that's not fair - straight convos can be just as trivial. I think I just feel more vulnerable around gay guys, given that there always seems to be an agenda or an underlying expectation. I could be at a party/bar talking to a guy who's in a relationship or a couple and mistakenly think it's safe to let down my guard. Wrong! Ten minutes later they're asking if I wanna come back home with them.
(Most) straight guys are totally non threatening socially. You just eat, drink, talk....no subtext. Love lesbians too - my two lesbian roomies are the best!
I really don't know any LGBT my age. I get along best with nerdy NTs and one guy who I suspect might have undiagnosed AS. I did go to a meeting of my University's LGBT association, but didn't find that I liked the dynamic. Everyone was far more flamboyant than me. And to be honest, I'm not really into gay culture.
Surely not all gay NTs are as bad as people describe? Surely there are some that are decent, it's just that they aren't into the scene and as such are hard to identify? I sure hope that's true anyway...