Starting a new job some advice please

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sharkattack
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07 Jun 2012, 7:10 pm

I am starting a new job in a warehouse and I am looking for some advice.

I have worked and this kind of thing for years until my job closed last year.

Aspergers means I talk too much at times and I have meltdowns when I get stressed.

This lead to me being bullied and disliked plus many other problems.

I am starting a job with a clean slate and I would like to keep it.

I am thinking my best approach will be to keep my head down and keep myself to myself.

Lunch times my plan is to get a newspaper and sit by myself.

It is only in these last few months that I matched up my symptoms to Aspergers.

Any opinions? my ears are open.

Thanks in advance.



johnny77
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07 Jun 2012, 7:36 pm

Try to be polite and curtios but tell you're coworkers that you keep work all profesional and you dont like making friends out of coworkers. Two that you dont joke around on compainy time. They are more likely to think you're dedicated to the job and thats the reason that you are stand offish. My opinion but there are others here that will probly give better advice.



Omnicognic
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07 Jun 2012, 7:36 pm

First of all, grats on the new job!

I can tell you from experience that warehouse is a good match as far as having little public interaction and a well established routine.. (you didn't specify your exact duties there) my experience as order puller, forklift operator were largely solitary and fast paced. I'm guilty of talking too much when I didn't catch myself but I'm getting better. Certain times are difficult such as talking to the driver of the truck I'm loading etc. Just gotta be aware of those trouble places and be mindful. At break, like any other trouble time be aware of the urge to overdo it.

If you feel overwhelmed and in danger of an open meltdown, try to excuse yourself to a restroom or quiet secluded spot in the warehouse.

My other trouble spots were slow days with makework/busywork I had trouble adjusting to housekeeping and other BS work..

Good luck! Hope this helps :D


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sharkattack
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07 Jun 2012, 7:50 pm

Thanks for the replies.

The job I am starting is order picker as we call it on this side of the pond.

In my last job I was a checker but I picked and did the forklift also.

Your right it is a good job for us if I can control my mouth.



questor
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07 Jun 2012, 10:03 pm

I disagree with one of the other posters. Don't tell people you don't want to make friends with them at work. That is offensive, and will definitely start you off on the wrong foot. Since you like to talk a lot you can't use the "I'm an introvert" gambit. Instead, just tell them that in this bad economy, with jobs hard to get, you are worried getting another one if you screw up here. Another alternative is to just tell people you handle stress better when you keep more to yourself.

In addition to newspapers, bring in books on topics of interest, or on stuff you are studying, or even a worship book. At some jobs I've worked, people sometimes brought in their Bibles to read on their breaks. I am a lifelong reader--since about the late first or early second grade. Once I learned how to read, I just started to devour books. They provided my only real escape from the problems at home and in school.

Everyone knows that some people are really into reading. This is not a strange habit, so it will be a good one to use to help you keep to yourself, as people don't do much talking when they are reading. :study:

Good luck with your new job! :D


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CuriousKitten
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07 Jun 2012, 10:23 pm

congrats on the new job!

I've found it helpful to make a point of greeting my co-workers with a cheerful smile and a happy but brief greeting when you encounter them for the first time of he week or day. Remember, people may not remember what you say, but they will remember how you make them feel -- make them feel good about seeing you. On Monday morning, ask how their weekend was, and have a short reply ready if they ask you the same. Keep it under a couple sentences

People are less likely to interrupt you and expect prolonged conversation if you are reading a book, than a newspaper, but either should serve the purpose.

If you feel a meltdown coming on, excuse yourself to the restroom or other quiet place, then after it is over, do a root cause analysis of what triggered it, so you can avoid, or work-around, the triggers in the future. If you can't get away, try deep breathing to focus and center.



sharkattack
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08 Jun 2012, 12:30 am

Thank you for all of the replies.
I am just about to leave the house now.
I will use a bit of common sense and remember less is more.

Thanks.



vanhalenkurtz
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08 Jun 2012, 1:12 am

Try to listen. Try to agree.

Keep your responses brief.

Good luck.

It's work.


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sharkattack
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08 Jun 2012, 11:20 am

Yes it took it all on board and I had a good day.

Being aware I have this condition has helped me a lot.



Omnicognic
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08 Jun 2012, 11:36 am

Cheers!

Glad to hear it went well. It didn't occur to me until I read CuriousKitten's post about having short prepared responses.
I use "canned responses" all the time when I have to deal with the public. I agree that a cheerful "How goes it?" or "what's happening?" Even a simple "Howdy!" goes a long way especially with a smile to help it along. Short and sweet is the ticket, plan ahead. :lol:


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sharkattack
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08 Jun 2012, 12:00 pm

Omnicognic wrote:
Cheers!

Glad to hear it went well. It didn't occur to me until I read CuriousKitten's post about having short prepared responses.
I use "canned responses" all the time when I have to deal with the public. I agree that a cheerful "How goes it?" or "what's happening?" Even a simple "Howdy!" goes a long way especially with a smile to help it along. Short and sweet is the ticket, plan ahead. :lol:


Being more aware now I have canned any talk about crap people do not want to hear.

I watched a Youtube video about an Aspie rambling on about his life his eyes keep on avoiding the camera and he repeats himself and gets sidetracked.

I do all this but seeing it from the other side really helps so his video was really helpful.

Having a site like this is truly a God Sent.



Amarikah
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08 Jun 2012, 12:58 pm

I'd add to the earlier advice that any book on worship will usually shut people's mouths. It may spark a question or two, but when it comes to religion in the workplace--people are generally very respecting of that sort of thing there. They don't want to get themselves in trouble.

I'd also agree that saying that saying that you don't want to socialize is a bad idea--saying that you have a hard time with work if you invest in the social aspect of it too much may help. That's my personal issue with work for sure, and here I am trying to work in the film industry. :hmph:



Rakshasa72
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08 Jun 2012, 1:10 pm

I totally agree with the reading material for breaks but, it doesn't always get me off the hook for being talkative. One of my big problems with bringing in the paper was that it tended to get me talking about politics wich is a pretty bad thing to do in the workplace. So instead I bring in Car magazines. I find Cars are a pretty safe topic for my work environment.



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08 Jun 2012, 1:27 pm

It really depends on your personality type as to how to handle it. I talk way too much also, and come across completely wrong sometimes, and it's hard to avoid a meltdown when I'm stressed. Here is what I do. When I notice that I'm talking to much or saying the wrong thing, I do bring it up. I say something like "I know, I talk too much. If I get on your nerves just tell me, it won't hurt my feelings, really". If I say the wrong thing, I say "That came out all wrong. What I meant to say is...." and just go on about it. For avoiding meltdowns I just keep reminding myself that it's the AS causing me to react like this, that I'm blowing it out of proportion and that I need to be someplace in private before I have a melt down. I tend to try and control my anger in public and try to only be rude or sarcastic or insulting to someone who I'm furious with rather than have a screaming meltdown. I remind myself that it's much more effective to appear calm.

You could also try and monitor everything you say, notice what you are going to say before you say it, etc. That's good to do at first so you get in the habit of noticing it, but it's very, very exhausting. I would suggest doing that at home or out in public in non work situations before trying it at work. It adds to the stress.

I'd be up front with the people you work with. When you are making small talk or something just mention "I'm really quirky. Don't take everything I say at face value. I tend to come across wrong, but thats ok, it's just how I roll". Then change the subject. Say it like it's a normal thing. Like you would tell them "Listen, I'm deaf in this ear so could you speak louder when you are on that side or try to talk to me on the other side". Not a big deal at all. If they ask questions, answer them.

Don't be too much of a loner. Be friendly and nice. Make small talk a few times, smile, then go sit by yourself with a book or something. If you have a laptop or ipod or something and look like you are in the middle of something, people tend to excuse that behavior more than just sitting somewhere reading. You can actually use an ipod or phone to put up an invisable wall around you nowdays. If you look like you are texting, people won't interrupt.


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Omnicognic
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08 Jun 2012, 1:44 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

You could also try and monitor everything you say, notice what you are going to say before you say it, etc. That's good to do at first so you get in the habit of noticing it, but it's very, very exhausting. I would suggest doing that at home or out in public in non work situations before trying it at work. It adds to the stress.


When I do this it results in long pauses and making me talk painfully slow to those trying to listen.. one of my personal failings that often lead to glazed eyes in the person I'm talking to... I'm not saying it doesn't work for some, but not something I was able to pull off. :roll:


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OliveOilMom
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08 Jun 2012, 2:06 pm

Omnicognic wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:

You could also try and monitor everything you say, notice what you are going to say before you say it, etc. That's good to do at first so you get in the habit of noticing it, but it's very, very exhausting. I would suggest doing that at home or out in public in non work situations before trying it at work. It adds to the stress.


When I do this it results in long pauses and making me talk painfully slow to those trying to listen.. one of my personal failings that often lead to glazed eyes in the person I'm talking to... I'm not saying it doesn't work for some, but not something I was able to pull off. :roll:


Yeah it takes a long time to be able to do it without pausing. Thats why I said to try doing that in non work situations. Explaining up front that you do things differently is probably the best, if it's obvious. You don't have to tell them why. As I said, you can tell them "Yeah, I know I talk to much/come across wrong/etc. Don't take it too seriously" and act casual about it, or you can tell them that you have AS which results in different wiring in your brain and it may take a second to process stuff. I only tell people my dx on a need to know basis, but then I only found out a few years ago and I'm 48, so I had learned to "grin and bear it" and "just deal with it like everybody else" because basically, I thought everybody else had the same troubles I did, and so there was no reason I couldn't do what they did. At least thats what I thought at the time.

If you do tell them you have AS, be casual about it. Don't act like it's a big deal or that you will get offended if they ask something or make a joke, etc. They will probably pick up on your attitude about it, whatever it is. You set the tone for how it's going to go. You can do a preemptive strike and get it all out, up front, first day at lunch time and let them know to ask you if they think you did or said something odd, and you will clarify, or you can handle each situation as it comes along. Either way, people would usually follow your lead if you are casual about it.


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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

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