manly men vs vulnerable effete men

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As for confidence, people tend to be confident when they're doing things they're good at. They tend to not be confident when they are forced to do things they suck at. I think this is a fairly universal trait. A fish will never be confident climbing trees and an elephant will never be confident swimming under the water. The only trick to confidence is to focus on the things you can do, not the things you can't.

Its' never been a realistic goal for me to be an idealized lover, and in my relationships lately, honesty has gotten the best of me, though what I am confident in is my indispensability among those I love as a free thinker and a student of the universe, people may not always want to see me, but I have little doubt they'll bring good questions my way. I love learning, and I'm sure enough that will distinguish me enough in time.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I understand confidence as marshall has said. confidence is built through success.
so I have more confidence in things i've been good at like, history, video games, firearms, money collecting, political knowledge. I follow those and learn and i've gotten decent at some.

I haven't had success in relationships, work or automotive. so I lack confidence in those. I also don't have much in social stuff given my failure to understand it. I am confident in my skills as a cashier and that I work hard at jobs.

women/people tend to concentrate solely on my relationship, work and automotive anxiety and say I have no confidence. except for women I dated in the past before I opened up to them about that stuff. in response I just prefer not to talk about automtovie, my degree or lack of being able to work in it. I would rather forget I have the degree cause to talk about it people say I lack confidence. I tried hard did my best and failed. don't see how that would build confidence.