Age difference.
What the hell
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The question has been answered... you are both legal, most people aren't going to care... my wife is 5 years younger than I (she was 19 and I - 24 when we met)... and our girlfriend is 18 years younger than I... no one is going to blink
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AngelRho
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What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
AngelRho
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+1. Younger people, I think, expect more from older people. Older people find it easier to take the driver's seat in the relationship.
nerdygirl
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My parents are 9-1/2 years apart. A couple from my church are 13 years apart (about 33 and 36 now), another couple from my church are about 30 years apart (about 55 and 85 now - the husband is older than the wife's mother!). It all works.
When I was 13, I dated a 17 yr old. (I shouldn't have, but it was more due to the guy than the age.)
When I was 14, I dated a 20 yr old. (We got along great, but of course he was more serious than I was and started talking about getting married.)
When I was 17, I was interested in a 23 yr old, though we didn't date.
Then later when I was 17, I met my husband. He is 3-1/2 yrs older. We got married when I was 21.
(No physical intimacy in these relationships before marriage, so no need to wonder about the legality of it all.)
Age difference obviously doesn't phase me. I actually think there are quite a few benefits to a woman being with an older man, and I will pass along those thoughts to my daughter when she gets to dating/marrying age.
i
Nah. As long as you both dig each other, I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, people getting hung up on age is just another crazy American social construct by people with too much time on their hands. These are the same clowns that gave us prohibition and the "war on drugs". Both have been an understated disaster for this insane country.
It actually used to be even in the early 20th century, that there was no such thing as teenage years. That you went directly from child to adult. Which meant that it would not be inconceivable for a man in his 30's to marry a younger girl even as low as 12. She bleeds, she breeds. I know, it's dirty, but there is much truth there.
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
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My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
__________________
And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
nick007
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Age: 41
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
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https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
Im sorry but I just think that it was wrong man regardless. Imagine if you were the parent
_________________
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ ! !
My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
__________________
And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,129
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
Im sorry but I just think that it was wrong man regardless. Imagine if you were the parent
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
The attitude of the parents, at least, in most USA states, has little to do with the legality of things... In most states, the state can press charges regardless of whether or not parents approve.
_________________
Yeah. I'm done. Don't bother messaging and expecting a response - i've left WP permanently.
AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
What the hell
Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.
In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).
Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
Well, like I said, in my case the first girl I dated post-high school was the same girl I'd been dating for some 4 years already. Our history went back so far our parents had to drop us off/pick us up for stuff or otherwise chaperone us. I'm not good at much in life, but I've ALMOST completely mastered the LTR!! ! Back in the day I thought hanging onto a gf for so long was really cool?nowadays, I look back on it as being totally pathetic. But that's another thread.
The other girl was someone I was well-acquainted with for some time prior to dating. It's not like I was going around different high schools looking for poor suckers to hook up with. I saw it as, "hey, I've known this girl for years, she seems interested in me, and she's a sweet kid. Why not?" I didn't look at it as any different than anyone college-aged.
"Legal" age varies by jurisdiction, btw. AOC in Mississippi is 16. I've never had sex with anyone under 18, anyway, and dating someone isn't the same thing as having sex with them. But I agree? What IS a 20+yo adult doing with a 15yo?
I'd be careful with that if someone INSISTS on doing it. I certainly wouldn't openly admit to "dating" if that were the case. Tutoring/mentoring, sure. Having a latte just before going to the HS football game, fine. You hang out because she grew up right next door and her parents used to hire you to babysit and you're still friends. GREAT. Once you call it "dating," it just gets creepy.
I briefly swapped spit with a girl I met doing community theater (and yes, it DID have to do with acting opposite each other in a production?I'm happily married). We first met when she was still in high school?come to think of it, she might have been 15 at the time. Doing the role was WEIRD because even though she was 20, all I saw was that teenager. I don't think I have it in me to deliberately pursue someone that age.