Why are so many Aspies asexual or genderqueer?

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I am...
genderqueer 15%  15%  [ 43 ]
genderqueer 17%  17%  [ 50 ]
asexual 8%  8%  [ 22 ]
asexual 9%  9%  [ 26 ]
genderqueer and asexual 10%  10%  [ 28 ]
genderqueer and asexual 10%  10%  [ 30 ]
none of the above 15%  15%  [ 44 ]
none of the above 16%  16%  [ 48 ]
Total votes : 291

wisenupjanetweiss
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24 Mar 2014, 12:25 am

I'm bigender, and grey-asexual (I guess. It's complicated for me), so I marked myself as both.

I think I read something on aspie girls being more inclined to feeling androgynous. So there could be a link, I guess.



Sashiku
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24 Mar 2014, 12:03 pm

I call myself the 3rd gender.

No makeup
No jewelry
LOVE dresses
Short hair
love cute things
have friends of both genders equally.

I really don't know where I belong gender-wise, but it's fine. As for my sexuality, I've been confused on that for years. I think I'm a pan-romantic asexual with homo-romantic tendencies. I tend to like people for their personalities, and even more so if they are intelligent and open minded. Gender doesn't matter much to me, nor does gender identity.



Wind
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24 Mar 2014, 6:51 pm

Probably to do with the fact we feel so alien and we don't feel a 'gender'. We just feel a 'something' and take that as being no gender or both gender.


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Outrider
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25 Mar 2014, 10:45 pm

I think we're more likely to be Genderqueer because a lot of us grew up with difficulty following the social norms and learning social skills equal to that of an NT, meaning overall this developed into a general non-conformity to most social norms and social values. A lot of us found it hard to adjust to the world and fit in socially, and our social rejection made us hate trying to adjust in the first place.

The question is, why should we try and take on our gender roles and behave appropriately for our physical sex if we not only become someone we don't want to be, but get rejected socially either way no matter what we do?

This mindset overtime develops into a dislike for gender roles and gender.

I am 15 and I guess you can say I'm "Genderqueer". My whole life i grew up being unable to relate to either sex. Other boys were very hard to understand or get along with. Girls were completely alien. The only reason I got along with and still do get along with males much better is not because I understand them like NTs do, I don't, but only because NT males are less social and take social mistakes much less seriously.

These feelings have only grown as I have begun to just hate gender roles and double standards. I hate being generalized and stereotyped as a male, and most of the time the things females say about me as a male are dead wrong for me personally. But I'm not a MTF either. Being a female wouldn't be any better, I hate gender roles and sexism in general, and would rather live in a somewhat androgynous society more than what we have now.

I like being male, I like my physical body, I just dislike the gender roles of masculinity placed upon me because of my sex.

I think society is just too black and white, especially when it comes to gender. It's always "male" or "female". "Masculine" or "feminine". Etc. My whole life I've always just felt like "neither" or "other".

Quote:
Probably to do with the fact we feel so alien and we don't feel a 'gender'. We just feel a 'something' and take that as being no gender or both gender.


Exactly.

Quote:
I put asexual but to be honest I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in all this


Same here. While I'm not Asexual, I do have a low sex drive and am much less attracted to other's physically compared to everyone else.

Quote:
I have difficulties fitting in a stereotype, and the slighest slip out of the norm is heavily noted and doomed by other people.


Just proof how much NT's are obsessed with clumping people into little categories and groups, and how any slight step outside of these groups, or even drifters who move between groups, are criticized. Some NT's seem to just be unable to accept any difference or at least non-conformity because they just don't understand it. They need homogenised universalness, rather than
multi-diverse unity.



Tyl3r
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28 Mar 2014, 1:13 pm

I identify as "agender", so completely outside of the spectrum. I don't feel like any of the usual binary stuff applies to me.

I'm hoping to drop some body fat, as the fat distribution on me makes me look more female.



backjruton
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30 Mar 2014, 10:33 am

I consider myself grey-asexual (but also gay) more than anything :wink:



Prism
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04 Apr 2014, 3:23 pm

Heidi80 wrote:
There are many theories. One theory that expecially explains FtM-transgenders is that the autistic brain is more logic (ie "male) even in biologically female persons on the spectrum. Another theory is that it is easier for us to go away from the norm and choose other forms of self-expression, because we don't always recognize society's norms


I think this makes sense with what I've seen from how other Asperger people act in society. Me, ever since I figured out why I was depressed, I've strongly identified with being female trapped in male body. Strongly girly girl personality that I hold in myself: wanting dresses, painting nails, hairless body, long hair, etc. Is how my persona has been, and to not be able to express that because of my body is like hell to me.

I can't really empathize with being genderless... to be honest to me that just feels like it would be boring not to be able to express a gender stereotype strongly. Almost like being a robot, and I dislike robots... they feel like a mockery of life to me.


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drchcat85
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29 Oct 2014, 4:55 pm

youwho wrote:
Apparently it's not just 'extreme male brain' any more, it's now a 'gender defiant disorder' http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116.long
[img][800:1280]http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/201/2/116/F2.large.jpg[/img]

Possibly exacerbated by exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals at a certain stage of development in the womb.
Too much BPA, synthetic hormones, and too many Phthalates etc.


I look both masculine (on height) and feminine (on voice). Currently, I am overweight and I look more masculine than few years ago, when I was thin and my appearance was a little more feminine.
I believe, the gender stereotypes and social hierarchies depend on the social rules and the NTs learn it instinctively. Others teached me, how to act as male, but I dont understand the sense. Other said me sometimes, that I must act like ?extrovert?, ?assertive?, ?like a man?. When I got, sometimes, sensory overload or social overwhelmed, and anxious, other said me that a man is "strong". It took me a very long time to understand the sense of this expressions. Or when I show fear on a social situation, others tokd me ?you're a man". I consider myself a bit genderqueer or androginous. I accept my physical male identity, but I hate the male stereotype, like ?boys don't cry?. I don't agree the gender segregation of the human personality traits. And I don't agree the specific gender expectations of the society.
The Baron Cohens tests (EQ and SQ) show that I have an "extreme female brain" (SQ = 17, EQ = 70). But I think that autism is not an "extreme male brain", it's just an overspecialized brain in some areas. I read about the patterns of Asperger syndrome and I found that I tend to have the female form of ASD.


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Sorenzo
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02 Nov 2014, 3:42 pm

I don't know much of the science on this issue, but it seems pretty straightforward to me.

Sexuality is, in any sense of the word, a complex thing. Socially, physiologically, biochemically, genetically. Anything that meddles significantly with any aspect of sexuality seems destined to affect it. My best guess is that autism significantly change most of the social factors that lead into sexuality. It changes our relationship to everyone around us, and our experience of the world, so it'd seem strange to me if it did NOT affect the distribution of gender and sexual identity in our population.

I'm borderline asexual, for the record. I hate heteronormativity with a passion... I have a difficult enough time finding the love of my life without society telling me I'm unmanly.


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Rhodry
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17 Nov 2014, 3:27 pm

This new to me. It made sense. I prefer other gender clothes. Than my own.



green0star
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30 Apr 2016, 12:32 pm

I'm genderqueer and asexual. I've been self identified genderqueer for about 4 years now and I just learned I was asexual a couple months ago. My discovery of GQ was actually an accidental one although its been something that would come to mind every now and then through out my life. Never felt ultimately female but I never strongly identified male either. Other times I would feel as if I was a gay dude in a female body or my favorite way to wording it back then "a tomboyish girl and a feminine boy all in the same". It was quite complex but I was glad and relieved to learn there was a term for it those 4 years ago, and I was also glad to know I wasn't alone in this. These days(even if it is mostly online) I come across many who are like myself and that's a huge relief to say the least.

As for me being asexual, my views on sex may anger some people but since we're all being honest I might as well come out and say it. I feel that sex creates significant weakness within the human mind and that people tend to become very weak as a result. For those who desire it that's their business whatever they do but since I don't I just see it as something that serves no more purpose other then to reproduce.