What not to do - online dating

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What not to do? Don't be ugly.

But seriously, you will be judged mostly on your looks on those sites so be prepared.
And set your mind that not getting reply to your message is the norm. Unfortunately most men don't get responses to their messages unless they are very attractive.
So don't have any expectations. It's like winning a lottery.

ONLY post nude photos...that way if you get lucky, you get LUCKY

I think you have to drop the mindset that people should accept you no matter what. Why should they? They don't know you, and all they see is a username and a picture. You must understand that you are one face among many, so it's about marketing that first response. That does not equate to "all men/women have ridiculously high standards". They do not know you, and passing you because you have a bad picture of you is not a judgement of you or of them.

Also, don't over-identify with any diagnosis or disability. When I read profiles like "Hi, I'm Tom and I have Aspergers..." I instantly discard them. I want to know what Tom is like, what's his personality, his hobbies, his work, his dreams. Not a diagnosis. If that is all that is to Tom, then I'm not inclined to explore his profile.

Proof that okcupid pic is the most important thing:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt200381.html

Screenshots:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf200381-0-30.html


I've stopped okcupid because:
1- Got sick of it.
2- Very few members in my area, never new members (same members stay for years) and I've dated the ones I thought they may be compatible.
3- I don't believe anymore that online dating creates a real bond; you will be always viewed as an option out of many during the dating process even if the girl likes you, and girls often got stuck in a loop of "seeking the better".

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Aug 2014, 7:14 am, edited 2 times in total.

Well hell I think I spoke too soon. Yesterday night I am texting the girl. Out of nowhere she asks to tell me something that she knows will be offensive. I said go for it. She doesn't date "particularly men of my shade or tone" if I catch her drift. I said, you could've just said black guys. Lol
But maybe she just liked my interests and friendly approach. Because for the life of me I cannot see how she would communicate and ask me out but isn't attracted to black guys. And she said that she's "willing to try" to see if something happens. I'm saying to myself, ummm...no. Not gonna force something that's not there for you. I don't think I'll be going to the date today. She said that she would pick me up. Actually, today I'd rather play basketball now.
That was a very weird episode I was in.

But yeah OLDing is shallow I can say that. But I always say it is 3 kind of women I always attract: severely overweight ones, single moms, and ones that are crazy. Lol

So it's acceptable to judge someone on superficial criteria such as how much money they make or whether they look like a movie star or fashion model?

I'm old enough now that I can safely say that beauty is indeed skin-deep and looks will eventually fade. Character and education are more likely to last and, in the long run, are of more value.

I don't think I look that bad but I can never get a good photo of myself. My appearance has improved drastically since I went on that diet but that means I can't use all my old photos. The problem is if I'm to be judged on my appearance I need a better photographer. Better yet I need to be better at posing. Something besides the poker face or forced smile.


Though some of the girls on that site aren't great photographers either. When they take selfies it makes them look a bit antisocial but the most unspeakable horror is the duckface.

And when you meet them in real life they often look different though if it was a bad photo their real life appearance could be an improvement.

Anyway for some reason none of those popular sites seem to work for me. I got one date out of geek2geek and all my other dates were from Oasis. I'm pretty sure all the other sites are scams, including eHarmony.

Agreed. Goes for guys too. There are plenty of guys on tinder that put up horrible pictures. I will dismiss them, because I can't properly judge wether I like their faces. I bet there are a lot of them that I would be attracted to in real life if I met them there, though.

I was going to say this

At last, blunt truths.




That's most true, thing is that I only APPEAR attractive in pictures mainly because my most unattractive physical attributes (shortness, black eye circles, not-so-aligned teeth) aren't apparent in pics; I've always been told that I appear taller in pics.

Even tho my height info was honestly displayed, a digital info of height won't create a 'not attractive' reflex in women browsing my profile as it does in real life, or most likely they don't read the profile well.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 19 Aug 2014, 10:49 am, edited 2 times in total.

If pics are the case to to Craigslist lmao
I mean that's like blind dating capital right there. Some actually don't ask for a picture.
Idk man OLDing isn't for everybody but it still shouldn't be knocked if you
don't meet many folks in your area IRL.

Yep, if you are not photogenic, your chances won't be good on there. Compound that with being a male. Otherwise, you will do ok.

Now that I think about it, you will probably do better if you practice taking good pictures of yourself with the camera, or have a professional do it.

One time I met up with a guy who listed his body type as "average" but his face pics made him look like he was overweight. But I thought maybe he just had a chubby face and a leaner body.
Well he was indeed very overweight. I should've trusted what I saw in the pics.

I often balance between athletic or average. I am average in size. Maybe could be smaller. As people often group me in the "lean" category. But I don't have much of a six-pack. I put athletic because I am athletic. I can run, jump, and cut better than most women. Lol lol
But if athletic means (ripped) then I'd respectively put average.

I'd assume:

athletic = ripped, good at sports, or work out a lot (I know you can be athletic without being ripped but this is just appearance wise)
fit = not quite ripped but toned body with some defined muscles
average = not overweight but no defined muscles

but I realize that in the states, "average" means "not morbidly obese".
It's all subjective so it's useless to see what body type they think they have.

lol Myspace angle.

I wonder sometimes tho, are my pictures really that dishonest? I don't try to take specific angles or crop or anything like that; maybe I should have posted a group pic to show how my height looks like?

It always puzzling to me how females online compliment my looks (with private sexual advances, unsolicited nude pics....yeah, to that extent) yet in real life I see nothing any of this lust; I have a lot of female friends and I can easily befriend so it's not something in my personality; and seeing how my female friends, females here and on other sites how much they care about height then my height is the most probably turn off in real life.