Losing desire entirely?

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I shall admit officially, I've lost the desire for any kind of relationship; even tho I've never been in real relationship but when I got age 29-30 something has switched in my brain and desired a relationship strongly enough back then, this has lasted for about a year and half.

But after that, during my employment crisis I've ceased all dating attempts in real life and online, removed my profile on okstupid, ; stopped approaching any women or even thinking about it, I've limited my social life with a select of few friends and never attempted to know new people further, even friends of friends; I had one goal in mind : finding a stable job; and this has lasted for 10 months.

I've thought I would desire it again after achieving this, but I was wrong, now even after securing a stable not-bad job, I am still not interested at all and I don't think it will return anytime soon; nothing, nothing in my brain craving for love; not even a short term, I think this zone is dead for good lol- I might not mind something casual coming my way but I have zero willingness to pursue it, not even passively. I was even used to have a temporary crushes over people here and there, but it has been over a year with nothing - not even a thought.


What's wrong with me??! :O How is that possible?

Sounds normal to me.

I wish that I lost desire entirely. I've never once been listening to Taylor Swift at 3 in the morning in a pool of my own tears because I wasn't in love with a girl.

I go to bed each night wishing that I didn't have feelings and that I was free from the personal hell of unrequited desire. Not being in love would solve 99% of my problems right now. (It won't help me get a job but not being in love will allow me to divert all of my resources to solving that problem instead of fighting the urge to hang myself)

I think its because you are tired of people (NTs and AS) using you or lying to you. I know I got bored of the angles all people use to get what they want and treat me like a commodity.

My guess would be that all the negative outcomes of your experiences so far has made you give up subconsciously.

As long as you don't feel lonely I see no harm in not pursuing a relationship. Just keep your eyes and ears open for the people around you.

Goodness knows if I could just live entirely by myself without being devoured by loneliness I think I would.

I've had the most success when I sat back, and just waited for it to happen.

Relationships are over-rated. Most women I was associated with were interested in had ulterior motives.

One I suspect wanted me as a way of staying in the country. Perhaps she hoped that I'd get her pregnant and not only would she have had an anchor baby, she would have had someone finance it.

Another that I dated for a while was one of those who wanted to get married before she reached a certain age. Guess who thought I'd make a good husband for her? Fortunately, she married someone else.

A former neighbour, though I was never interested in her, thought all I was good for was as a source of genetic material for the kid she always wanted. She eventually got one (fortunately, not from me), though I don't know who she suckered into being the father.

Another one, also one I never found attractive, behaved as though I'd make a good way of topping off her retirement plan.

Women like that are one reason I'm done with the dating game now.

I don't know what's wrong with you (or even if anything is wrong). I am have the same feelings though. I am becoming more and more strongly convinced that I do not want a romantic relationship in my life. But I have a hard time accepting a long life (60-70 more years) devoid of sex and romance. It makes me feel like I have no purpose in life. It also makes me feel like a loser (compared to people who have reproduced). At the same time, it makes no sense for me to try to date or have kids. I don't want that type of intimacy. I think my desire for a relationship is motivated simply by my desire want to fit in. I know I would be miserable living that lifestyle though, even if I met the love of my life. I am not a people person.

"okstupid"

Nothing's wrong with you. Sexuality's very dynamic. If you were in a relationship right now, this might be called a 'relationship problem', but since you're not, it's up to you to define it how you would like. If you want it back, you can consider something to be wrong with you. If you're completely fine with it, maybe you're asexual now. And if you switch back, well, you switched back. The labels we use are more for convenience/interpretation's sake than to reflect our "inner self".

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

I've felt that way at times, and if it wasn't for the fact that I really want a family and kids someday I probably would just throw in the towel and give up. In my case, it's what a previous poster alluded to: most of my experiences with dating have led to rejection, confusion, and embarrassment, and after a while the negatives just seem to out-way the potential positives. I've gotten to where I no longer have much interest in new people that I meet, just because I hate getting to know someone over a few weeks only to find out we're not compatible for "X" reason.

I have a pretty good life right now, so I'm certainly doing fine on my own, but having someone to share it with would still be a nice bonus.

Enjoy yourself while it lasts, Boo. Once you start your new job and settled in with routines your longing for companionship might come back.
Until then just chill and enjoy your freedom from the agony.

wish I could feel that way. unfortunately I have a don't give up mentality. or maybe i'd just given up on work and love and ....

if you've found a way to be happy alone good for you

I was in that kind of zone too for a while.

Remember, the opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference.

If you hate the opposite sex for not wanting to show love and compassion, it shows you care, but if you just don't care about romance, love and all that, then you move on and accept reality and shut out what the media tells you. (and I think you should, because the media is very destructive).