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Yuzu
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13 Sep 2014, 9:53 pm

Boxman108 wrote:
Everything is permitted when it comes to humor...unless you're a hypocrite.


Sure. And I have the freedom to decide what is funny or unfunny to me.



HeenriqueM
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14 Sep 2014, 5:52 am

Guys no need to go off topic! I guess my problem is her age, '19'... the '1' in the age... If I was 23 already and she was 20 I think it would be the most normal thing ever. But I guess that's just how it is, a stupid worry.



andrethemoogle
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14 Sep 2014, 5:38 pm

I'm probably in the minority where I would prefer to date women who are older than me. Plus, I generally get along better with those who are older than me.



Ectryon
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16 Sep 2014, 9:36 pm

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]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O


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italstallianion
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16 Sep 2014, 10:52 pm

I was 15-17 and hooking up with a high school teacher approaching 40 so I get it.


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16 Sep 2014, 11:04 pm

The question has been answered... you are both legal, most people aren't going to care... my wife is 5 years younger than I (she was 19 and I - 24 when we met)... and our girlfriend is 18 years younger than I... no one is going to blink


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AngelRho
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17 Sep 2014, 6:09 am

Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).



AngelRho
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17 Sep 2014, 6:37 am

andrethemoogle wrote:
I'm probably in the minority where I would prefer to date women who are older than me. Plus, I generally get along better with those who are older than me.

+1. Younger people, I think, expect more from older people. Older people find it easier to take the driver's seat in the relationship.



nerdygirl
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17 Sep 2014, 7:07 am

My parents are 9-1/2 years apart. A couple from my church are 13 years apart (about 33 and 36 now), another couple from my church are about 30 years apart (about 55 and 85 now - the husband is older than the wife's mother!). It all works.

When I was 13, I dated a 17 yr old. (I shouldn't have, but it was more due to the guy than the age.)
When I was 14, I dated a 20 yr old. (We got along great, but of course he was more serious than I was and started talking about getting married.)
When I was 17, I was interested in a 23 yr old, though we didn't date.
Then later when I was 17, I met my husband. He is 3-1/2 yrs older. We got married when I was 21.

(No physical intimacy in these relationships before marriage, so no need to wonder about the legality of it all.)

Age difference obviously doesn't phase me. I actually think there are quite a few benefits to a woman being with an older man, and I will pass along those thoughts to my daughter when she gets to dating/marrying age.



JackBruns
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18 Sep 2014, 8:22 pm

HeenriqueM wrote:
I was wondering if I am the only one who age difference affects a little ? I am 22 and my current girlfriend is 19. (her b-day 12 July, mine 25 july)... I know, it's pathetic being like this for 3 years... But in my mind I think people will look at me like 'Damn he's 22 dating a 19 y/o girl....).. I know there are cases that the age difference is about 10 years and people don't even care, but I was interested in knowing if this is something that people with Aspergers usually worry about? Like the way others will lookat me and the sittuation as I usually dated older girls.. usually 1/2 years older. Thank you very much for your time :)

i
Nah. As long as you both dig each other, I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly, people getting hung up on age is just another crazy American social construct by people with too much time on their hands. These are the same clowns that gave us prohibition and the "war on drugs". Both have been an understated disaster for this insane country.

It actually used to be even in the early 20th century, that there was no such thing as teenage years. That you went directly from child to adult. Which meant that it would not be inconceivable for a man in his 30's to marry a younger girl even as low as 12. She bleeds, she breeds. I know, it's dirty, but there is much truth there.



Ectryon
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19 Sep 2014, 8:44 am

AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.


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nick007
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19 Sep 2014, 8:55 am

Ectryon wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
We were online friends 1st & due to odd things in common she was the 1st person I connected with & felt understood me. Like lots of other Aspies I'm immature for my age & behind with things. Some say Aspie's mental ages are a 3rd less than their physical ages & that formula would make my mental age about the same as her physical age.


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Ectryon
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19 Sep 2014, 9:45 am

nick007 wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
We were online friends 1st & due to odd things in common she was the 1st person I connected with & felt understood me. Like lots of other Aspies I'm immature for my age & behind with things. Some say Aspie's mental ages are a 3rd less than their physical ages & that formula would make my mental age about the same as her physical age.



Im sorry but I just think that it was wrong man regardless. Imagine if you were the parent


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My history on this forum preserves my old and unregenerate self. In the years since I posted here I have undergone many changes. I accept responsibility for my posts but I no longer stand behind them.
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nick007
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19 Sep 2014, 10:17 am

Ectryon wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.
We were online friends 1st & due to odd things in common she was the 1st person I connected with & felt understood me. Like lots of other Aspies I'm immature for my age & behind with things. Some say Aspie's mental ages are a 3rd less than their physical ages & that formula would make my mental age about the same as her physical age.



Im sorry but I just think that it was wrong man regardless. Imagine if you were the parent
I don't agree & don't feel like turning this thread into a debate about that so your entittled to your own opinion & I'll leave it at that.


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Feralucce
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19 Sep 2014, 11:50 am

AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


The attitude of the parents, at least, in most USA states, has little to do with the legality of things... In most states, the state can press charges regardless of whether or not parents approve.


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AngelRho
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19 Sep 2014, 12:14 pm

Ectryon wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Ectryon wrote:
Quote:
]I was in a mostly online relationship with a 15year-old when I was 20 & when I was 28 I got in a relationship with a 19year-old girl from this site so I don't think 19 & 22 is a big deal at all



What the hell 8O

Well?it's POSSIBLE to date a teen regardless of an adult's age and mainly depends on whether the teen's parents approve. But this gets filed under the "just because you CAN?" category. It's playing with fire. As an over-18 adult, I've only dated two high school kids in my life. The first was the gf I'd been with since jr. high (yeah, I know?), the second was a girl I'd been friends with since high school. I don't recall there being more than 3 years age difference, and I hadn't done anything remotely illegal in either case. The second girl I mentioned was 17 or 18 when we started dating, I spent a lot of time with her and her parents, so for a while things were really good.

In retrospect, though, if I could go back and give the young me some sage advice, I'd tell me not to pursue relationships with non-college kids, regardless of the circumstances. It's all about freedom and maturity, and high school kids don't need the pressure of adult relationships, even if the age difference is as little as a year. It's not really about the age difference, but where you are in life. People want too much in life all at once and spread themselves too thin. If you want romance, you'll sacrifice your studies. If you want top grades or to fast-track your career path, you'll sacrifice your relationships. You can't win both ways. It's not fair to put that on a high school kid, so a college/career person ought to do the mature thing and stay out of high school when it comes to dating. Dating before you finish school isn't the smartest thing to do, anyway (yes, I did it?no, I wasn't being very smart).


Im not understanding why a mature adult man would want to date a teenager. 15 is 3 years before legal age and 3 years is a long time. I thought that one of the reasons we have legal ages is to prevent mature older guys grooming kids.

Well, like I said, in my case the first girl I dated post-high school was the same girl I'd been dating for some 4 years already. Our history went back so far our parents had to drop us off/pick us up for stuff or otherwise chaperone us. I'm not good at much in life, but I've ALMOST completely mastered the LTR!! ! Back in the day I thought hanging onto a gf for so long was really cool?nowadays, I look back on it as being totally pathetic. But that's another thread.

The other girl was someone I was well-acquainted with for some time prior to dating. It's not like I was going around different high schools looking for poor suckers to hook up with. I saw it as, "hey, I've known this girl for years, she seems interested in me, and she's a sweet kid. Why not?" I didn't look at it as any different than anyone college-aged.

"Legal" age varies by jurisdiction, btw. AOC in Mississippi is 16. I've never had sex with anyone under 18, anyway, and dating someone isn't the same thing as having sex with them. But I agree? What IS a 20+yo adult doing with a 15yo?

I'd be careful with that if someone INSISTS on doing it. I certainly wouldn't openly admit to "dating" if that were the case. Tutoring/mentoring, sure. Having a latte just before going to the HS football game, fine. You hang out because she grew up right next door and her parents used to hire you to babysit and you're still friends. GREAT. Once you call it "dating," it just gets creepy.

I briefly swapped spit with a girl I met doing community theater (and yes, it DID have to do with acting opposite each other in a production?I'm happily married). We first met when she was still in high school?come to think of it, she might have been 15 at the time. Doing the role was WEIRD because even though she was 20, all I saw was that teenager. I don't think I have it in me to deliberately pursue someone that age.