Any ladies interested in long distance

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Roman
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07 Aug 2009, 12:08 pm

A month and a half I moved to do post doc in India. I assume most people on this site are not from there. So is anyone interested in doing long distance relationship with me? I will be staying in India for two years and then I will be back to USA.

hartzofspace
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07 Aug 2009, 6:16 pm

While I am not interested in a long distance relationship with anyone, I am surprised that you share nothing about yourself in your WP profile. What would a woman find to be attracted to, if you don't share such info? Just curious.

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Roman
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08 Aug 2009, 6:31 am

hartzofspace wrote:

Okay I editted my profile, how is it?

hartzofspace
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08 Aug 2009, 6:44 pm

Much better! Now ladies can see some of your interests, and have a basis to start interaction. I wish more guys on here would do the same!

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MsDoubt
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09 Aug 2009, 2:03 am

You guys shouldn't post these threads because no girls are going to respond or want to talk, let's be realistic now

MissConstrue
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09 Aug 2009, 2:58 am

Interesting...but you aren't being specific.

Online or online and then perhaps meeting her irl.

Also, what kind of girl are you looking for?

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Last edited by MissConstrue on 09 Aug 2009, 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Who_Am_I
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09 Aug 2009, 3:26 am

MsDoubt wrote:

You guys shouldn't post these threads because no girls are going to respond or want to talk, let's be realistic now

Making an effort gives you slightly less chance of failure than not trying because you assume you'll fail does.

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MsDoubt
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09 Aug 2009, 3:46 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

MsDoubt wrote:

You guys shouldn't post these threads because no girls are going to respond or want to talk, let's be realistic now

Making an effort gives you slightly less chance of failure than not trying because you assume you'll fail does.

Yea I guess you're right. To me it seems like he's just interested like any other person, but to others it may seem like desperation causing themk not to respond to his thread. I'm not interested, but I just dont want him getting frustrated because no one responds

Roman
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09 Aug 2009, 4:07 am

MissConstrue wrote:

Interesting...but you aren't being specific.

Online or online and then perhaps meeting her irl.

Okay due to the job, I am only allowed to be out of town 15 days every half a year, so it won't be realistic to meet until my postdoctoral appoinment is over. But once it is over I do want to start face to face relationship that will hopefully lead to something serious.

MissConstrue wrote:

Also, what kind of girl are you looking for?

I would like someone intelligent with whom I can have intellectual conversations with. Preferably with college education or higher. Someone in the age range between 20 and 30. Someone who is willing to commit.

Last edited by Roman on 09 Aug 2009, 7:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

Roman
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09 Aug 2009, 4:36 am

MsDoubt wrote:

... but to others it may seem like desperation causing themk not to respond to his thread.

Thats one thing I don't understand. Why if someone is desperate you won't respond? Wouldn't you hurt the desperate person by not responding MORE than any other? And also, wouldn't a desperate person put MORE effort into relationship if given a chance?

P.S. I am not desperate, but I am USED to be few years ago. So I feel compelled to ask that since I am mad at the treatment I received few years ago.

MsDoubt
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09 Aug 2009, 4:44 am

Roman wrote:

MsDoubt wrote:

... but to others it may seem like desperation causing themk not to respond to his thread.

ea, but Roman, we've all been through this already. I agree with you tho, but most people dont like desperate people, especially desperate men. It's stupid. who cares

Roman
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09 Aug 2009, 4:49 am

MsDoubt wrote:

ea, but Roman, we've all been through this already. I agree with you tho,

I am glad you agree with me.

MsDoubt wrote:

but most people dont like desperate people, especially desperate men. It's stupid. who cares

I won't say "who cares" because desperate ppl are much prone to be hurt than others, so treatment of desperate ppl should be way on top of the list. If you have some normal, non-desperate guy, not able to get a date then yes, I would say "who cares" since its no different than, say, me not being able to get my favorite ice cream. But if someone is desperate, I can't say "who cares" since his life is being ruined by ppl mistreating them.

ZEGH8578
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09 Aug 2009, 9:43 am

Roman wrote:

MsDoubt wrote:

ea, but Roman, we've all been through this already. I agree with you tho,

I am glad you agree with me.

MsDoubt wrote:

but most people dont like desperate people, especially desperate men. It's stupid. who cares

are you trying to change the instincts of mankind here and now?
a lot of things SHOULD be different, especially to fit my lifestyle better.

this post DOES come off as desperate, shes nice enough to break it to you, where most others simply didnt care enough to, and you just drone on about how shes wrong cus it SHOULD be different.

desperation, subconciously, means the following:
you have tried and tried but still wont get a girl.
theres something inherently wrong with you.

now dont get all personal w me, cus im just telling you why desperation doesnt sell. i dunno anything about you, but that is the message you send out, by acting desperately: "be with me, ive been rejected constantly for reasons you are about to find out"

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phil777
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09 Aug 2009, 3:34 pm

I've had bad experience with long distance(*) relationships... So i wouldn't recommend it, but i heard it works... somehow. <.<

makuranososhi
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09 Aug 2009, 5:40 pm

Roman wrote:

Point of personal fact: I have had long distance relationships, but never once did one start in the manner you propose. My suggestion? Find penpals. Get to to know people. But an open invitation to an online relationship, immediately, with someone? Not something I see as being a potentially successful ploy.

And regarding desperation and responding... an anecdote. I replied once to a message I received from a lady who seemed nice enough from what she had to say albeit a tad desperate. Within days, I was receiving tens of messages a day and a guilt trip when I did not reply fast enough or thoroughly enough. Yes, there is a desire to put more effort into a relationship, and in some cases that is beneficial... but often it can also be overwhelming and displaced. This isn't something another person can help the desperate individual with; they have to decide to make themselves the priority and not throw themselves at another person. It can indicate that there are issues with the person themselves, how they function in a relationship, etc... for lack of a better way of saying it, it does throw the yellow caution flag into the air.

M.

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hartzofspace
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09 Aug 2009, 7:11 pm

makuranososhi wrote:

Roman wrote:

And regarding desperation and responding... an anecdote. I replied once to a message I received from a lady who seemed nice enough from what she had to say albeit a tad desperate. Within days, I was receiving tens of messages a day and a guilt trip when I did not reply fast enough or thoroughly enough. Yes, there is a desire to put more effort into a relationship, and in some cases that is beneficial... but often it can also be overwhelming and displaced. This isn't something another person can help the desperate individual with; they have to decide to make themselves the priority and not throw themselves at another person. It can indicate that there are issues with the person themselves, how they function in a relationship, etc... for lack of a better way of saying it, it does throw the yellow caution flag into the air.M.

I had this happen with a dating service, not a long distance thing. But when the guy contacted me, he not only spent an hour chatting to me on the phone, he went on to call every-single-night! Since we'd agreed to meet a week from the day of the initial phone call, I knew that this guy was going to be trouble. The only reason I went through with the date, was to see what he looked like, and the license of his car, because I had detected a pattern that would cause problems. And I was correct. He, after seeing a movie with me, continued to harass me, even though I made it clear that I hadn't taken to him. I had to enlist law enforcement to make him stop bothering me. He was clearly desperate!

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Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner

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