If I found out I was adopted...

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I'd think I'd lose my mind. The idea of my identity being a lie created and perpetuated by the "parents" would gnaw away at my soul. I would deny them and the real parent/s any sort of love, for they are undeserving of it. My hatred for them would be almost homicidal. I might not love anyone. Ever.

Is this something that is likely to happen to you?

My aunt was adopted, and she didn't react in that manner at all. She was grateful to my grandparents for adopting her, and though she never found her birth mother, she never resented or hated her.

Exactly the same here. If I had a bigger sense of humor I wouldn't be able to stop smiling every time having heard this silly phrase about parents being those who raised you not those thanks to whom you came into this world. If you call your adoptive caretakers parents then how to call those who REALLY are them, for heaven’s sake? Well, adoptive caretaking is worth of respect, that’s for sure but that’s something one step below REAL parenthood, worse than it in this respect that it isn’t real – I’ll compare it to dental implants: they can look much better than real teeth, as same as your adoptive parents can be much more caring and affectionate than your biological parents would ever be… but it isn’t real, it’s just playing parenthood. You can say about your best friend “X is like a brother to me”… but you can’t say he’s really your brother. If I were adopted I’d try to meet my parents regardless of what kind of people they would be, even simply out of pure curiosity. Blood ties are something special, your relatives will always be them even if you don’t go along with them. I would never forget if I found out I was adopted.

Giftorcurse and Irulan, you seem to be getting yourselves all worked up about a hypothetical situation. I know lots of adoptees, and while they, of course, know that they're adopted, NONE of them feel that way. They all feel very much that their adoptive parents are their real parents, and their biological parents are their biological parents. It is not a conflict. Those who know their biological families have no problem having both families in their lives; those who don't, sometimes want to find their biological families to satisfy curiosity or whatever, but not to replace who they see as their real families. Clearly, it would be difficult to find out that you were adopted if that had been hidden from you, but it wouldn't change the fact that your family was your family.

As an adopted child, I feel I should throw my two cents into the ring.

As a child, I always felt alienated and out of sorts for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Growing up, I couldn't understand why I felt this way-like I was somehow crow barred into my family. I'd always suspected I was adopted from the moment I became old enough to understand the concept, largely because my adoptive mother and I are the only people in the ENTIRE family to be born with green eyes.
I was also confused over the fact that everyone in my family was fair-skinned, blue-eyed and dirty blonde whilst I was sallow/freakishly pale, green-eyed and had almost-black hair.

When I eventually turned nine, I asked my mother outright if I was adopted after seeing a program about adoptees reuniting with their birth parents. She was 100% honest with me and my brother (who is also adopted) and fully explained how she had adopted me at 7 months after having three sucessive miscarriages.

Initially, I was relieved to have an answer to all my internal questions but as the hormones started going mental when I hit puberty, I used the fact I was adopted as a threat to my mother during arguements, saying she had no autority over me as "she didn't give birth to me".

It took a few years of soul searching before I came to realize that even though we're not related by blood, my mother is the woman who adopted me, who protected me as a baby, the one who kissed my scrapped knees, told me off if I was bad or cuddled me if I cried.

Though part of me is curious to learn about my biological family, I don't feel enough to actively look for them. If anything, I'm more curious to learn of my lieniage and biological medical history-I just want to know if there's any interesting foreign blood in me or if there's a history of such-and-such a diease in the family.

Ultimately, I just want to know who I inherited my Asperger's from. When it comes to actually meeting the woman who gave birth to me, I don't feel compelled to meet her as I feel she is just a stranger.
She may have given birth to me but the woman I call "Mom" is my true mother as she was the one who raised me and the one who can truely call me her daughter.

Motherhood is not necessarily a blood tie but an emotional tie. Just because someone incubated me for 9 months doesn't make them a parent-it's what happens afterwards that's the deciding factor.

A guy I knew was in his mid teens when he learned that his "older sister" was really his mother and that his "parents" were really his grandparents.

Talk about a kick in the head!

The only thing that would bother me, is wanting to meet my actual parents. I practically raised myself anyway, so it wouldn't make much difference if they told me tomorrow, that i was adopted. I've been through alot worse than that, and survived.


It would be nice to meet my real parents though, just to have that feeling of genetic identity. It's not super-important, but would definitely be a bonus.

It would explain a lot.

when I found out my dad wasn't my "real dad" I genuinely didn't care, as far as im concerned he raised me so he's stuck with me! I don't understand what your parents have to do with your identity either

^ WTF?

Pretty sure this guy is trolling. Don't feed the troll.

If you aren't trolling then you have serious problems... get help

i'd hate the birth parents most for bringing me into this world and wanting nothing to do with me, i wouldn't attempt to contact them and deny all attempts by them..

At least the adoption parents would take you, honestly most cases they're transferred from foster home to foster home, never having real parents, and then you aren't brought into a dysfunctional family where you're an unwanted accidental child.