How important is it to a potential partner that you have a d

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I just came back from a meeting with my driving instructor and a NYS DMV rep, who basically told me, after 9 driving lessons with a professional from AAA, that I would basically be better off as a passenger in a car due to my inability to process a certain amount of stimuli while on the road. My parents insist that I keep trying, meanwhile, I want to take some time off to process this. I'm deeply concerned that this lack of a license will make me look too dependent and therefore unattractive.

Your advice, please?

Take it from me!
Keep Trying please, for goodness sakes, take in advice from your Driving INstructor and heed it and take it into account.
I took my Written Driving rule Test 4-5 Times before I got in and Got my Driving Certificate And P plates on the first Attempt
My only thinkg stopping me now is I like someone to drive with me if I'm goiing some where Busy Like the goldCoast But apart from that

Take a little time off to let the instruction 'simmer' on the back burner of your mind. Every now and then go sit in the car and practice what you learned so you can learn your own routine without the bother of someone sitting next to you examining everything you do. Once you get your own rhythm and system down, practice in a deserted parking lot ( I assume you have your learner's permit) and just do it at your own pace.

But take months, maybe even years. It takes Aspies more time on some things, but we got time, eh? Keep working on it from time to time, adding more distraction a little at a time. As you continue your routines they will become natural to you, you can even mumble along ("right is the gas and left is the clutch and the brake pedal is just in between. . . ") and when you are ready to take the test again, you can feel comfortable and secure in your own confidence you have the manovers down pat.

I have been driving for years. I practiced until I have everything as a routine I don't even have to think about. I like routines. . they are my friends.

good luck and don't give up learning to drive for good, just give it a rest from time to time. You will finally do quite well.

Never mind whether the lack of a driving licence makes it harder to get a date, is this visual processing difficulty liable to make you a danger behind the wheel of a car? It seems to me that what you are being told is that you are unable, through no fault of your own, to identify and react quickly enough to potential hazards or other relevant information in your environment.

It's all very well saying "keep trying", but I think you would be right to stop the lessons and see someone who can assess your sensory processing abilities and determine whether or not you would be able to drive safely without risking your life or the lives of others.

As this is in love and dating it might reassure you to know that neither of my husbands could drive, and their lack of a driving licence had absolutely nothing to do with the failure of the marriages.

My mom can't drive and she found her mate just fine. And my husband is a terrible driver and I love him!

If it's too much - if problems taking in all the sensory information really would make driving dangerous - then it's okay to not do it.

Yes, you will look dependent and needy without a license. I would date someone, but if they were unable to operate a motor vehicle, it would be a serious concern in the relationship.

Probably depends where you live - my boyfriend can't drive and I didn't even realise for months because we can walk everywhere here, although I'm a student so even my friends who can drive don't really have cars. Also I can't drive either so it's not like I was going to judge him for it. I had about 10 lessons then went to uni, and I'd made so little progress it was ridiculous and I was always failing to do things.
If you've only had 9 lessons that's actually not a lot (by my standards anyway) so I'd probably agree with Sinsboldly. Don't let people rush you when you don't feel ready.

I have to agree with this one. The driving instructor wasn't making a value judgement. He was making a safety judgement. He was worried that have a visual processing problem that makes it likely you will not see another car coming at you in your peripheral vision and be able to slam on the brakes in time. It's a matter of reaction time. If your reaction time isn't fast enough, you will get in an accident even if you are 100% familiar with the rules of the road and how to operate a car.

As for the dating? The best way to make it be a non-issue is to move to a place where a car is not mandatory to get around. This would be either a place where everything is close-packed and within walking distance or a place with good public transportation. For example, many people who grow up in NewYork City never learn to drive because they don't need to because of its excellent public transportation.