Tim_Tex wrote:
I feel like I am the type of person that people just settle for when nobody else will show them any attention. Someone who is interested would not be thinking "This is the guy of my dreams". Rather, they would be thinking "Finally, attention from the opposite sex!! !"
I have done everything in my power to make myself attractive to people. I make the first move when meeting someone, I am very gentlemanly on a date, and always paying for both the date and myself, always holding the door open, etc. But even with all that, I am merely someone's "last resort".
I think I'm like that too. But instead of feeling bad about it, I embrace it. How and why? Let me explain. Look at the animal world: females always always
always look for a male with the best genes; that's even true if they have to "share" him with other females. While humans became more civilized and generally seek monogamous relations, vestiges of that "best genes seeking" in women remained.
Now, I'm fully aware that I don't have anything close to best genes. The types of women that most men want (think 36D-24-36) can generally find someone way better than me. But I try to "market" myself to women for whom I'm the best man they can find, like the description in the first paragraph of the quote. More of then than not, I've had some great relationships from using my tactic, and I don't plan to stop using it anytime soon.