My daughter - Is it Autism?

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Thanks for your time, I'm new here.


Our family doctor has referred us to a pediatrician for further testing. She's 3 in March and we've been concerned about the following characteristics for about a year:

- Still working on pointing and following a point. She'll do it at times, but it doesn't seem to come natural
- Spends a good amount of time daydreaming
- really likes crayons. Will color with them when prompted, but prefers to line them up, take them in and out of the box, likes to carry one with her all the time, freaks out if it breaks and has a tantrum. We try to take the crayons away and she'll go for another crayon shaped object like a pen, pencil, chop stick, long cylindar toys, sticks etc - so we've just given her the crayons as they're the least dangerous
- very independant
- doesn't mind being aroung other kids, but doesn't play
- has good language, lots of single words, double words short sentances, but doesn't use them to ask for things - seems to repeat the same words and sentances over and over again - uses words out of context, like ouch when she picks up a bell
- trouble paying attention to books and movies unless they are her favorites
- tantrums when moving from 1 activity to the next - but generally mild mannered and well behaved
- has started banging her head when she's frustrated or when we say no
- Had very basic social things like hi and bye, but they disappeared for 6 months or so, and now they're back although not consistantly
- walks on her tippy toes

Okay so I know all of that sounds like it but then she also shows the following that makes me feel that she's not autistic:

- responds well to her name, consistantly when I say it, fairly consistantly when dad does, not so much when others do
- affectionate - will give me kisses on the lips when she feels like it
- language is slightly delayed but good - learning counting, abc's, shapes, colors etc
- loves to tickle and chase and pretend she's a bee (really likes bee's, movies, books, dressing up like bee's, almost as much as she likes crayons)
- Loves the cat, its her best friend - also is very fasinated by fish
- loves music
- does some imaginate play - has a favorite teddy bear. Will give doll a bottle, put doll on the potty, put her to bed - but needs to be prompted and won't do this for long
- acts the most 'normal' in our home
- decent eye contact with mom, okay with dad, not too great with strangers

The daycare, all 3 sets of grandparents, great grandma and good friends are concerned about autism.

Dad is very social (salesman), I'm more of an introvert and had many problems socializing as a kid, was painfully shy and didn't have many friends. Not sure if I'm projecting and being paranoid or if I got the blinders on and I'm ignoring the signs.

Hoping any parents out there can help me out. Looking for more info specifically on girls with autism as mostly everything I read is more geared to boys.

Thanks

Hi there, and welcome!

I've got a boy with Asperger's and I have to say that it does sound like your daughter is probably on the Spectrum. My son also did/does many of the things you've got on your list as making you think she maybe isn't autistic.

Hopefully someone else will come along who has experience of a daughter on the Spectrum.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Many of the signs your child has are the same things I had as a child. Some of these things your child may or may not outgrow. You must be patient.

The high functioning children are really difficult to diagnose when they are young.

I have one child on the spectrum and one who is not and, honestly, I wouldn't even venture a guess from your written description. I will tell you that my AS child was the most affectionate toddler, and very drawn to social situations. Just, well, his affection was never that interactive, just him grabbing what he wanted.

At age 3 we had no idea my son would ever be diagnosed as on the spectrum, and I am glad for it. That was time without a label, when we were simply busy helping him discover the world in his own unique way and learning what he responded well to, and what he didn't. When we asked our pediatrician about possible sensory integration issues we were noticing, he told us that we were already doing the best type of therapy, ie know your child and respond to it. He had a really good point.

Diagnosis came, for us, after my son entered public school, and was driven by a need for accommodations. Before that, sure, we could tell he was different, but it didn't matter all that much. We adjusted to him. But, with school, adjusting to the child often requires paperwork, and paperwork requires labels, so we pursued it. I have to say we were caught totally off guard when the principal mentioned that her hunch was our son had autism. Our affectionate and imaginative child? Until I did my research, it made no sense to me. I know now how well that label fits.

Unless your child has obvious impairments or delays, I am not sure I would focus too much on the possibility yet. She should be fine through the preschool years, and only need therapy or intervention when she enters school. For that, you have a little time, since the process would usually be started one year before. Until then, I would give her the very best therapy in the world: a chance to be who she is, with you taking the time to know her and what she needs, no labels required.

My daughter, now diagnosed with Aspergers, appeared to be like every other child her age when she was 3. Except to me. I could see that something wasn't quite right. I've fought and fought and fought to get her assessed, although I didn't have a clue that it was autism. Finally, at 16 she was diagnosed. I have been told that most girls don't get spotted until round this age as the signs are often masked by natural female characteristics.

Sounds to me like the professionals she comes into contact with are on the ball though so your daughter may be one of the lucky ones who gets help from very early on.

Also don't try not to worry too much. One thing I have learnt is that autism doesn't mean that there is something wrong with your child. I think it means that a child is very special and therefore struggles to make sense of our very ordinary world. (I happen to think that Asperger's people are an evolutionary step ahead of us non Asperger's primatives.)

Hi BrookeBC! Welcome!

I don't consider this out of context at all. The sudden jingling noise can be quite jarring and mildly painful to an autistic person. Besides, I use 'ouch' as an interjection or exclamation at all sorts of unexpected occurrences. Don't know how long I've done it, as it was unconscious for a long time. Years perhaps.


But, I must admit, it's the second list that made me grin. Here's why:




Autistic is not ret*d. Ignoring someone doesn't mean you didn't hear or understand them. Just that you're not in the mood to respond right now.



'when SHE feels like it.' Again, autistic is not comatose. The dislike of being touched is not just about tactile sensation - its as much about intrusion into personal space. For me, much more so about space. I got no problems with kissing - WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT.



Some speech delay is notably common among the higher functioning.



Can you say "obsessive special interest"? Can you say "High Functioning Autism"? (Sure. I knew you could) Bzzzzzz....



People with autism don't love music? Does this mean I have to get rid of the wall of vinyl record albums that dominate my dining area and the other wall of Cds in my living room? Rats, I guess that means I can't possibly like the seventeen thousand songs on my iPod.



I did comedy on the radio and wrote and voiced cartoony character commercials for 35 years. Hard to believe an unimiaginative disconnected autistic robot could do that, eh? But I gotta say - I hate being told what to do. I'm a competent performer - but I do not take direction well. I can figure it out on my own...



Autism doesn't make us limp or grow humps on our backs. You could know a high functioning autistic for months or years and not realize it if you weren't paying attention. You would notice certain 'odd' or unusual attitudes and behaviors, but you might not automatically associate them with autism. Especially if the media and other organizations purporting to help those with autism actually mislead you into believing autism is an evil monster that will possess your child like a demon and turn them against you, siphoning money from your bank accounts and using your child to publicly humiliate you. There are many who perpetrate such ideas. They do so with millions of dollars donated by the ignorant but well meaning, who have become convinced that some children's personalities should be 'cured'.

Eye contact does not make an autistic's eyeballs melt into pools of wax. We are uncomfortable with it because of cognitive processing issues - in other words, we have a hard time concentrating on the conversation when we become distracted by the speaker's facial movements and expressions. Its easier to hear and comprehend when we're looking somewhere neutral and just listening.

So, uhm...I see as many autistic traits in your "she's not autistic" list as I did in the first one. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Personally, I got no problem with autistic peoples. I are one.

I was(and still am) the autistic daughter and I did some of these things.Many of the traits you describe I still have!

For instance,

I still...

*spend a fair amount of time daydreaming
*love my cat and fishes
*love art ( crayons are awesome btw)
*have good language--so good that I got a degree in English last December 08
*love my family,friends, and boyfriend on my terms
* love music
* have an intense focus on items of interest
*am least visibly disabled and more comfortable at home
*am very independent
*am not a socialite--I'm more sociable than I was but therapy did not change my
essential nature. I'm still introverted.

By the way, I'm glad to see you are still keeping on keeping on. It can be discouraging to look for resources for girls and still find it's largely a man's world! Anyway, there's loads more information on autism available than there used to be and that can be overwhelming--So here's a couple of starting points.

Some of the more widely known sources on women with autism(and autism in general)
include...

1.)Temple Grandin

A woman on the spectrum started by writing memoirs. She has since then become a highly prolific author and lecturer in both the field of animal science and autism.


2.)Donna Williams

Another woman on the spectrum who would have been labeled lower functioning in her younger years .She wrote a fair amount as well. Also one of the founder of ANI(Autistic Network International)

http://www.autreat.com/

3.)Tony Atwood wrote a book called "Aspergers and girls."He has also written a number of other books about autism in general.

Some lesser known sources that seem to be gaining ground include:

1.)Rudy Simone

She too is on the spectrum(interesting to have so many spectrum ladies writing considering many believe autism is more common in men )She specializes in helping adults in employment and relationships. I recently participated in her research in writing her latest book to be published "Aspergirls". Her link is below

http://www.help4aspergers.com/

2.)Asperger Women Association (AWA)

Made by spectrum women for spectrum women. Under construction at the moment, but has links to their own myspace, twitter and facebook pages in the meantime.Includes forum for spectrum women and the people who love them.

*whew*

And if you're not drowning in text by now, I'll leave off here for some processing time. Be well and best of luck in your continued search for understanding!

I don't think its the end of the world, my daughter is amazing, shes playing the piano a bit which I love doing with her!

I just have big decisions to make, like moving back home, where all my extended family is and the funding is better for early intervention stuff. Quitting my job to focus just on my daughter for a few years. I already am on the wait list for the ASD evaluation at the private clinic, they should be booking in Febuary. Lots of learning to do. Thanks again!

Hello-

Your daughter sounds a lot like my 4 year old son who was diagnosed as PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified) possible Asperger's at 2.5 years old. I remember when he was 2 years old, he loved to color with a red crayon, and when it broke, he would have a fit for about 30 minutes. He also carried one around for a while. I thought I would have to order a special box of only red crayons! He finally outgrew that one.

Anyway, I know what you mean about not being sure, because my son is extremely social (with adults) and has good eye contact. He has pretty good language skills, however, he gets hooked on words and phrases. Some of this seems to taper off some as his language improves. He has difficulty playing with other children, but doesn't mind being around them. He doesn't seem to have a lot of the sensory issues. He is obsessed with car makes and models and churches.

From what I have learned, this is why it is called a spectrum, because the presenting issues vary so much.

Just keep loving your daughter and keep interacting with her as much as you can. It can be difficult at times, but you will do fine

Wow, my daughter would only color with a red crayon for a while around that age, also. Coincedence, or maybe there's something about the color red?

I read here (http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/317/main.html) that walking in the tip of the toes might be a sign of autism. Don't know if that is true though. Or it might be just something normal kids do...

I think the frustrating part of pursuing a diagnosis is that depending how the child acts that paticular 2 hr block, affects the whole outcome of the testing. One of my children scored "just at the cut-off" on the ADOS, so he's not considered autistic, I'm seeking out a second opinion but honestly sometimes I wonder why..

Thanks for sharing this; my daughter has AS, and the 'not kissing' thing causes great pain to her mother. Reading this will help her understand better, I think.

This site has a really good article called "How do you know if your child has autism?" It puts all the jargon aside and really explains what you're like to see. http://www.nlconcepts.com/index.htm

Thanks for the article, it describes by daughter quite well, with the exception that thankfully she is not an overly picky eater and I havn't noticed any hyperactivity and bouncing off the walls. Other than that, pretty much everything else in the article applies.